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 Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
| Timing is something I do not have a grip on. Being on time and having time are essential in our daily lives. Being present can change any situation. Time is something I have probably focused too much on. I have little to no sense of time. Things I remember are remembered as "the other day." I can't tell you if it was yesterday or three years ago. I have noticed lately that time and memory are disconnected. History is my problem. I do not remember events with a dated record; I just remember them as the other day, if I remember them at all. This causes a problem in writing. I have spent the last week intentionally and with great effort focused on a short story. I managed almost 11K words before losing the story. I don't know if I will post it yet. But it is the longest work to date. Before, I lost it in the crevasses of my brain. |
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Sending prayers for continued improvement and recovery 
