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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alishaplays
Review Requests: OFF
28 Public Reviews Given
29 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
When it comes to reviewing, I'm not good, but I'll try my best. I like reviewing items that are connected to fictional life and to what I feel. I'm genuine about my view of the stories I review. I won't do grammar unless it really sticks out.
I'm good at...
Reading Nonsense, Suspense/Thriller, and non-experienced works/stories. Being honest when it comes to reviewing.
Favorite Genres
Experience, Suspense/Thriller, Horror, Dark, Death, Nonsense, Nature, Mysterious.
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica, Too much romance, Historical
Favorite Item Types
Flash Fiction, Short Poems, Philosophy
Least Favorite Item Types
Long Poems, Poetry with too much love.
I will not review...
Work/Stories over 2,000 words.
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Aside that your story needs a bit of proofreading, this made me laugh and is relatable. I live with three people and one bathroom, and there's always that one person taking hour long showers, and if it's not the one person, it's the chores that I am late to, and if it's not the chores, it is the low blood sugar, and so forth. I love that there's always a bit of chaos in life and this story portrays it. I think this can all be resolved with a simple sign that says, "Out of order". *BigSmile*
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Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really love the build of this challenge. I see that this hasn't been opened for years. I wish I could have joined, providing a contribution to this contest. The given titles give me creative inspiration to craft a poem. Update me when a new poetic challenge arrises. :>
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Review of rebel yell  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Dear Writer,

I want you to know that I appreciate your effort in writing, but your writing has many errors that require revision. If you must know, you have multiple grammatical errors like typos, missing punctuation, etc. As someone who has knowledge in proofreading, reading your work scares me, as it is quite unbearable to read your work. I also suggest changing the format of your writing to suit your readers eyes, especially with your dialogue. I will understand if this was a mistake where you accidentally pressed publish instead of save draft.

Sincerely,

Alisha P.
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Review of The Bank Group  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I donate 10,000 gps through this review, hoping this helps your creations and your support towards other creations grow like the fruit of a tree. :>
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5
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I find it informative, inspiring, and full of wisdom. It tells me that no matter what, I should fight hard cause the wings are supporting me and everything/everyone around me. I love the spiritual/Religious elements of this hopeful story. I wish I had shorter versions of this in fortune cookies, messages of fortune cookies that fortell and motivate my life are lovely, and make me smile when all feels lost. Thank you for your beautiful words.:>
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Review of To My Mother  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Dreamweaver Bar & Grill  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is beautiful and reminds me of the fuzzy and happy moments with my family. It reminds me that life doesn't last forever and you should hold on to what you can. Without Memories, the poem would be written differently. As much as grammar shouldn't matter within a poem, some commas are needed in places if you include punctuation in your poem.

How I would write it:

Memories of your luminous smile
and your warm, loving embrace always brings a smile to my face.

Mother, I miss your humble joy when one of your grandchildren thanked you for a birthday or Christmas toy.

I miss your guiding hands and spirit as we walked faith's road together, supporting each other in all kinds of weather.

You devoted the last years of your life to the artist pursuit of poetry, which you're still doing in the afterlife.

I miss the way you dried my tears and the way you calmed my fears, I look forward to meeting you in paradise.

If you decide to ignore my advice, that's okay as a poem doesn't really matter about grammar mistakes, it matters most about what is on the poets mind.







*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Come back  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
You'll always wait and the person will never come because they are trapped on an island of their own or they don't care about who they hurt. Sometimes the question may also be if they are real or are they a image of the mind, manifested by emotions, personality, and desire? Maybe they'll show up and I will be the person in the wrong. The poem takes me through many holes with different endings. There is the strong feelings of fear, doubt, and love that makes this poem amazing. It reminds me of all the times I go to a store and find myself indecisive of which brand of chocolate to choose even though they taste the same. The endings are similar to buying chocolate because no matter what, you'll still love, doubt, and fear. You'll always be disappointed when he doesn't come and feel lost because you're alone, finding something that makes you feel complete, but is possibly nonexistent. If he does show up, you'll be relieved, but disappointed that he didn't come sooner, and you'll wonder how your life story is written next. I wish there is another poem that meets with the story, I wonder how it will end. Thank you for your poem and keep writing! *Smile*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Candy Love Prt 2  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Natty Author IconMail Icon--

I love how you use such sweet details to write the letter. I feel the romance as the writer of the letter saves her/his lover's life and promises to stay by their side. When I read this, I hear the song, Forever by Axel Johansson  Open in new Window., in my head. The letter also makes me hungry as I keep reading about such delicious sweets. There are some mistakes you should consider editing.


You should get rid of the "me" before the word "Met" in the first sentence. You mean "spewed" instead of "sprewed"? There should be a comma after the word "day" in the sentence "Since that day I will never leave your side, I am bound to you and our adventures." In the sentence, "I swang wildly knocking them down deep into the sugar pit." there should be a comma after the word "wildly". "your self" is best read as "yourself". In the sentence, "I only had a lollypop stick for a weapon but nothing will ever make me lose you my pear drop." there should be a comma before the word "but". In the sentence, "When we reached the bottom you flung yourself into my arms and we lovingly kissed under the laffy taffy trees." there should be a comma after the word "bottom and a comma before the word "and". In the sentence, "My sweet little dolly mix." The period should be a comma. In the sentence, "As the sun sets and I cuddle with you I know what real love feels like." There should be a comma after the word "you".

These are my suggestions upon edits. You can use or ignore any of them if you'd like.

Thank you for letting me review your lovely letter! *Smile*



-Alisha P.-


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Review of My Cup of Tea.  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
anonymous Author IconMail Icon--

This sounds like a very delicious kind of tea. I'm not British, but I love tea. I like the way the tea brings you into a dream where you're somewhere far away and every cup is your every escape.


-Alisha P.-


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Review of 2016 poems  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Before you read...
I'm not the best at reviewing, so I hope it's okay
Please let me know if there's anything I could work on when it comes to writing reviews

Thank You!*Smile*


What I liked: I loved the imagery and the tone in this poem. I like the connection to life and love. I also like how the poem changes from each season, with words/lines that intrigue me.

What could improve: Please capitalize all "i"'s that represent yourself. Every "I'm"'s that starts the sentence should have a Captial I. There are more grammar issues as well.

In the 2nd paragraph, there should be a comma after the word "streaks".

In the 4th paragraph, you should Capitalize the "W' in the first we.

In the sentence, "you are the gloss." Capitalize the "Y".

In the paragraph of that sentence, put a comma after "1:20".

In the last paragraph, remove the comma in the word "it's".


Overall: I loved this poem. It interested me and I liked its rhythm. This poem kind of reminds me of memories and time. Those two things make my dreams and nightmares. Thank you for showing this poem to me and Keep writing! *Smile*



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Review of Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Before you read...
I'm not the best at reviewing, so I hope it's okay
Please let me know if there's anything I could work on when it comes to writing reviews

Thank You!*Smile*


What I liked: I love that this poem is talking about a cute cat that warms the heart of many others that read this poem. My neighbor owns three cats and my grandma owns four cats. I see those cats every day so I can relate to this poem. Every time I read this, it makes me say "AWWW" and makes me want to cuddle with cats. Is Pop the name? Thank you for your story and Write More*Smile*!
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Review of Cozy Spot  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Warning
I'm not the best at reviewing, so I hope it's okay
Please let me know if there's anything I could work on when it comes to writing reviews

Thank You!*Smile*


What I *HeartP*: I liked how you've given the dog a voice that has an adorable and impatiently excited tone. I liked that I could be inside this dog's head. I can imagine him wagging his tail, barking in excitement, and jumping up with a lot of energy. I can also imagine his adorable happy face. This reminds me of my aunt's dogs. One of them is named Pugsley and he goes crazy over furniture and outdoors. One of them was named Sadey and he was good-natured, liked the outdoors, and was energetic. Thank you for your story, Keep Writing!





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Review of STUPID  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Warning: I'm still a newbie when it comes to reviews, so I'm sorry if it's terrible

This review is not meant to be offensive and is only written to be supportive.
If you think it's offensive, tell me what I can improve on, and I'll try to learn from it.


My Opinion: Everyone makes mistakes as no one's perfect, and sometimes we can learn from our mistakes. Life is always unexpected. I hope someday things will turn up differently. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Sometimes I feel like Hulk too, but I think about other things to do when I'm in Hulk mood, like talking to a stress ball about my bad day, then squishing it, then saying sorry to it😐.

Everyone's stupid at least once in their lifetime. You're not alone.*Smile*

 Into the light Open in new Window. (E)
How one goes from pain to happiness, from wrong to right. Life does wonders.
#2231822 by Amber Author IconMail Icon




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Review of Christmas day  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Warning: I'm still a newbie when it comes to reviews, so I'm sorry if it's not perfect.

This review is not meant to be offensive and is only written to be supportive.
If you think it's offensive, tell me what I can improve on, and I'll try to learn from it.




What I liked: I love how this story starts, it gives me warm Christmasy feelings.


What could be improved: There are still some mistakes.

In the sentence, "It was the night before Christmas,Everyone was sound asleep no one to be heard."
The comma should be a period and there should be a comma before the word "no".

In the sentence, "But a jolly jingle woke many people up and they all looked outside their windows and see the jolly Christmas man flying through the sky in a sled with rain dears"
There should be a comma after the word "people" and before the word "and". The word "rain dears" is supposed to be spelled "reindeers" I loved the word "rain dears" though.

Also after each period, you must add a space before you start a new sentence.


Overall: I love this story especially in this time of season. This story reminds me of every Christmas I ever had and makes me know that even through these difficult times, Christmas will always be joyful.*Smile* Continue Writing!

Also, I don't know if this story is completed or not.
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Review of Spinning Top  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Warning: I'm still a newbie when it comes to reviews, so don't expect perfection.

This review is not meant to be offensive and is only written to be supportive.
If you think it's offensive, tell me what I can improve on and I'll try to learn from it.

With that out of the way let's begin.



What I liked: I loved the imagery in this story, the flashback of the narrator that's connected to the spinning top, the personification of the great clock, and the anxious tone of the narrator as he tries to touch the top.


What could be improved: Some Grammar, nothing more.

In the sentence, "In this early hour the bright rays of morning rose far away across the ocean on another continent." There should be a comma after the word "hour".


In the sentence, "Hours seemed to pass before it abruptly slowed, teetered for a moment, fell and rolled to a stop, resting innocently on its side." There should be a comma before the word "and".


In the sentence, "After multiple attempts I gave up, and settled back down into the soft, warm bed sheets, longing for a sleep that would not come." The comma after the word "up" should actually be at the end of the word "attempts".


Overall: It's a brilliant story that intrigues me and makes me wonder who is the narrator and who's spinning the top? I liked how you used the spinning top from inception as the image as this story reminds me of one of my own dreams. This is one of my favorite stories I've come by far to read. I can't wait to read more of your stories as you continue writing.



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Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
No problem *Smile*. I'm not a good reviewer, but I love your story
 
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An Ebony Confectionary  Open in new Window. (E)
A memory of two friends.
#2216601 by MirandaCookies IS IN COLLEGE Author IconMail Icon
. This seems like a good memory. It reminds me of when I wake up early, but instead of just leaves, a tree dances with the wind. I can imagine the Teddy's sadness as it smells deliciousness, but can't move or eat. Is there a specific recipe for the cake, or is it a secret?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review of Into the light  Open in new Window.
Review by Alisha P. β˜• Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
To be honest, I'm not good when it comes to writing reviews, but I can't ignore this poem. When I read it, I imagined that the person is walking in the dark, with no good appeals, with no hope. Until one day, the sun shines, the person sees a smile, and they're given another chance. Then, I imagined the people who've been in the dark but gave up searching for the light. This poem makes me cry and wonder... What if it was the other way around?
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