You left me hanging, wanting more. Why did he leave her like that? lol It got my attention and I was pulled into the story. I hope you continue because I want to hear more, especially why he left her after a kiss like that.
The only downside would be how some of the words are worded. Example, "but yet at the same time I almost felt deaf." Maybe this would be better - but yet at the same time I felt almost deaf.
Just my opinion. You want to words to flow easily.
This totally spoke to me. I can relate being a Mom & a Grandma and wanting to share ourselves with our children now. I have 4 children and we speak constantly about everything. They ask me questions about my childhood, my dreams and others in the family. Communication brings a closeness that is so special.
My own mother, who I love dearly, has never truly opened up about her life. Its sad for me because I want to know her more but she stays shut. I would never do that to my kids.
The people we let in our lives, shape us and form us to who we are now. When they pass, they leave a part of them behind which makes us still feel close to them.
Wonderful words. I felt your pain of loss but also your joy of the memories.
I understand this as a young woman who does not have the strength or self-confidence to break a pattern which she had been living. It seems no one around her really knows her. She keeps her feelings inside because she thinks nobody will acknowledge.
She doesn't know how to let the past go. She is sad & lonely.
Truly a poem full of depth. Very lovely yet full of sadness and hopelessness.
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