very touchy. it is from the heart. there are few spelling mistakes. better to make the font smaller - by that it is easy to read.
But again it appears as though the article is not complete.
Good one. But i think you did not proceed to complete it. Continue the poetry to the end. The message is strong but it does not convey what the title proclaims.
Indeed, it is a good attempt on comparative religion. But, as the article is very short it appears to be rather too vague. I think that if you were to elaborate and systemize it the result would be better and informative.
May be you should begin the article with the beliefs of Hinduism and then with beliefs of Muslims. Following that a comparison could follow with your observations and conclusions.
Quoting holy scriptures gives a touch of authenticity and professionalism to ones writings – I suggest you resort to this also in order to improve this piece.
A poem which comes from ones inner soul - is what this is. keep writing.
Following are very minor points for you to look into:
Soul’s should be souls
outfit’s should be outfits
Ego’s & dead soul’s should be Egos & dead souls
(why are you using apostrophe {'} when you intend plural?)
I differ with your view regarding "Abayas...means to be invisible" because to my understanding abayas are to be worn so that women are KNOWN in the crowd as respectable and pious.(Al Quran 33:59)
It is a good article which describes your trip to India and what you learnt from it. What you felt upon meeting with your sick grandfather is touching the heart and your ordeal of getting stuck in flood is interesting.
There are certain things which I would point to improve this piece. After the first paragraph which introduces us to the story in a detail manner, the following paragraph was rather abrupt. One was expecting you to describe your flight journey as well by the way you developed the story at the outset.
Perhaps you could have written some words about as to why you considered your cousins smarter than earlier. Why this change when earlier they were looking at you as role model. What has changed during these years?
May be you should elaborate your ending. You should have elaborated as to why you consider family as "the most important component of life".
If you work more on this it would be very good article.
Excellent and vivid descriptive story.
The metaphor Strange Fruit is apt.
In the first three paragraphs I was not sure where this story was leading to. There is suspense in the story. It creates a desire to read on.
The turning point was, “…sobbing behind the skirts..” and I liked it.
Closing the story with a positive and encouraging note is superb.
Keep writing.
A good write up. You seem to be well informed and knowledgeable. I am in fact learning a lot from your articles. Nevertheless, I offer a couple of suggestions which you may look into.
I do not agree with this statement – "He must do equal justice to them all. Each wife should be treated equally in fulfilling their conjugal and other rights." Reason – the verse quoted refers to justice and not equal justice. There is a fine but important distinction between the two. What is required is that a husband of multiple wives deal equitably among them and not necessarily equally. For example, if one of the wives is sick then the husband would have to spend more money and time with her when compared to others. Surely in the given case he is not dealing equally but equitably.
Last two paragraphs state the conclusion and I think you should have elaborated them. The entire success of the write up hangs on how present them. May be you should have included the following:
1. In west it is but common to see a person having many girl friends. No questions are ever raised. In fact if a girl remains virgin at 16 it is considered as if something is wrong. Man is allowed to have unlimited sex without any responsibility. Children born out of such relations – the illegitimate children, most of whom are abandoned have social problems. Islam says NO to all these. Where Islam allows freedom to marry two and more it also clamps restrictions like maximum number to four and taking responsibility of the children born.
2. Modern tendency to accept gays and lesbians in the society of the west goes beyond sane person's imagination. They are allowed to marry and adopt children. What more, one cannot object to their activities in certain states of USA. You could be taken to court for it! When you can accept such abhorrent acts why can't you accept polygamy?
The story is of good moral import and so is the literary quality. My comments are on the message as conveyed by the story. Comparing Quran to any other book on the earth is inappropriate. Quran is unadulterated word of God, preserved intact for the past 1500 years and will remain so till the day of resurrection as promised by Allah in Surah (Chapter) Al Hijr (The Rocky Tract) 15:9.
“Verily, We, it is We, who have sent down the Quran and surely, We will guard it (from Corruption)”
Allah challenges the non-believer to produce one chapter like that of Quran if he thinks that it is from other than Him. Allah goes on to say that man can never be able to produce one like it even if the world of Jinns collaborate with him for the purpose.
“And if you are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down (Quran) to Our slave (Muhammad – peace be upon him), then produce a Surah (Chapter) of the like thereof and call your witnesses besides Allah, if you are truthful.
But if you do it not, and you can never do it, then fear the Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, prepared for the disbelievers” (2:23,24)
This is not to say that the Old Testament, New Testament, Zubur (Psalms of David) are not words of God in their entirety. In their original form as they were revealed were of-course words of Allah. But with time the original got mixed and adulterated with human work. Since all these books do contain some words of God we can find some elements which are common. But, the most essential message that of worship of none other than only one Allah (God) is missing or lost in the mud of adulteration. This message in its pristine purity is to be found only in the Final word of God – The Noble Quran.
All the Eight points raised in the above story are important for blissful life of the hereafter but the most basic is to worship none other than Allah and not to associate anything or anybody with Him. Our salvation hinges on this seemingly simple principle alone. Allah will admit us to His heaven only if we adhere to the Islamic Monotheism.
In summary – my suggestion is that whenever such stories are quoted, explanatory notes and comments emphasizing the importance of Tauheed (Islamic Monotheism) should be added. Its importance is more felt because such forums as ours have more Non-Muslims than Muslims members. I remind first myself and then you that as Muslim it is our duty to convey Islam to non-muslims and the underlying message of Islam nothing but to -Worship none but Allah and Muhammd (PBUH) is His messenger.
Say: “He is Allah, the Unique One
The Self-Sufficient Master,
Whom all creatures need,
He begets not, nor was He begotten,
And there is none co-equal or
Comparable unto Him.”
(Al Quran – 112:1-4)
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