...and i pull the trigger.

( this story is based on the ongoing maoist's armed revolution in Nepal )



I am sitting in the camp made inside a small cave in the jungle, we are fifty comrades altogether. There is a small stream flowing past the cave mouth. It is my first day in a mission after I completed the military training in the district headquarter camp. We are here to attack the village Police Post of Deurali and the mission is named "Bijaya Suruwat" (Starting Victory).

Some comrades are busy cooking while some are making military arrangements. I am sitting on the cold floor of the cave resting my back on its rocky wall, with my shot gun in hand. 31-E is written in it.

"Comrade Abhaya, pack these grenades and bullets in your ruck sack" Our senior comrade Jwala comes and puts some grenades and bullets in front of me. Jwala is the captain of this mission.

"OK comrade?
"Your shot gun is working?"
"Yes"
"Good"
"Loaded your pistol?"
Comrade Jwala checks the AK-47 of comrade Jyoti, who is by my side, and asks me.

"Not yet comrade"
He gives me a quick look, a look whose meaning is difficult for me to confirm.
"Do it, we won't have much time with us after we leave from here"
"OK comrade"

I pull my pistol out from my ruck sack and load it. Comrade Jwala heads towards other comrades asking this and that and confirming things.

Comrade Jyoti crawls a bit towards me with her hip.
"You afraid comrade?" Her eyes are fearless.

This is the first time I am going for a mission. Many things are revolving in my mind. The things that I have learnt during my training days, the big mission of our party, the sacrifice of many brave comrades and etc. I am determined- determined to achieve the goal of my party. The sacrifice of our brave comrades must not go in vain at any cost. But still, there is fear somewhere within me, which I must not show to others, for the sake of myself.

"No, not at all"

I pack fifteen grenades and sixty rounds of bullet inside my ruck sack properly. I will be carrying this much load to Deurali, i think, which is going to be my first battle ground.

"How old are you? You look too young"
Comrade Jyoti asks me while she is busy completing her arrangements.
I look at her. She is busy tying knots in her bag with her experienced hands.
"I will be 17 next month"

Comrade Jyoti completes with her arrangements, breaths long and looks towards the far end of the cave. Comrade Jwala is studying a map there. Two other comrades are helping him. Comrade Kranti is also right there holding the torch. We were together during our training days and this is also his first mission.

Comrade Jyoti turns towards me, her eyes are determined though she has not had a nice sleep for three nights. We all had not, walking up to here for the mission.
"Point your gun towards the enemy and pull the trigger".
She pats my right soldier with her left hand. I don't know why she told those words. I look deep into her determined and fearless eyes.

We prepare to leave for Deurali in the evening. It will take us some four hours in average to reach there. Comrade Jwala starts speaking with us about our mission.
"The monarchy will end, it must. We have the strength,the power, for everything. Let that spill over the enemies who stand on our way to protect the palace. We will win ultimately, people will win and we will no longer have to be crushed under the royal slavery........"


We leave for Deurali at about 6:30 in the evening. We walk through the jungle in the dark to finally reach Deurali. Deurali is a village town with dense houses. The police post is in the northern part of the village along with the VDC (Village Development Committee) building.

We stop near the village and the comrade divides us into five groups, assigns each group a particular job and then starts to explain the war strategies. My group has five comrades including me and comrade Jyoti and we are assigned the job to capture the communication set so as to stop the communication to nearby headquarter to ask for air support.

The village is sleeping. In the police post, there are only two police men awake for security. There are only 10 police men and 4 army men in the post for security. We surround the police post from all directions, divided into groups.

After 11:00 PM, the commander (comrade Jwala) ordered "Open Fire"
Then all at once, two groups start firing towards the police post. Bullets are rushing out of the guns and rifles with great haste.

The opponents, in no time start to resist. The two way firing continues for some time.

"Go and see if anyone is trying to ask for air support", comrade Jwala orders our group.

I rush towards the police building, bullets rushing all around me. Comrade Jyoti and other two comrades provide me cover. While i am about to enter the building i hear one of our comrades shout "I'm hit".

I enter the building and search from room to room silently with caution. At the communication room, I see an army man trying to establish a contact with the headquarter.

I enter the room silently, pointing my pistol towards him. He notices my presence and turns back.

When you are in war, you can't waste any time. Its either you or they who lives or dies. Either you need to be quick or else they will. Either you have to shoot or they will. Its just pulling the trigger earlier that counts.

I look at him, he was trying to lift his rifle towards me and i pull the trigger.

The soldier is dead on the chair he was sitting. I see my bullets shot him thrice on his head.

"Bastard"
Comrade Jyoti enters the room and looks at his dead body.