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 |    Not for the faint of art. |
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Complex Numbers A complex number is expressed in the standard form a + bi, where a and b are real numbers and i is defined by i^2 = -1 (that is, i is the square root of -1). For example, 3 + 2i is a complex number. The bi term is often referred to as an imaginary number (though this may be misleading, as it is no more "imaginary" than the symbolic abstractions we know as the "real" numbers). Thus, every complex number has a real part, a, and an imaginary part, bi. Complex numbers are often represented on a graph known as the "complex plane," where the horizontal axis represents the infinity of real numbers, and the vertical axis represents the infinity of imaginary numbers. Thus, each complex number has a unique representation on the complex plane: some closer to real; others, more imaginary. If a = b, the number is equal parts real and imaginary. Very simple transformations applied to numbers in the complex plane can lead to fractal structures of enormous intricacy and astonishing beauty. ![Merit Badge in Quill Award
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Well, this entry from July of 2020 is embarrassing: "It's a Trappist!"  For starters, it wasn't the first time I'd used that title. In my defense, it's a truly awesome pun combined with a Star Wars reference joke, so I tend to use it a lot. The entry itself was a response to a 30DBC prompt that went like: "If you won a free trip to any foreign country, all expenses paid in your own private jet and had the time to go (and there were no travel restrictions due to a global pandemic  ), what is the first foreign country you would visit? Who would you bring with you? What would you spend your time doing?"And I think we all know the answers to those questions as of 2024, but four years ago, things were a bit different. Last year was my mostly-stay-at-home year. Not only did I want to conserve money for upcoming trips, but I wanted to lose weight so I wouldn't look like a typical American. I was mostly successful at both. I got even better at conserving money for upcoming trips because I could barely go anywhere for four years. The weight thing, I don't talk about. The plan was to go to Scotland in May with a friend for the Islay festival. That might still be my next venture. Obviously, it hasn't happened yet. This shit will not be resolved by next year. So I doubt I'm going to Belgium or France. Or Scotland. Or the Netherlands. Or Belize. Or even travel in the US. Oh, but I did end up doing a road trip in the US the following year. That did not end well (though it could have been a lot worse). I'm prone to depression and this shit is not helping. Not the pandemic, not the travel restrictions caused by the pandemic, and certainly not prompts like this one. The only thing I have to look forward to these days is travel and death, and it looks like the latter is going to happen before the former. See, this is why I'm a pessimist. Either I'm wrong, which makes me happy, or I'm right, which makes me happy. If I were an optimist, I could only be disappointed by the results. Even if I somehow manage to stay alive and reasonably healthy (unlikely), my passport will probably expire before I get a chance to travel again. And I haven't even used it since I last renewed. The major impetus behind planning a Europe trip this year is to use that damn passport before it expires. But right now? In the utterly impossible scenario above? Belgium. With my friend, as I mentioned, and whoever else wants to go. Primarily, I'm interested in immersing myself, at least figuratively, in Belgian beer. Trappist ales, saisons, whatever. I can get some of them here -- I just had a nice couple of bottles of Delirium Nocturnum yesterday, and there's still one in my fridge along with a big bottle of Kwak -- but as with California and wine, they keep the really good stuff for themselves. Coincidentally (or not), I have some Delirium Nocturnum in the fridge right now. It's very difficult to find Kwak here. So the rest of that entry was just responding to the prompt. I'll be traveling alone, and also visiting France, so, not exactly what I had planned (which I don't mind), but dammit, at least it's (probably) going to happen and I can stop annoying everyone with "what I wanna do" posts. |
| Today marks one month since I first talked to the travel agent about my upcoming trip. This week, they sent me a proposed itinerary, with the understanding that I could make changes if I wanted. But there's no need for that. Well, maybe some minor tweaks, but what I saw was exactly in line with what we'd discussed last month. It's almost as if they listened to me and found ways to incorporate what I said I wanted out of the trip. Two weeks in France, one week in Belgium. Food, wine and beer. Some guided tours. Some unguided time. So I wrote back with a request for a small change, basically just a visit to a particular Belgian brewery. Not even an abbey; just a regular business (one that happens to be almost as old as my entire country). There's only one frustrating thing about this, which is that I still don't have an actual schedule. Their proposal was like Day 1, Day 2, etc., but nothing about dates of travel. As I expected to leave in the latter part of September, it seems like that's something we should nail down. But if the trip's in October, that's fine. Just not November. Too cold. And I really should get some travel gear together, but apparently, I'd rather procrastinate. |
| I don't feel like it today. For whatever reason, my temper's been on a hair trigger lately. Maybe it was the hurricane remnants, which have finally passed us by. Maybe lack of sleep. Maybe it's because I haven't had a beer in over a week (no particular reason for that, either, except drinking interferes with my video gaming, and I wanted to play video games). I don't know, and I'm in no mood to do the necessary introspection to figure it out. I'm aware of my bad mood and try not to let it affect others, though the cats might be avoiding me more than usual. But look, there's one thing that's guaranteed to make matters worse when I'm in this kind of shit mood, and that is: asking me why I'm in a shit mood. "Stay away from me; I'm grumpy and don't want to talk." "Oh? What's wrong?" "GAAAAH!" Don't. Just don't. (I mean, now you want to do it here in the comments, which I'll ignore, but I understand the urge.) If I knew what was lighting my fuse, then I could do something about it. Since I don't know, asking me just makes me rage more. Just another reason to be glad I'm single. |
| I don't know much about this source, Ulukayin, but I'm going to assume the article is true because I want it to be true. Yeah, I'm too lazy to be skeptical today. Archaeologists have unearthed a Sumerian pub in Iraq dating back to about 5000 years ago. Among the remains, there is also a tablet with a beer recipe. As we all know, beer itself is far older than that. It's at least as old as civilization. Hell, some claim it's the reason for civilization, and I'm not going to argue with that. The discovery was made in Lagash, an ancient city-state in southern Iraq, by a team of archaeologists from the University of Pennsylvania in the USA and the University of Pisa in Italy. Examining the remains, the team reported that they thought the pub was around 5000 years old. Now my inner skeptic is starting to wake up. "They thought the pub was around 5000 years old?" Did they, you know, do any dating or did they compare architectural styles or what? It is estimated that beer was also consumed in the pub, although analyzes continue. So they're not sure if it was actually for beer. Just that a beer recipe was there. I mean, sure, that's pretty solid circumstantial evidence; why have a recipe if you're not going to actually brew beer? I'm giving them a pass on "analyzes;" English isn't their first language. Archaeologist Holly Pittman of the University of Pennsylvania said that the most common beverage consumed by the Sumerians was beer. She also stated that a tablet with a recipe for beer was found in a nearby temple. Okay, now I'm getting confused. Was that a different tablet? So I guess I kicked my inner skeptic into action, after all. Don't get me wrong; finding the remains of any 5000-year-old building is pretty cool by itself. But did they really have to sensationalize it by making us visualize a public drinking establishment? I don't even know if those existed at the time; I was under the impression that beer was more of a sacred thing, so finding a recipe in the temple makes more sense. Final note about where this was discovered, the ancient city of Lagash: One of my favorite breweries is Allagash, in Maine. I like them because they produce Belgian beer styles. I don't know where they got their name. But from now on, I'll be thinking of them as Al-Lagash. |
| Let's get this out of the way up front: I don't hate kids. There's this persistent binary belief that you either have to love something or hate it, and there's no range in between. I also don't hate dogs; I just don't want to own one or be in a place where someone's biting my ankles. So this Lifehacker article appealed to me, despite the source. The Best Places to Go When You Don't Want to Be Around Kids You don’t have kids, and you don’t want to hang out with kids. Here’s how to find places to live, vacation, and go out where you’re guaranteed to be child free. Besides, would you trust a single, childfree dude in his 50s who says he "loves" kids? I didn't think so. There are a lot of reasons someone might choose to be child free, either for a short time or permanently. Some folks just don’t have any desire to be parents, some can’t afford to be parents, and some parents just need a break from their kids from time to time (which is totally normal and okay). "I just don't want to" should be a more acceptable answer to "Why don't you do [something]?" Of course, just because you’re not bringing any kids doesn’t mean other people won’t. Some folks seem to believe that children should be welcome everywhere, in every situation, no matter what. And that's the other part of it: it's usually not the children who are to blame; they're basically AI being trained on a data set. It's the parents who ought to know better. Whatever the reason, you can’t always guarantee you’ll have a child-free experience—unless you plan ahead and choose your destinations wisely. Well, I'm purposely going to Europe in the fall, when most kids are stuck in school. And my primary interest involves various forms of alcohol. This doesn't stop parents from showing up with their little accessories, but it does cut down on the volume involved. So, where are these magical places, these anti-Disneylands, according to Lifehacker? 55+ communities Yeah, no, I'd have to learn how to play golf. Child-free resorts and cruises Maybe as a last resort. (Damn right pun intended) And if you’re looking for a really adult resort, you can seek out “sex-positive” vacation spots where you can let it all hang out. Hard pass. See, this is my problem with everything in general: "Adult" shouldn't necessarily imply sex. Sometimes you just want to chill with people who talk about something other than Bluey, or whatever the kids are into these days. Restaurants If you’re just looking for a night out without dealing with screaming kids or misbehaving pre-teens, finding an adults-only restaurant is just the ticket. While many restaurants aren’t specifically no-kids-allowed, there’s a growing trend of restaurants advertising themselves as “adults-only,” promising a dining experience free of chicken fingers and the buzz of multiple screens designed to (hopefully) keep youngsters occupied while the adults attempt to have a conversation. I've mentioned at least one of them in here before, I'm sure. But it's not too difficult to just avoid any restaurant with the word "family" in its name or description. Spas I'm not really in their demographic, either. Lame list, after all. Let me tell you how I avoid kids: Travel alone. Airline upgrades (you can barely hear the wailing from up there in first class). Bars, especially dingy dive bars. Wineries. I'd say breweries, but many of them are family-friendly by design. Which doesn't stop me from going there, of course. Cigar lounges. For obvious reasons. Casinos. Occasionally, you'll see some harried parents rushing their kids through the casino aisle, but the draw of a casino isn't the gambling; it's that anyone under 21 is generally prohibited. Thing is, though, it's not like I build my life around avoiding kids. The misbehaving ones, sure, but that risk is minimized by going to less family-oriented places and/or going somewhere (like a beach, say) during school months. I dislike dense crowds in general, whether or not kids are involved. In short, this list sucks and was obviously put together on a short deadline. |
| The article I'm sharing today, from SciAm, is a bit esoteric. To me, it illustrates why common sense is neither, and why probability can get really weird. See Why Everyone Gets the Monty Hall Puzzle Wrong How to finally wrap your mind around the uniquely counterintuitive Monty Hall dilemma In high school statistics class, my teacher presented a probability problem that haunts me to this day. It was a puzzle inspired by the TV game show Let’s Make a Deal and named after its longtime host, the late Monty Hall. Several generations of people would never have heard of this guy if it weren't for this puzzle. And it's not like he came up with it; he's just part of the setup. As for the details of the puzzle itself, the article provides a fun illustration of it, but, in short: There are three doors in front of you. Behind one of the doors is a new car. Behind the other two doors are goats. The host invites you to pick a door, any door. The host throws open one of the doors you did not select, revealing a goat. Then the host gives you the option of switching your [initial selecton]. Let's leave aside for the moment the relative value of cars and goats. I don't want a new car. I'd be responsible for taxes and insurance on the thing, though I could maybe just sell it for money. But right now, I could really use a goat; you wouldn't believe the condition of my back yard. Most people think it doesn’t matter whether they stick with their original choice or switch to the other unopened door because the odds are 50–50—that it’s nothing more than a coin toss. Yeah, that's just common sense. (Which is why I hate "common sense.") But you should always switch doors. You win two thirds of the time if you switch and one third of the time if you stay. In other words, switching doors doubles your chance of winning. I have a quibble about "doubles your chance of winning:" If you buy two lottery tickets instead of one (assuming different numbers), that doubles your chance of winning from, I don't know, 1 in a billion to 1 in half a billion. Wow. But, okay, in this particular formulation, it's meaningful. This counterintuitive problem, first described in relation to the TV show in 1975, is taught in introductory math and statistics classes across the world. But it was widely popularized in 1990 in Parade magazine. After writer Marilyn vos Savant wrote about the puzzle in her Ask Marilyn column, she received an estimated 10,000 furious letters declaring the answer she gave was wrong, including 1,000 or so that were signed by people with a Ph.D. in their title. It's entirely possible to be smart and wrong. Even if you have a Ph.D. Even if your name is Marilyn vos Savant. How are the odds not 50–50? Since that fateful column, mathematicians, psychologists and philosophers have been trying to understand what makes this answer uniquely hard to grasp. They’ve found that some of the most common cognitive biases may be to blame, along with a core misunderstanding of how probability works. The article, of course, goes into the details, and I won't rehash them here. But I will point out another glaring problem we often have with probability, which is almost always illustrated for me when I'm at a blackjack table. Put as simply as I can, you have the choice in blackjack to stand (keep the cards you have) or hit (dealer gives you another card). The actual probabilities vary, of course, and there can be other complications, but in most cases, you want to either stand or hit, and one of those two has better odds of not losing the game. But a probability is just that; it's not a certainty. Even if it pays off most of the time (with "most" being anywhere from 50.1% to 99.9% or thereabouts), it won't pay off all the time. In blackjack, if your strategy fails, you just pony up another bet and play again (or give up in disgust and visit the buffet). But the Monty Hall problem is a one-off. You'll never again be faced with maybe getting a shiny new car or maybe getting a poison-ivy-eating goat, so you only get that one shot. And that one shot is, according to the math, about a 2/3 chance: better than 50-50, but in the end, you might still "lose." My point being that even the best strategies can fail, and sometimes, we have a problem confusing "probably" with "certainly." And that one data point doesn't mean anything; if you lost on an 80% probability win, that doesn't mean that the next one doesn't have an 80% probability. Which is why I quit giving probability lessons to other blackjack players. |
| There are complex questions with simple answers. I can't think of any right now, but I'm sure they exist. At the very least, the answer is "a large quantity of plastic explosive." But today's article, from Thrillist, is a simple question with a complex answer. How Fast Can Airplanes Go, Exactly? An aviation expert breaks down how fast the answer beyond "really, really fast." Science and human ingenuity have given an innumerable number of gifts to society: indoor plumbing, medicine, electricity. And most importantly, beer. Sure, it's also given us drone warfare, AI, and those weird Amazon Go stores—but let's focus on the positive. Those are positive. They generate positive cash flow for a small number of individuals, which is positive for them. One of the most exciting advancements of the modern era is the commercial airplane, which has made traveling around our massive planet in less that 180 days a true possibility. And you'll experience maximum discomfort while doing so. Also, editing is dead. Not only did they use "that" instead of "than," but the famous Verne novel was 80 days, not 180. Now, ISS astronauts circle the globe (for it is, indeed, a globe) twice in a bit over 180 minutes. Now that I've called that out, I'll probably commit a massive blunder in this entry, if I haven't already. The first flyers traveled at max speeds of 31 miles per hour, back in 1903. Now, 104 years later, planes have gotten a little faster. But just how fast? It turns out the answer isn’t so simple—it's a lot more complicated than getting a basic miles per hour answer. Even more complicated are the various units used to describe speed. Miles per hour, sure, but there's also km/s, knots, millimeters per day, etc. Thrillist spoke with Luciano Stanzione, who leads AviationExperts.org, an aviation consulting agency, to better understand how fast the modern commercial airplane is capable of flying. I'm of the considered opinion that everything on the internet now is either paywalled, or an ad. I didn't hit a paywall here, so I wonder what the ad is for. Certainly not an "aviation consulting agency," right? Possibly Thrillist itself, based on the blurb at the bottom of the page. “The airspeed is measured in KIAS (indicated air speed in knots) and in Mach speed (reference value to the speed of sound, used in higher altitudes)," Stanzione tells Thrillist. Oh, yeah, the Mach number, too. I imagine it'd be fractional for subsonic flights, but I don't recall any instance where it's like "this airplane has a top speed of Mach 0.8." At least, not until I read this article. But all these different units make for opaque comparisons, like if your car's efficiency is in miles per gallon and you're looking to compare it with one whose efficiency is listed in kilometers per liter. Or whatever. Speaking of complicated, the speed of sound changes with air density, which as I understand it is generally correlated with altitude. The speed that airplanes can reach in the air can’t be as easily determined by the same metrics in which we measure the speed of objects on the ground. So bear with Stanzione for this scientific breakdown for a second. There follows said "scientific breakdown," which I think is easy enough to follow, but I won't quote it here. Essentially, there's airspeed and groundspeed (no mention of whether the plane's carrying coconuts, though). How fast will airliners be able to go in the future? "That is impossible to determine but manufacturers are working again on high-speed jets, above sonic speeds," Stanzione says. "For a few decades now, improvements on speed have not been major. Let's see if new supersonic developments change that." All the science fiction I've read indicates that it won't matter, because we'll have suborbital ballistic flights, or teleportation. Given the constraints of physics and capitalism, I don't see either of those things happening anytime soon, if at all. Whatever the actual future of air travel is, though, at whatever speeds, you can bet they'll continue to find ways to make the process more degrading, uncomfortable, humiliating, and dehumanizing. |
| Today's peek into the past takes us back to September of 2018, and discusses a certain novel-writing month: "NaNomaterials" Ever since I first heard of NaNoWriMo, I've been conflicted. I'm not really conflicted anymore; I just don't care enough to put in the necessary work. I don't generally jump on bandwagons. If something becomes popular, I view it with a certain amount of distrust. What's worse is that there are things I like that are popular. And I absolutely hate it when people assume that I like it because it's popular. Yeah, I joined Facebook pretty early on, but I'm not active there anymore. I can't even get into my account long enough to close it. And the first time I heard about Twitter, someone told me that some guy had rigged his office chair to tweet every time he farted. I swore then I would never be a Twat (or whatever they call people who go to Twitter), and nothing I've heard about Twitter since then has convinced me it's gotten any classier. Clearly, it's only gotten worse since that entry. It's not Twitter anymore, for starters, but X. Or, as I call it, Xitter (where the X is pronounced like sh). A post on the site is called a Xit (also sh). And no, this isn't some hipster thing for me. I won't join that group, either. I was hipster before it was cool. Then I stopped. There follows a promotion for "October Novel Prep Challenge" [13+], which I still recommend to anyone planning to do NaNo (or just want some help and motivation in getting a story together).Anyway, I'm trying to decide whether to attempt it this year. Of the three I've completed, two of them are crying out for sequels (or, really, continuations to make them 100,000 word novels), and I've got a couple of ideas for new ones, though none are very compelling to me. Here it is six years later, and none of them have been edited yet. Of the three I've done, one's straight science fiction; one's contemporary fantasy; and the latest is, well, not a serious attempt at getting anything publishable done - it's science fiction erotica. Naturally, that's the one I most want to continue with, and it's the one least likely to get read. I spent so much effort world-building that last one that I've considered setting more serious fiction in that universe. "Considered" being the key word. The title of the entry was meant to be a pun on a science fiction trope, one which, like much SF, is entering consensus reality. So why start something new when I can't finish what I've already got going? On the other hand, if I can't finish what I've already got going, why not start something new? Not this year, though. I expect to be traveling during October, and recovering during November. |
| Among the destination priorities that I attempted to communicate to the travel agent were a few—just a few, mind you—places that don't involve fine fermented and/or distilled beverages. Most of them are in Belgium, because my original 2020 travel plans were for that country. The list includes the Hergé museum (you know, the Tintin creator) and, just to balance things out, the Torture Museum in Bruges.This probably freaked her out, but hey, that's like 40% of the point. It's not like that sort of thing is unknown in Europe. There was an exhibit of old torture devices in a castle I visited once in Wales. That one took the edge off the horror by incorporating the kind of humor one expects from the Welsh (see also: Doctor Who). You know... dark and dry, like a fine porter ale. When it comes to knowing how to inflict pain on other humans, humans excel at that shit. Oddly enough, it goes hand-in-clamp with empathy. The reason I say that is that in order to figure out what would cause other humans pain, one must have the imagination to put oneself in their (iron) shoes. Like, "Would that hurt? It would hurt me, so, yeah, I bet it would." As far as I can tell, this sort of thing happened (and is still happening) all over the world, but perhaps because of our own cultural bias, the penchant of medieval Europe for creative infliction of pain, often for the most minor transgressions (or none at all), is very well-known. Pretty much everyone has heard of "The Rack" and maybe the "Iron Maiden" (whether the dungeon furniture is a worse torture than the band named after it is still an open question). But it gets worse. Much, much worse. From the Atlas Obscura article I linked up there: It’s a wonderfully dark journey with tons of intriguing information. Many of the devices are equipped with mannequins displaying how they were used, which creates a lurid atmosphere. Look, if anyone asks (the travel agent, for example), I'll just be like, "I'm a writer." Hell, that's my excuse for all my questionable Google searches. The museum may be shocking to small children as there are wax figurines. So don't bring your small children. Do I have to think of everything around here? Best of all, if I go, I expect I'll be there in October. Perfect Halloween material. |
| Today in You're Doing It Wrong: Banking. Why You Need a Backup Bank Your bank can close your accounts, refuse to deposit checks, or do anything else at any time. You need a Plan B. Well, if that's the case, why use a bank at all? Oh, yeah, because if you keep cash around, eventually the cops will find out and seize it all through civil forfeiture. I know some people will be like "Bank? I don't hang on to money long enough to need a bank!" This article, then, is not aimed at you. Banks can refuse to let you open an account in the first place, refuse to accept a check for deposit at their discretion, and can close out your accounts and send you—and your money—packing any time they want, for a wide variety of reasons. I suppose that's still better than sending you packing while keeping the money. It’s a nightmarish scenario: You have a checking account with Bank A, where your paychecks are directly deposited and from which you pay all of your bills. One morning you wake up to a long list of bounced checks, failed debits, and late fees—and a note from Bank A that your account has been closed due to “suspicious activity,” or some other vague reason. One wonders just how probable this is. I've heard of it happening, but it's never happened to me or anyone around me that I know of. The article says it happens "all the time," but as you've probably figured out, there are other examples of hyperbole in the text. One of the links there directs to a news story that mentions, specifically, Bank of America. Thing is, if you're still banking with one of those huge national banks... why? The purpose of their existence is to screw you. A backup bank account can also act as quasi-emergency fund. A checking account at Bank B likely won’t be earning much interest, but it will also likely sit undisturbed, and since it’s not directly connected to your daily spending, you won’t be regularly tempted to dip into it. Also, I can't help but feel like the article is making a lot of assumptions: that you have a job, that you have spare money, etc. I think that to many people, the idea of having enough cash to bother with one bank, let alone two, is laughable. I suppose one can make the argument that to read the article, you have to be in a position to at least have internet access, which implies you're in a place where that's possible. Still, when I was poor, it might as well have been "How to Save Money on Yacht Maintenance." Don't get me wrong; I'm a big fan of having backup plans. It's like carrying a spare tire in your car. But that assumes you're in a position to own a car in the first place. |
| By coincidence, another Guardian link today. This one's trying to help with self-help. I always questioned the concept of self-help books, myself. Even putting aside the questionable credentials of some of the authors, you're not really doing self-help; you're looking to a book and an author that doesn't know you for advice. Which is fine if you're cooking and grab a recipe book. They do, however, sometimes self-help their authors to bigger bank accounts. I remember buying my first self-help book, which promised I could be healed of anything if only I banished my limiting beliefs. And then if you're not healed of whatever, it's your own fault because you didn't banish hard enough! Over the next 15 years, I bought hundreds of self-help books, courses and apps, and tracked down every self-styled personal improvement guru on TikTok and YouTube in the hope that they could teach me how to become happier, more confident and more lovable. Apparently, the concept of "to be happier, confident, and more lovable, don't waste money on self-help books, courses, and apps; and stay away from social media" never occurred to her. Of course, none of the people involved would have given her that advice. But I can. Look, I'm the last person who'd advise someone to "be yourself." But at some point, I realized that the way to be content with what you have is to be content with what you have. Some approaches were gentle and perhaps even obvious: “talk kindly to yourself, get enough sleep”. Others bordered on dangerous, whether it was encouraging me to spend more money than I could afford in order to “manifest” wealth or telling me to ignore my health problems to feel healthy. If, on the other hand, I was content with being a bigger asshole than I already am, I would totally be like, "You know the secret to happiness and eternal bliss? It's to give me all your money. Yes, all of it." Hey, it works for preachers. But even though I was following the guidance, nothing was helping me to feel better about myself and my brain scans still showed I was living with an incurable neurological disease. I couldn’t help but feel that not getting results was my own personal failing, rather than the industry’s with all its promises. Yeah, that's one of the biggest problems. I mentioned it up there, too: it's easy to fall into the trap of "obviously it's my fault because I didn't pray / manifest / wish / meditate enough." Which can lead to a whole spin/rinse cycle of doom. It took a deep conversation with a loved one to recognise that in trying to change my life, I was trying to change things that had happened to me and shaped who I was – often things that were out of my control. And yet, she had "a loved one." I think I finally understand some of the people who are like "be grateful for what you have." Instead of focusing on who I wanted to become, I had to quit self-help to learn and accept who I really was. Happiness isn't having what you want; it's wanting what you have. Since I quit my self-help crutch, I’ve realised that focusing all your energy on improving yourself can really suck the joy out of life. It makes happiness conditional: only when I have got to a certain stage can I feel contentment; only when I look that way can I be loved. So that's your ironic self-help advice for the day. For just $19.95 a month, I can self-help you even more! |
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