This is one of those poems that I wish I knew more of the motivation behind it yet equally fear knowing it. What a horrifyingly wonderful piece you have written. I can see that it is definitely a free-form poem but wonder if the progressive heaviness of the lines grew to emphasize the anxiety that was intended to be conveyed? The lines started simple and progressively became more… oppressive? (not sure if that is the right word.
This piece was powerful, thought provoking, and awkwardly disturbing. I was chilled when reading it especially at the revelation that it was about a mother…
Wow, just wow!
It may not be relevant, but this eerily reminds me of abortion… I may be totally wrong, but it seemed to carry with it a feeling or scenes of doom and/or foreboding. If I am wrong, I apologize. I do not intend to put more (or less) emphasis or intent into this amazing poem you have written. What strikes me further is the raw, blatant addressing of a real or imagined slight or abuse that has occurred. This was truly a disturbing read (in a totally good way)!
The only issue I can think of is a slight grammatical error near the end “I’ve have all but died.” I am not sure, but I think you may have meant “I have all but died.” I have mistakenly tried to correct intended grammatical issues before, so take it for what it is worth.
Thank you for sharing this. Part of me grieves to think this is written from personal experience, but even if it is and I do not fully understand… great job expressing it so well!
I am a long time member but have been stagnant for quite a few years and I am excited to tell you this is my first review in reinstating my activity at writing.com
The opening line “I can feel it there – “ is an unknown that is slowly uncovered and ultimately revealed in the final line “The worm in my heart.” I understand I am focusing on the beginning and end, though I think the meat of this poem are those lines, the skeleton the supporting elements presented in measure between.
I have recently started reading some of the American classic poets like Yeats, Dickinson, and Whitman (to name only a few). I bring this up because I find it increasingly rare to find the horror genre to be greatly neglected by most. Poe (perhaps cliche) is one of my favorite and having recently read a lot of Lovecraft this poem brings me much mischievous glee!
-How did the writing make you feel? Did it invoke any emotions?
It evoked feelings of dirty and impurity. It starkly conjured imagery describing the struggle of feelings of physical uncleanliness alongside emotions.
-Can you relate to the writing through a personal experience?
I often prefer simple, colorfully (or in this case darkly) descriptive poetry.
-What did you like most? What did you like least? Did anything stand out?
As I mentioned above, the detailed descriptions of the conflict of soul to a deep emotional trauma (I hope I am at least close with my analysis) as a dying and rotting analogy. I would only suggest a deeper look at the cadence of the stanzas to help it flow and feel less “bumpy.”
Your poem The Worm in my Heart is further enhanced, in my opinion, is its simplicity. It is in a way refreshing to read a descriptive piece on feelings of conflict and impurity within the human soul (in one believes in that). Thank you for sharing and I am eager to see the evolution of your work!
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/apkinnaman
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 1:57pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
