Hi there, I reviewed this item because it carries the same title to one of my stories.
You have done it well but it still needs to be corrected, so the reader could imagine and picture himself inside your story. I see that this story does not finish in here and it will continue, cause that would be great.
I am not a professional writer, Instead I am just like you, a newbie. So don't take too seriously. Nice work! I only review those who carries the ability to write and has the passion for it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am also a newbie like you so don't worry.
All I could understand was a girl who was hit by a train in the end, you needed to make your story much more better, and you have to work with your grammar too.
Keep up writing you will improve for sure, as I have improved. At first I was also like you.
Have a nice time
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