Since I don't have much money and have to be a free account. (Pease don't pay for me people I'm not active enough and I don't want to waste your money.) I'm going to be switching up what I'm doing. So first this is coming about after I tired to make a new item. Come to find out as a free account I can only post ten items at a time. So with that in mind and with how complex my alien race story is. I'm going to work on a more generic fantasy story for now. I still plan to have a costume race be the protagonist but this will be far easer then I would have to do with creating a new ecosystem from scratch. Lastly I am going to be deleting all my current material after copping it to a google doc first of course as I don't want to lose my work. Next I'll be posting the new work as I work on it and once I get up to chapter ten I will start deleting the old ones as new ones are posted.
Memberships can be paid for with gift points. Gift points can be saved up for by doing reviews of 250 characters or more, note not words. If you review it can also have the benefit of encouraging people to come check out your Port and review you. It can also get you fans. Reviewing is one of the easiest ways of getting the most out of the site.
I'm thinking of also writing some short one shot stories for now as well. I still plan to work on my novel. I feel by writing shorts and my poems. I will improve my over all writing skills and ability. So that I can write the story I am aiming to write. As well as pull in the audience I am looking for.
Well I'm back for how long who knows. I love this community and I want to grow as a writer but life is hectic and I will always prioritize that over all else. If I remember about this site I will come back and try to work on my story some more be for life take the rains again. That said if all goes well my life should be calming down in a year or two. Fore now while I am back my life is not stable enough to work on my story. For now in its place I will work on poetry for my girl. This way at least I will get writing experience and I will also read what other people are writing. Stay safe and stay healthy in these hard times. Remember to have fun and the real world is a chaotic mess that can make both good out comes and bad.
Okay so this next scene I’m trying to get down has me a bit stumped. I all ready have a lot of jargon that took me a lot of time to deliver correctly, in a way for my target demographic to read with out a problem. Now that I’m dealing with a bit of human tech getting the scene set up with interacting with the biotech is a bit hard for me. So with that said I’m taking a small break to do a wrighting exorcise. To read the books I like and brake them down in to there components to see how somthing is done, forshowed, and so forth. I’m a week late on getting this update out and I still can’t wrap my head around it with out being heavy in the jargon and tell instead of show element where this scene would do best in show don’t tell.
Alrighty so I received an email telling me how to make the image item. So I will now be putting out all of the concept art. With that said the one for Takkar "IS A MAGOR SPOILER" as he is not supposed to be explained till after the mid point in the book at the earliest. The plain to finally give what Takkar is, is originally planed for the end of this book but as I write and rewrite it might happen before that. Keep in mind these are concepts and not the final. I like the style of light novels having a few pictures through out he book. I plain to do the same.
Okay I was going to hold off on edits from now to my girl friends arrival. How ever To do stuff when I need a brake from cleaning I will be working on the story. Lastly I found more of my concept art. I will try to figger out how to post it on this site but I might need to embed a link to else where instead. I should have a good update in like four to five days from now. There will be some more fine tuning to remove the run on sentences and the first pass to next scene in the chapter.
I found an artist for my story to have a few of the scenes will have illustrations starting with the opening scene to give a base line. I don't know how long it will take to get it but I hope you guys will be looking forwarded to it. I'll have mention of it in text of where the picture would be placed to look at the item.
alrighty well with more and more people telling my the gargon is a problem and the like (that world needs it) sance I'm a new writer I think I'll work short stories first to work up expiance and maybe some day i can come back to this story and write it in a way readers can enjoy well still keeping the core of the world in tact if i cant well then this story will for ever live on in my head this wont stop me from righting though.
It might help to do some housekeeping on your items: spelling, grammar, tense, and presentation could all do with a bit more work. That should make it easier to get feedback. For example: I'm not sure whether "tori" is supposed to be a torii gate or a new word.
I also recommend going through the text and highlighting every word which is either not english or is new jargon. You don't want the jargon to be too dense, and you need to show what your new words mean.
Even though writing short stories and long works have different challenges and technicalities, I would whole-heartedly recommend starting at the short story level.
This will give you the advantage of working out how to world build on a smaller scale, to work on characters, to develop a writing style.
In a WdC note, a short story is more likely to get views, and that will give you the feedback you need. Looking through your port, your writing basics need work - grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, verbs, etc. - and in a short story it will make it easier for some-one to give you that advice.
You clearly have ideas and enthusiasm, which is great; now it's time to give these ideas the best chance they have to reach a wider audience and engage them.
Thanks Tileira and thanks Penguin. As for a problem I can see me needing work on with the short stories is that I dive in to the world building rabbit hole so I hope it teaches me how to diel it back. I am now planning to work on short stories well I also move this one forward though at a slower pace then I planed.
last update for today I have a chunk of my new first chapter done looking for some feed back be for I make it private again to work on some more. I'm hopping this going to give a better explanation as to what the race is and a better delivery of some of the terminologies that will be used. I suck ad descriptions more then I do spelling. But I am liking having it be a bit mysterious as to what things look like and the stuff and piecemealing the descriptions where they apply to confirm or illuminate what things looks like for the readers as i think if I do it right it can be part of the draw to keep reading. At least for me I like Si-Fi with new alien races being piecemealed to us in descriptions as I find my self reading more to find out what they look like.
I woke up this morning to find some one who does not want me to know who sent me a three month gift of member ship. Thank you this has maid me happy enough to cry happy tears. I hope to not let you down and not to waste this lovely gift you have given me.
I'm back and my life has turned around from the depensation I was in. In my absence I learned a lot and fleshed out my alien race and world. One big difference you guys will see is there is no longer any human tech at all. I am going to try to keep the personalities the same for the most part and where they apply. With that said they are no longer similar in culture to us so they might not seem like the same people any more. How ever this is what I was aiming for from the start and now that its fleshed out I'll do my best to not disappoint you guys. I want honest and blunt constructive criticism as that will help me fine toon to the demographic I'm aiming for. That democratic are Si-Fi enthusiasts and what I like to call Lore junkies.
I call my self a lore junkie and what is that you might ask well its some one that likes to deep dive in to the world they are interacting with in the media that they are consuming where that be a movie, video game, board game, story, or even a role playing game from word of mouth like in dnd (ya i know I did not brake this up in to sentences but meh this one is a bit hard for me to brake up so.)
With all of that said for at least the first half of the first book I'm going to try and have it be light on the terminology (which will be difficult with a word I built up from the scratch). if you want to have a spoiler in to what the tech is like for them look up because since what symbote is venom. When he talks about all the kinds there are you know know how the eco system works :P
There is no link yet as I have not started to rewrite yet I got back on to the site late last night and just wanted to let people know I'm back and will be starting back up today.
I am puting my wrighing on hould because to day i realised i need to put in more descripve words and desribe the sroundings better then i have (witch is harldy at all) and to do so i need the help of an artist that i can meat face to face so till then my work is on hold (im going to see if my sister can help in this aspeckt for she is a realy good artist.) the reasion i need an artist help is be cause how my brain works in the fact that i cant see what it is and now if its right till i see the real deal (in other words drwan out in the case of imagination) so till i hear back from my sis (and she accepts) or i get some one elts to help on there free time im kinda stuck in the mud with my work just a heads up that the updats end to day even tho they kinda ended for now any way but i was going to try to work on the desription tomarow but i realise my ishuw with it and amy trying to get help to fix the problem so i can still work hope this does not make u look down on me more so.
For any one that visits my note book.
Im a pettey laid back auther to most of the other authers on this site so my stories my take a long time for updates and ma also be quick (but more ofen it will be a wail after posting it that i will up date it for im more besie doing other things but I whant to be a laid back auther and not to became popular so i gess it works out for me in the long run and im sorry if u like what you see and i dont have the full books yet or there is stuff missing (im tarible when it comes to descibing stuff but i whant to wright stuf that would intreast me so im not going to take request for subjects and i will right at my own pase) but don't worry i will try to come up with updates when i can and if im not doing sumthing elts that takes up more of my time then my writers thoughts.
* Content and content ratings in this area are monitored solely by this member. Page owners have the ability to remove posts and/or block posters who do not follow the content rating or who post unwanted content. In addition, each member can block/ignore another member using the Block/Ignore Members" link on the Account
Options screen.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/notebook/vallenshield
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.15 seconds at 11:19pm on Feb 26, 2026 via server WEBX1.
Reply
un: 
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Community Feed
Puzzle Hub
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
