I really enjoyed your piece. Particularly like the third line about desire and motivation escaping the container. Great visual reference.
Also relate to the second last line being as I am a newbie writer myself and I do have to push myself to keep going, keep trying and chasing those end results.
Love this Tee. I feel exactly the same. I’ve only been here a short time myself but have felt so welcome and supported already.
You have been one of those who have just been amazing to me and I thank you so very much for all of your support and encouragement.
Beautifully written. I know a review should be more than those 2 words, but honestly, I can't think of anything other to say. I feel those two words say enough. Well done.
I very much enjoyed this. I too wrote a short letter to myself from the future to my ten year old self, and while I did get some great feedback I found it difficult to write, not emotionally just writing a letter to myself.
I really liked how you did this. Yours is more like a story than mine was. Nice work.
I really enjoyed reading this. I myself have been having a lot of reflective thoughts about my parents when I was growing up and this sits so well. Of course they never have all the answers, and yet as a child we sure do think and believe they do. That must be a heavy burden to bare at times.
This was a nice simple read but with a deep meaning under the surface. Well written. Hope you write more.
What a fun story, a delightful read that keeps the reader engaged with the fun simplicity of the story.
Love the Nude Snow White and the innocence of childhood. Nicely written, no errors that I could see. Just a great little tale and beauty of a family being able to spend the day together.
Nicely written. I feel most people would understand the sentiment and emotion of your poem. Simply written but gets the story across very well. I love the last paragraph that you rise from places that once buried you and yes wearing those medals should make us feel proud when we've come back from the brink of hell.
An interesting read, well written, keeps the reader engaged, nice level of suspense and engagement between the characters. Nice level of description, not too over the top but enough to clearly have the reader understand the buck's different appearance and their communication.
This is not overly my genre that I usually read but enjoyed this entry.
Nicely written poem filled with emotion. I especially like the last verse, I think a lot of people can relate.
It clearly comes across from a pain endured and the healing process beginning.
Hope to see more of your work.
Wow!! This story has bought back so many memories in the way you described the cool group, wearing the uniform as short as you can get away with, being way down the back so you could sneak a ciggie on lunch break. It was like being back in high school in a flash.
I've been recently remembering a friend of mine, she was quite strange really, her mother and father were strange and her upbringing quite different and heavily controlled. She used to get bullied relentlessly and at times I would be caught in the crossfire simply because I hung around with her.
To be honest, I'm surprised she didn't kill herself from it all. But I am pleased to say, in my day at school suicide did not really exist. I only ever remember one girl doing it. She threw herself in front of a train. It was horrible, but apart from that, suicide was not a thing, thank goodness.
Today there is just way too much of it and personally social media is to blame and lack of the good old traditional family time spend together and values. So very different.
Great read, glad I pressed Read and Review tonight.
Me again. I really love how simple your stories are to read but always hold such depth and bring out emotion, making the reader feel for both the mother who can see the tragedy unfold and the uncle knowing what he felt was right, both suffering loss but in a different way.
You don't always need a lot of fancy descriptive words to tell a story and I find sometimes people get too drawn into that style of writing and although cleverly worded, sometimes takes away from what the writer is really trying to convey.
Loved this short tale. Really well written. Simple but powerful in it's description. I loved how you connected an old house aging away to humans as well. So neatly tied together and so true. I often look at old dilapitated houses and wonder what they think and how they feel if they could. What stories they could tell.
I really enjoyed reading your poem. It is raw emotion on the page. Simple to read but not simple in the feelings shared. I love poetry that rhymes as well and you did this beautifully. Very nicely written.
I did read your work here and found it quite interesting and well written. However it is a wall of words and I must admit when i opened it I nearly closed it straight away due to how it is presented here.
You need spacing between your paragraphs to break it all up and I would suggest seeing as it is quite a lengthy piece to make the text itself a bit bigger as well. This looks very overwhelming to read and may cost you reads and reviews.
Welcome to the newbies club. I am one myself and through this great group of people learning quite quickly. So stick around and keep writing.
I really enjoyed reading this. It was well written, well paced, simple with no need for overly descriptive words. This is a story that in its simplicity speaks volumes about life for this particular person during those times. It keeps the reader engaged without being over the top, which makes you want to keep reading more.
I love this!! Thank you for writing and sharing it. I love the Moon goddess as well. She is the mother of all and bathing under her soft light is something I enjoy and should do more. I try to give thanks to her regularly even if it is just a quick one.
I do not connect with her as much as I used to and I really need to get back to that as i was so much more peaceful and grounded when i did.
This is very nicely written and evokes emotion in the reader and is thought provoking as well.
What a lovely, thought provoking piece. Well written and simple for the reader to follow, but inciting emotion along with it. No technical errors that I can see. Just a lovely written poem. Hope to read more.
Nicely written poem. Easy for the reader to read and follow. Nice descriptive lines such as:
The ledger of the day, unspooled and read. You can clearly envision what you have written here and throughout.
I feel you have achieved what you set out to in your reflections. A lovely piece, not over done, but fragile and brings about a peace when I was reading it. You drew the reader into the time and space you created and with it the serenity you were aiming to achieve.
Welcome! I am a newbie writer here as well. New to writing full stop.
Thank you for sharing your piece.
Me thinks you are not a newbie writer. This is beautiful piece. It weaves a tale of love lost, happy days and sad. Must admit I screwed up my nose about the taste of sour thrush lol, but that is what writing is all about, creating reactions, pushing the reader to feel. And you have done this very nicely right here.
Congratulations. I too am a newbie to writing but certainly don't write like this yet. Look forward to seeing more of your work.
Loved this!! What a great read. Nice and easy, flows well, love the rhyme throughout, no errors that I could see and a powerful message really for those who wish to see it.
Absolutely love this. What a strong, emotional piece. I have been on a similar journey in many ways as I believe most people are. The feeling of self loathing, not being good enough etc is a work in progress still for me, but one which I feel I am winning a little more with time instead of losing.
So nicely written, it just flows and embraces you with the strength in the story.
Amare
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