\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/notebook/heartburn
Please follow an 18+ rating.*
I can't resist one more:
Two brothers were visited each Christmas by their Granny. The older brother always received a nice sweater. The younger would get a nicely wrapped box with a Christmas card inside. The older felt some compassion for his sibling and would offer hope each year that this time he would get a nice present. So this year, he said, "I bet you get something nice gift from her this year."
The younger one said, "I bet I get another card."
So Granny came and had two gaily wrapped packages. The older brother had a nice pullover sweater. The younger one also had a sweater!
"See, I told you," said the elder. The younger one answered, "The important thing is I won the bet."
"How?"
"I got a cardigan."
Ok today's Christmas joke. Mrs. Claus keeps track of the weather for Santa. Last year, he asked, "How does it look for tonight, Honey?"
She looked out the window, then said, "I see rain, dear."
  •   1 comment
For this joke ... a double eye roll and a laugh

*Rolleyes* *Rolleyes* *Laugh*
Why should you never eat Christmas decorations?

You'll get tinselitis.
  •   2 comments
JACE  Author Icon
I just love a good pun.
JACE Author Icon - Me too! I have a ton of puns. If it weren't nearly 2 a m. I could probably think of one. *Frown*
Any body else get tangerines and nuts in their Christmas stockings as a child?
  •   5 comments
Tangerine, one unshelled walnut, and a penny. Oh, also a candy cane always hanging inside the top.
I got apples, oranges, and English walnuts in my stockings when I was growing up thinking about growing up. I think that's why I'm half lame to this day.
A navel orange was always in the toe of our stockings. My parents always put out a dish of mixed nuts in the shell with a nut cracker for a snack around the holidays, although they weren't part of the contents of the stocking.
Happy Veterans' Day to all you veterans, and spouses of veterans. Thanks for your sacrifice and service.
I love to watch birds. There is a downside. A birdbath on the porch or patio means they're going to use your porch as a bathroom. Yesterday, as I sat in my chair I could see birds darting in and out of my cedar tree through the window of the next room. I walked over out of curiosity to see why there were so many. This tree is loaded with blue seeds (blue cedar). There were thousands of birds below and on the hill between my house and the neighbor's organic garden. I didn't go out and look. Today, I went out with the leaf blower to discover that a thousand birds had gone potty on the furniture, the kids' bikes, and the patio slates. After blowing the loose stuff, I got out the hose to rinse the furniture and bikes before anyone touched it. I didn't sweep, but at least the water moved the debris. I took my shoes off on the entry and brushed before taking into the house to clean more. At the moment I saw them, I felt like I was in the middle of a Hitchcock movie. Now, a day later, I'm grossed out.
  •   2 comments
Enjoy the blessing of the birds! 🐦
I have a nightly pair of owls on a branch that overhangs a part of my deck. It's messy, but I love listening to them.
I was debating whether to go trick or treating this year. Last year, all I got was a rock!
Was it a gold nugget? Rocks rock.
request or review expiring 7:am on 17th
In this time of strife and emotional turmoil, we must stop pointing fingers and judging others. Who are we to decide that one life is worth more than another? It may sound trite: We must practice peace in the face of violence, demonstrate love where where is hate. Not in some grandiose gesture, but in our everyday lives, in the workplace, in our homes, even here on this website. Our goals should include being peacemakers.
  •   1 comment
You're as naive as me!*Delight* Not all hope seems lost for the US.*Hug1**Smile**Hug2*
Happy Independence Day!!
Fpr trivia lovers: The first fireworks came one year after the ratification of the Declaration, on July 4, 1777. It wasn't a National Holiday until Congress declared it so in 1870, after the Civil Was was over.
So how do you plan to celebrate Independence Day?
My city and county are doing nothing. A nearby community is celebrating Sat. June 30 with a parade and fireworks, outdoor music. A small town nearby on the James River will actually observe the 4th with a 9 am parade, farmers markets, flea markets. That night I plan to go to my niece's farm for a cookout and fireworks with the children.
  •   2 comments
It's my birthday, so I have a GF cake and BBQ.
It's a Thursday.

Meh.

I wonder if USians realise it is a US only celebration? Judging by the vitriol I gave received in the past, and people asking why we here don't celebrate it as they gave done since social media became a thing, the answer could be, "No."
I am looking forward to seeing the strawberry moon on Friday. I've never noticed one before.
  •   4 comments
Full moons are always cool, but I think the strawberry part is just a name to indicate that it happens in June since June is linked to strawberries.
🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author Icon - I'm sure; but I like my idea better! I wonder whether there's a gif with a moon over a strawberry-banana sundae?
Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon - It is a very a-peeling idea, Kare! Sounds like a challenge for those who like to play with those AI apps.
I have heard of falling flat on my face. Today, while puttering in the back yard and trying to get away from a bee, I fell flat and hard on my cheek bone. The bee got me while I was down and crying like a baby. Tonight I have deep purple eye, a cut eyelid and a wounded ego.
  •   2 comments
I've done that but I would sprain my ankles sometimes especially when I try to get away from a bee and Dottie would go after my shoelaces in the meantime. I hope you get better soon.
Oh man, that's harsh. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

I remember when I lived up in the mountains, I slipped on the ice and fell flat on my back. It knocked the breath out of me. My Border Collie came over and laid down on my chest, all 45 pounds of her. It didn't help me regain my breath but there wasn't much I could do about it at the time.
Happy belated birthday!

I hope you enjoyed your special day!

*HeartP* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatR* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *CupcakeV* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatG* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *HeartP*
*Pumpkin2* *Quill* *Music1* Happy Birthday, Pumpkin! *Music2* *Quill* *Pumpkin2*
*HeartG* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatB* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *CupcakeB* *ConfettiB* *Bigsmile* *ConfettiO* *PartyhatP* *ConfettiP* *HeartY* *ConfettiB* *HeartG*
* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account Options screen.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/notebook/heartburn