You have written this poem succintly yet you have been able to capture the essence of the emotion.Your poem talks about how, many times in life we have to wage a fierce battle with problems both internal and external and even when our mind is churning with tension and burdens we have to put up a brave face.We all have to go through this at some point of time.
But then we all live with the same hope that
'Hopefully all this heartache and pain will soon be through.'
This is just a suggestion, you need not follow it.
'Because instead of my eyes my heart is crying'
How does this sound?-
'Because it's not my eyes but my heart that is crying'
I really enjoyed reading your song 'Shine'.It talks about how sometimes we willingly submit ourselves to influences to be moulded into somebody else.And how our soul aches to be set free when we feel cloistered in that 'perfect portrait'.In short it talks about absolute freedom of self.
It has some beautiful lines like-
'I’ll do everything I can to make you proud
I hope you know
But sometimes, you need
To let me go
It doesn’t matter how
It doesn’t matter when or why
Cause all that matters now
Is that I’m going to fly...fly, fly away'
I enjoyed
reading 'Tranquility' 'cause it's written in such a way that it enables you to visualise and feel the stars, sky- the nature.
Your poem talks about the subtle yet deep relationship every human being shares with the nature and how the nature is the best medicine to all material tensions and restlessness.An great poem with amzing feel!
*flowe4*My favorite lines-
'The wind whistles through the trees.
Its sound is like a gentle song, calming a restless soul.
I close my eyes, and listen to the soft melody.
It makes my soul feel at peace.'
Hi Lizzy! Your poem 'My Dad' is just amazing.This poem stands true for any daughter in this world who loves her father.Eventhough we live in diferent parts of world, emotions like these are something we all share.Keep writing, looking forward to read more of your works.
Amrita
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