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1
1
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Such a beautiful story, and so full of truth. There are many times where people's acts have surprised me as well. Wishing you the best this holiday season. *Heart*
2
2
Review of Heaven- A Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Heaven, a place where I will stand","
"like" a mighty tall tree in that land.
Heaven, a place where I will see my God","
and life won't seem so odd.
Heaven, a place where I will receive
a brand new bod";"
"one" just like my God's."


Emotion: There is a feeling and sense of hope in this poem. Nice work! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: I have fixed the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! The stanza I chose in the imagery category really touched me. Having a disability is a difficult thing to live with, as many people know. There are times when I too wish I had a different body.

However, my personal belief is that God made us all in His image. He loves us for who we are, and He made us the way He made us for a reason. I know life does not seem fair at times, but every one of us are special in His eyes. I pray one day you will see, that you are loved and blessed. My prayers go out to you and your family.

The poem you wrote was beautiful. I found the sentiment to be lovely, and I truly hope that Heaven is the way you described it to be. You know, many people do not think about the "beyond." It took a lot of faith and courage for you to write this poem. Beautiful work, and I hope to see more poems from you in the future! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
3
3
Review of Summer Solstice  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences in this poem:

"Sun stands still!
Culmination
of spring’s sweet desire;
inauguration
of the season of fulfillment."


Emotion: This poem portrays the rise and fall of civilzations; from happiness to sadness, and everything in between.

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! The stanza I chose in the imagery category was my favorite. I felt this poem expressed much which needed to be said. History does repeat itself. Civilizations will rise, and civilizations will fall; that is the way of the world.

Yet, in the last couple of lines you express the true sentiment of the poem. Humanity forages through it all. Humanity will always be able to adapt to new environments, and destructions. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
4
4
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Autumn, winter, spring and fall.
Halloween, Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving.
Seasons and holidays come and go.
Memories are forever."


Emotion: The feeling of reminiscing. Nice work! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! The stanza I chose in the imagery category was my favorite. It potrayed that seasons do pass, but with each passing season, we need to grasp onto the memories we hold so dear.

The last stanza was sad, and I am sorry for the loss of your grandparents. I just recently lost my grandfather, and it was very difficult for my family and I. I am glad your husband and you are doing well. My blessings go out to you and your family. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
5
5
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Walk with me through this enchanted place";"
feel the gentle breeze tousle your hair.
A butterfly passes";" wing patterns of lace,
and a fox makes a dash for his lair."


Emotion: There was a sense of searching in this poem. It almost reminded me of a feeling of loss. Nice work! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: I have fixed the imagery category for you. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! In the stanza I chose, your rhythm and syllable count were right on the mark. However, after re-reading through your poem a couple of times; although the last two stanzas do have rhyme, the syllable count is slightly off.

Syllable, rhythm, and rhyme are essential, but only if you wish them to be. I do not know if you wanted this poem to be as such, or if this was your intention. If this was, however, you may wish to change the syllable count in the last two stanzas. Nice work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
6
6
Review of Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"And in my dream, right from the start";"

you loved me, and I loved you.

And in my dream you gave your heart,

and I gave mine to you."


Emotion: The feeling of love is presented in this poem. *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: I have fixed the imagery category. There was only one punctuation error. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! I wanted to discuss the stanza I chose in the imagery category. This stanza affected me the most out of your entire piece. It reminded me of the first time I laid my eyes on my husband. In that moment, I had given my heart to him, and he had given his heart to me.

Your words touched me as I read this, and it made me feel like I was not the only one who had experienced such a feeling. I wish to thank you for writing this poem, and I hope to see more works from you in the future. May God bless you and your family.

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
7
7
Review of Love Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a Review from Rising Stars and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Lying in clover, slowly touching all over.
Cool moonlight(,) to dreamers, seen flown down in streamers{.} -First comma not necessary.
"Like" love that does hover between one another{;}
among the clover green."- Capitolize "like" and add a semi-colon.

Emotion: The love which is portrayed in this poem is beautiful! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: I have fixed the imagery category for you. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This poem was well-written, and I enjoyed the sentiment of love which was displayed. I also liked the "King and Queen" in your scenario of love. In the poem, when it speaks of green to golden, it reminds me of Midas. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

"Lust Surrounding Love" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Lust-Surrounding-Love-ebook/...


Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
8
8
Review of Self-Proclamation  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Two-in-One Poetry Contest Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a Review from Two In One Poetry and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Finally I have a sense of direction put forth"."
I look up to the sky, a kiss";"
"a" path that will undoubtedly bring more self-worth.
The arts, the expression of one's self"."
Hopefully","one day my works will be put onto the infamous book shelf."

-rhyming scheme was a little inconsistent



Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: There were some punctuation errors. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This poem was very emtional, and the sentiment was touching. I thought this piece was well-written, and it truly expressed self-expression. The rhyming scheme was a little inconcsistent, and some punctuation errors were spotted throughout, Overall, this piece was well-done! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
9
9
Review of My Family  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Words have not the strength
To convey the breadth of my devotion
That keeps my heart in motion
And weighs it with completeness
Here am I, before you once more,
Speechless."


Emotion: Beautiful emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This poem was so lovely! It reminded me how important family was. Such a beautiful collection of words to describe the love and affection one feels for their family. Great work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
10
10
Review of Stranger  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"A stranger from the depths of night
Stops in to say hello
Stealthy shadow walker
Icy fingered stalker."


Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: There was little punctuation used. Otherwise, nice work.

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This poem was very nice, but the flow seemed a bit choppy. Was this supposed to be a rhming poem or not? In the beginning it seemed to rhyme, then as it continued, it faltered. Overall, nice work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
11
11
Review of Again Good Bye  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"We share our fond memories,
Say our heartfelt good-byes,
As tears pour from our eyes,
Remember our serendipities,
And lies ahead are "blue" skies.

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: There was one grammatical error. I have fixed it in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work.

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This poem had so much beautiful emotion, but sometimes the rhyming scheme was inconsistent. The last line was beautiful as it expresses kinship. Nice work in this poem overall. *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
12
12
Review of Paranoia  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in the poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Parked outside was a black explorer

Two silhouetted figures emerged from the car"


Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: A couple punctuation errors were spotted.

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! I did not quite understand the concept of this poem, and to me, it felt a little unfinished. Maybe if you elucidated at the end and explored who the figures were or why they were there, it would tie the poem together. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
13
13
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"But, alas, 'tis only a dream;
She would not look at me,
With my chapped hands, my plain face
There are princes out there for her.
But as long as I'm in her service
I shall be by her side."


Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This was a beautiful poem, and it reminded me of a tale of Cinderalla. A beautiful and ingenius idea to write a poem such as this. The last stanza is the most emotional, and holds the most truth. I also agree that no matter what, love should never be persecuted. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
14
14
Review of The Last Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this short story.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Sitting in the torch-lit twilight of the camp site, jacket wrapped around bare legs, hands cradling a hot cup of coffee, I couldn't have felt more at home."

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! While reading this short story, I think it was speaking of a time of war on a distant planet. Is that correct? If so, that is very creative. This story almost reminded me of an alien invasion. I really liked this story, and thought it was very captivating. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
15
15
Review of A little voice  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions i this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Yet she knows no one would listen, even though it isn't fair
She has a little voice, and she knows no one would care."


Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area. *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! I enjoyed this poem. However, the syllable count did seem a little off while I was reading this through. You do have the rhyming scheme down to a pat, though. I also very much enjoyed the references. Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
16
16
Review of Cricket Black  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this poem.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"A smile was dancing in my eyes the day I met my wife."


Emotion: Nice emotion in this poem! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! This poem was so beautiful! I am married as well, and the first line was the most beautiful part of the poem, in my opinion. I was a little confused at "cricket black." What exactly did you mean by cricket black? Does that include the tinted hues of blue? Overall, nice work on this beautiful and emotional poem.

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
17
17
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions in this story.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"In shock, all I could see was Spock, lying splat on the ground only inches from the glass."

Emotion: Nice emotion in this story! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area. *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! I thought this story was very inventive. Naming a tree after a Star Trek character was ingenius! My husband got me into Star Trek, and I fell in love with Spock's character. I am so sorry that your mother died, and I offer my deepest condolences. I hope your recovery is going well. Blessings to you.

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
18
18
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...


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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions of how a man should treat a woman.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"I made her from your side so
You keep her by your side.
Let both of you walk along
And be each other’s guide."


Emotion: Nice emotion throughout the piece! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this piece! With all the abusive men in the world, it is refreshing for a man to write about the beauties of a woman for once. To speak of what she deserves; trust, loyalty, and love, is a wonderous thing to pass along to the newer generation. Beautiful work on this poem. I found this poem both emotionally satisfying and well-written. *Bigsmile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! "A Cabaret of Memoirs" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

"Tattered Minds" is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Tattered-Minds-Nataly-del-Sc...

Here is my new website if you are interested:

Website: http://www.wix.com/natalydel/nataly

Blessings~
Nataly del
19
19
Review of CHARLIE HEART  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...
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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

" “They say you're not really nice";" "that you are" only "out" to get money, like an evil snake. They said you are "a" snake, Charlie. Are you
"an" evil snake, Charlie?

I have been called evil, and a snake, but never together in the same sentence.

Emotion: Nice emotiuon! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling:There were a couple grammatical and punctuation errors; I have fixed them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this novel! This seemed to be the start of an interesting read. I will be interested to find where the novel progresses. There was good context, and the concept was pretty good. With that said, there were some glaring punctuation and grammatical errors scattered throughout. Overall, nice work on this story! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
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#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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20
20
Review of Ode to Victoria  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a Review from The Dark Euphoria...
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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: "Intoxicated by a zest for life,
my sweet Victoria sang with robins
outside her window at the break of dawn","
and danced with waves on the sand at the beach.

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: There were a couple punctuation errors scattered throughout; I have fixed one of them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This was a beautiful poem and it captivated me in the beginning. There seemed to be no rhyming scheme until the very last two lines, but it did not take away from the beauty of the piece. Nice work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Blessings~
Nataly del
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21
21
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a Review from The Dark Euphoria...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences: “It’s my fault"," Bill. I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

Thorpe began to weep uncontrollably as the motionless form of his friend sat next to him, his eyes "were" fixed ("forward.")- seems a little off.

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling:There were a couple grammatical and punctuation errors; I have fixed them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this story! This story was very interesting. I enjoyed the conclusion; this was a very touching story. The paragraphs need to be seperated, as well as the dialogue. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
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#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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22
22
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a Review from The Dark Euphoria...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"This has been going on day and night for 7 days. We talk to one another in the lines. We whisper our names… Bathia, Isaac, Chava, Abraham, Olga, Adar… so that the last one will remember the names in case he or she… survives.”

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: Nice work in this area! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this dialogue! I did not quite understand this, but it was very amusing. I found the middle section to be intriguing. The part where they were naked and standing in the woods captivated my interest. I wanted to know more. Why were they there? Who were they? Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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23
23
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...
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Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"The inconsistency brings misery","
"to" all who try to solve life’s mystery.
Allow me to show you the solution.
There are none,
only
simple observations."

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling: There were a couple punctuation errors; I have fixed them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! There was so much truth in this poem. Amazing work on this well-written poem. When you speak of "simple observations," of which do you speak? Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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24
24
Review of Miss Calavera  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Your name, your face, your image";"
haunting familiarity echoed back.
"A" forgotten shadow of someone,
now just a memory.

Something that remained hidden, waiting";"
lurking in the shades of gray.
A melody that still lingers on","
just beyond reach."

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling:There were a couple grammatical and punctuation errors; I have fixed them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this poem! This poem was very beautiful! Dia de los muertos is such an inspiration for poems and stories. I have written a story for Dia de los Muertos as well. Beautiful work on this poem. The flow was simply amazing! Nice work overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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25
25
Review of Ethel's Birthday  Open in new Window.
Review by Lolita-New Book! Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a Review from Horror Inc and Simply Positive...
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Please take note these are only suggestions and opinions.

Context: Great context here! You presented nice descriptions.

Imagery: Nice imagery! I especially like these sentences:

"Ethel smiled in the mirror"," and admired her beauty. Mildred had just been a bitch. It was Ethel’s turn to shine like the movie star she knew
that she was. (She would soon have her smiling face";" last thing that silly, little woman ever saw, gracing the pages of the newspaper for all of the
town to admire for years to come.) - run-on sentence

Emotion: Nice emotion! *Smile*

Grammar and Spelling:There were a couple grammatical and punctuation errors; I have fixed them in the imagery category. Otherwise, nice work! *Smile*

Overall: Great job! I really enjoyed this story! There was a couple run-on sentences in your piece. I have pointed one of these sentences out in the imagery category. This was well-written, and well-thought out. Nice work on this overall! *Smile*

Keep writing! Please feel free to stop by and check out my work as well! My Published Book “A Cabaret of Memoirs” is available here: http://www.amazon.com/Cabaret-Memoirs-Nataly-Del-S...

Here is my new contest if you are interested:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#1784196 by Not Available.


Blessings~
Nataly del
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