Hi again, Abby. I came again to read some more of your work as part of you winning my package over at The Four Seasons Auction.
Short disclaimer: I am in no way a professional writer and everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. Remember that you know your story better than I do.
This was a really interesting story. Very creative. I'm not really into sci-fi, but I did like this story and I kept wondering what was gonna happen next and if Natalie would figure it out. I love the friendship you portrayed, especially with Natalie and Ranada. And you had believable dialogue and showed off your scientific smarts.
Thank you for sharing and keep writing! You have a wonderful talent.
Hiya Norb! I'm here with another review as part of the auction package you won over at "Invalid Item" !
So, I see this poem of yours as someone who is questioning life and their purpose in it. I understand. I think most people if not everyone will understand this. We all go through those moments where we feel like life is completely against us. It's like we're the unlucky ticket in the lottery. We question life, the people in it, and ourselves. How can we not when nothing makes sense?
I really enjoyed this piece of yours and though this is the last review I owe you, I've really enjoyed reading many things in your port. You're such a talented writer. I'm a fan!
Hello again, Norb. It's me, Hanna (duh, you can clearly see that. )
Anyways, I'm here again to review as part of the auction package you won over at "Invalid Item"
This was so beautiful, but so heartbreaking. I understand that the guy in it is tired of enabling his girlfriend who feels like she's not enough, and it appears that she has a self harm problem. I'm curious as to what it means though. As I've said before I'm not a poet, and some of what you say in your poetry goes right over my head, but it's so beautiful that I want to keep reading!
Hiya Norb, I'm here again to gift you a review as part of the auction package you won over at "Invalid Item" .
I've only participated in this blogging challenge one time, and unfortunately I didn't even finish it. It was the first blogging challenge I ever took part in and boy, was it fun! I'm so happy that I followed the recommendation from my friend to join. The prompts are fun, thought provoking, and interesting. And I look forward to participating again at some point.
Thank you for sharing this challenge with us. It's awesome!
The world is your canvas, Create and have a great day!
Hiya Norb, I'm here to review this piece as part of the auction package you won over at "Invalid Item" . 🙂
I chose this piece because it's romance, and as you can guess I do enjoy reading romances, haha.
Awww, I really like this piece of yours. It's got all the awkwardness of being intimate with someone for the first time, but also has that vibe/feeling that they already know each other in that sense. I get the feeling that it is about a couple who had a long history with one another, went through a terrible breakup, and are now taking a chance on each other again. I really liked it. Especially the awkwardness because unlike the perfect first time that a lot of movies portray, the first time is awkward usually from what I hear and I'm sure it's very nerve-wracking. And so to read this poem about these people... I feel like they're just so in love that maybe it feels brand new, but yet vintage at the same time. I hope that makes sense.
Thank you for sharing it with us. I really enjoyed it. You're a talented writer. Keep at it!
The world is your canvas, create and have a good day!
Hello, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this piece.
Short disclaimer, I'm new to poetry so please take what I say with a grain of salt.
This poem is one of those that makes you think in my opinion. Because while I was reading it, I was thinking about life, and the comparisons that could be made to this. The way you talk about how some people go slow, but some others drive at a quicker pace made me think about how some people are in a rush and others stop to just enjoy the scenery. There are several comparisons to be made and I really liked this piece.
Thank you for sharing, keep writing, and have a good day!
~ Hanna
Hello, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this piece.
Before I begin my review, I just want you to know that I'm new to poetry so take what I say with a grain of salt.
What drew me in to read this piece was the title and description. I would say you picked the perfect title for this because it's about an angel in your dreams. It was so beautifully written too and had very vivid descriptions. I especially loved the part
"The world around her seems to come alive
While inside, I am fighting to survive"
This was my favorite part because there something about seeing the world around her come alive, when the person is just trying to survive. Like, with her the person can see there still is beauty in the world.
Thanks for sharing, keep writing, and have a good day!
Now, before I begin you should know that I'm still pretty new to poetry and so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I enjoyed reading this poem so much. Your words are so simple, yet so meaningful as well. In only a few lines you were able to paint this beautiful picture of how much your best friend means to you. You have written a short poem about how much you love your best friend, and I've read many poems about friendship, but yours is in my top five.
My favorite part is : When we're apart we're just 2 halves.
It was hard to pick a favorite part because I loved it so much, but I finally chose this because out of everything it basically summed up your entire friendship.
Thank you so much for sharing this, keep writing, and have a great day!
Hello Donna, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this piece that you've written.
Wow, to read this was amazing. I mean, I'm only 20 and the only births I've ever experienced were my two nieces, and to be honest I don't remember much since I was a little girl then. All I remember really is how happy and excited everyone was. This was so beautifully written and definitely captured a very special moment in your life, and expressed how immensely much you love your granddaughter. Thank you so much for sharing it and keep writing.
I wish you, your son, Jeff, his wife, and Karaleen (what a beautiful name) all the best and congratulations on becoming a grandma.
Wow, Cheyanna, this I feel, speaks for so many women. I was very blessed to have a family that told me I could be whatever I wanted, but I know others are not so lucky. This is something that I used to take for granted, but no longer do. Just remember, you can do anything you want. Dream it, believe it, achieve it!
Hello, Mrs. B. Ray, I'm Hanna and I'm here to review this piece as part of the Power Reviewers Disney Raid.
I was immediately drawn to this piece because of the title and the description you gave. "A whole new world" is one of my favorite Disney songs to sing-a-long to...
Now I'm in a whole new world with you.
Now onto your actual poem... I think you captured this Disney moment perfectly! My favorite line is "An endless diamond sky. Amidst a blanket of blue." This was my favorite because it sets the mood of romance.
I noted that you said it wasn't yet finished. I can't wait to read it when it is.
Thank you for sharing it, keep writing, and have a sparkly day!
Disclaimer :
Please know everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another and you ultimately know what is best for your work.
Hooks :
The description, title, and the fact that this was located in the "humor" folder is the reason why I chose to read this piece. I was in the mood for some of your wonderful humor.
Overall Impression : this was so funny! Poor guy, you would think his wife would love him as is, but I suppose if she's staying in shape she expects him to do the same.
My Favorite Part :
I discovered the secret of fitness
and it’s something that I should have known.
Only make love in the dark …
and always shower alone. This was my favorite part because... well does he really think his wife isn't going to notice he isn't getting in shape?
Thank you for sharing more of your work. I look forward to reading more of it. Keep writing and have a glittery day!
Hello again Ken, hopefully you aren't sick of my reviews yet because after this one I still owe you one more. .
Disclaimer : Please know everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another and you ultimately know what is best for your work.
Hooks : The reason I chose to read this piece of yours is partly because of the title. I'll explain quickly, I once read that "honey wagon" is a term often used on a film set... when asked about what it meant an acting professional replied with "it's a very sexy term for bathroom " (turns out a lot of times they don't have doors, but that's another story! The other reason I chose to read this piece was because of the description. I was excited to read about something that really happened to you.
Overall Impression :This was such a wonderful story in the funniest of ways! I can't believe this actually happened to you!! Ahh, the crazy stories we hold so dear and even though they usually are quite embarrassing (like this one) they are the ones to never cease bringing a smile to our faces.
My Favorite Part : This was the trickiest part because it was all so good, but I think this was my favorite part... It may be a cliché - “look before you leap”
but it’s one I now recite even in my sleep. This was my favorite part because my mama taught me to "always look before I leap". This is a really important thing to remember because it can keep us from making mistakes.... mistakes that are way worse than falling in a "honey bucket".
Thank you for sharing such a funny story from your life! I enjoyed every second of reading it and can't wait to read more! Keep writing and have a glittery day!
Howdy Ken, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing your song. I'm from Texas and we say "howdy" sometimes!
Disclaimer : Please know everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another and you ultimately know what is best for your work.
Hooks : What hooked me about this song is it sounds like something I would hear on The Best in Country (which is my favorite radio station) and the title of the song was attention grabbing!
Overall Impression : This song is so good that it sounds like an actual song (if that makes sense). The words flow smoothly together and when I'm reading it it's almost like I can hear an acoustic guitar playing in the background.
My Favorite Part : Has to be the chorus....
I don’t have anything against you,
I just wish we’d never met.
It’s not that you’re hard to remember,
it’s just you’re easy to forget. I really like how this part flows.
Side Note : I wasn't sure who she was talking to though... a friend who wanted to be more than "just friends " or someone she actually loved at one point. Overall though great job!
I enjoyed reading this, thank you for sharing it. You are very talented and I look forward to reading more. Keep writing and have a glittery day!
Hi Ken, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this piece because you won in the "Invalid Item" (did I have to put that?) and I'm excited to read more of your wonderful work.
Disclaimer : Please know that everything I say is meant to help you from one writer to another and you ultimately know what is best for your work.
Hooks : If I'm being honest one of the hooks was the title because it reminded me of a song I heard just the other day by the same name.
Overall Impression : This was a funny piece about a wife and a husband at a dinner party.
My favorite part : This was a little tricky to choose, but I ultimately decided on It was a fancy dinner as I recall. "No, it was a movie at the Mall,"
she whispered to me with a warning hiss. This was my favorite part because it's kinda where it all starts before he realizes they aren't remembering the same date. So much for wedded bliss!
Thank you for sharing your work with me and I'll be back to read more. Keep writing and have a glittery day!
Hiya Izzy, I'm back to review another story in this heartwarming series.
Disclaimer: Please know everything I say is meant to help you from one writer to another. You are the creator of this wonderful masterpiece and therefore know what is best for it.
Hooks: I was excited to read this the moment I found out it is the sequel to "One Life, One Love" and really like the title you've chosen for this piece.
Overall Impression: Niklas is such a great big brother to baby Izzy and the love that surrounds this sweet, very special little girl is apparent throughout.
My Favorite Part: But he knew he was going to protect her in every way that he could. This is my favorite part because this shows how absolutely special Izzy is to Niklas.
Final Thoughts: you have such an incredible talent and I can't wait to read more of your work!
Hello Izzy, I'm so sorry for the delay in this review, but my phone's keyboard had been acting up and then some other stuff came up. So now onto the review...
Disclaimer: Please know everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another and you ultimately know what is best for your work.
Hooks: The title and description definitely grabbed my attention. I think you have chosen the perfect title for this piece.
Overall Impression: This was such a heartwarming story about family. I especially enjoyed the bond of Niklas and Izzy. It was so sweet and pure.
My Favorite Part: This was so hard to pick a favorite part because I felt the story was just riveting. I enjoyed every second of reading it.
Ultimately I chose this part
"Izzy,” he whispered, but felt a jolt of surprise when she opened her eyes. They were a beautiful crystal blue…. same as his mom’s.
This was my favorite part because I see this as the glimpse of the immense love Niklas has for his baby sister.
Final Thoughts: You are such a talented writer who has a way with her words. I'm wondering if this is Non-fiction? And yes, I would love to read more of your work. Especially about Niklas and Izzy.
Hello, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this piece. Congratulations on being in the Newbies Academy Showcase this month!!
Disclaimer: Everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another. You know what is best for your work.
Hooks: the title piqued my interest and the fact that it was about a relationship because I knew there would be so many ways this could go.
Overall Impression: this piece almost made me cry at the end because of what happened and how she was feeling. I loved the way you gave us the history of their love so that it would hit us harder when we find out what happened. Your settings were good and your characters were believable.
My Favorite Part: It was the kind of pain that seemed to swim through you slowly, like a river just down from the hillside, spreading across the flat land after a heavy rain. It flowed wide, not missing any part of her.
This was my favorite part because I felt this was such a unique way to explain the pain she was feeling and it was relatable.
Suggestions: Read over it sometime because there were a few technical errors I saw, but the content was amazing.
Final Thoughts: This was a beautiful, heartbreaking piece and I'm glad I had the chance to read it because you are a very talented writer.
Hi Cat, I'm Hanna and I will be reviewing this wonderful piece. Congratulations again on being in the Newbies Academy Showcase!!
Disclaimer: Everything I say is meant to help you as one writer to another. You know what is best for your work.
Hooks: I chose this because of the eye-catching title and the prompt was very intriguing.
Overall Impression: this was a really interesting piece and I felt that you captured a realistic moment. Especially when this woman realizes that her ex is no good and never was. I feel in that moment she broke the spell he had over her, that soul tie.
My Favorite Part: I love him still, but there's an edge to that love, a bitterness. I don't know how I could have forgotten some things, the lying, the infidelity, the heartache.
This is my favorite part because you wrote such truth to it and she finally realizes who he's been all along.
Final thoughts: I loved how part of this piece read almost poetically. I hope to read more of your wonderful works in the future.
This song was well written and had depth. It wasn't meaningless lyrics thrown together. I could tell you put thought into it. Thank you for sharing it.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.12 seconds at 1:30pm on Nov 17, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
) 
Now I'm in a whole new world with you. 
Ahh, the crazy stories we hold so dear and even though they usually are quite embarrassing (like this one) they are the ones to never cease bringing a smile to our faces.
Hooks: the title piqued my interest and the fact that it was about a relationship because I knew there would be so many ways this could go. 
Overall Impression: this piece almost made me cry at the end because of what happened and how she was feeling. I loved the way you gave us the history of their love so that it would hit us harder when we find out what happened. Your settings were good and your characters were believable. 
My Favorite Part: 
Final Thoughts: This was a beautiful, heartbreaking piece and I'm glad I had the chance to read it because you are a very talented writer.