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Review of Being A Real Man  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings Harry!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! I know way to many men that think this way. If we could only get them to see past their pride to reach out. This was well written and flowed well. I think your choice of words rhymed good. I enjoyed reading this. Great job, write on!
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Review of Untitled For Now  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings tarabites!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This is short and to the point but very powerful and moving. I know how hard it can be to put this pain into words especially when your just starting down the journey to recovery and trying to find your voice. You did a great job. I like the comparison of the glacier. Thansk for sharing. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review of Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings Elysia Rose!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) Powerful. Real. emotional. It brought tears to my eyes to feel your pain and remember my own. There s such bold, honest truth in this. Thank you for sharing. It is well written and there are no technical errors. It doesn't flow very well but I think it adds to it honestly. It makes the reader slow down and read more carefully forcing them to take in the emotion of the words. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings Itchy Water!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This is a powerful poem that hits the heart of what its like to grow up in this kind of abuse. I think the best line is "It grows, filling the crevices.". This flows well, is well written, and doesn't seem to have any technical errors. Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings PhillipV!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) All to often this is the truth of it. The abused grow to be abusers themselves not really knowing any more than what they learned, not that this is an excuse. You captured the darkness the abused feel. The description paints clear imagery for the reader and draws them in to feel the pain. Well written, flows well, and there were no technical errors that I saw. It definitely deserves the ribbon gracing this piece. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review of Circle of Hell  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings Vindicated Dreams!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This was very powerful and intense. I think it help the reader connect to the rage felt that many can't express. I myself have just started to express the anger I feel. I want to commend you for being able to share such a personal piece. It is well written, flows well, and I didn't see any technical errors. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings Matt and Ulysses!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0)The description painted a clear imagery for the reader. Especially the descripton of what was heard while what I presume to be drugged. I like the comparison of the mine without diamonds. The flow is a little broken just by the way the lines are set up. I also think it is a little unclear what was happening while drugged. Maybe an added stanza with further explanation would make it a little more clear. Good luck in the contest, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings writeur!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I am reviewing your item for the innocence lost contest. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) The description and imagery is clear here. I like the comparison to the ocean tides. The poem flows well and doesn't have any technical errors that I can see. Great job, write on! Good luck in the contest :)
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Unratable.)
Greetings !
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. You emailed and asked that I review your item. As I do, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) Overall, it is well written with very few mistakes for it's length and the ones here are minor. Nice job editing. My general take: I enjoyed it and though I don't know much about westerns other than the very few I've seen, it seems as though there is a good baseline and that you are headed in the right direction. I have a few suggestions listed below. Good luck, great job, and write on!


Consider different name for sheriff- to close to the 'Dukes'

In the paragraph describing the town, needs work...this paragraph is more like an inventory. Your description could use some touching up to break things down but hold the readers interest.

when they robbed the St.Martins' ban should be a space between St. Martins'

"How we gonna go 'bout this,Roscoe?"- should be a space between comma and Roscoe

She was as tall as he was; sturdily built, but not fat;- I would find a different word choice for fat, it's easily offendable...try robust, over weight etc.

three cups of coffee, "that that means you three are going looking for trouble."- in order to take out the extra word "that" which trips the reader up try rewording...maybe make it a question..."that mean you three are lookin' for trouble?"

The bandits' horses trotted away from the noise and the smell of blood.- I thought maybe fresh blood would be a bit more descriptive but not sure if it would interfere with the point

His guns fell to the ground as he fell back against the wall of the bank, bleeding for a dozen places or more.- should be ...bleeding from a dozen...

and haul your butt done here, 'cause Diamond's been shot."- shoulkd be ...haul you butt down here...
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Bob!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! This was a well researched article with many pints of reference to support your main point. It was informative and makes the reader question these ideals. great job, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Yellow Rose!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! What an entertaining little piece. I enjoyed it's humor. My favorite part was the description of the red eyed cat. It is unique in the effect you usually see them portrayed with bright yellow or green eyes. I think your use of the prompted words were well used. Great over all description. I didn't see any technical errors. Great job, write on!
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Review of Wrong  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Jyou!
I am Shannon, I am a newbie at the WDC Power Reviewers Group too. This is my welcome review from me to you. I hope you find the review helpful, encouraging, and enjoy the group. Come in and investigate there is a lot to see and do. If you need help the captains are always quick to help you out. Jump right in and get reviewing! As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This poem can be emphasized with by many readers. When desire takes over common sense and we destroy a close friendship. One we can only hope will survive but more often than not, doesn't. This free verse poem flows well. The description is clear, concise, and honest. My favorite line is "Fear breads excitement." It's anticipation and adrenaline that is strong in us isn't it. I have no suggestions for this piece and didn't see any technical errors. Great job, write on!
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings J. D. Martin!
I am Shannon, I am a newbie at the WDC Power Reviewers Group too. This is my welcome review from me to you. I hope you find the review helpful, encouraging, and enjoy the group. Come in and investigate there is a lot to see and do. If you need help the captains are always quick to help you out. Jump right in and get reviewing! As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) I love the dark descriptions. My favorite lines are: "dripping acid daggers, breeding cruelty faster than I can breathe." Your readers, especially me, can relate this to many different demons haunting them. Your imagery draws us in to sense, feel, and see surroundings and emotion.I think the lack of punctuation and capitalization in this piece actually add to it enhancing the chaos the writer feels within. I don't see any technical errors.Great job, write on!
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Review of Secret Crush  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Nasreen!
I am Shannon, I am a newbie at the WDC Power Reviewers Group too. This is my welcome review from me to you. I hope you find the review helpful, encouraging, and enjoy the group. Come in and investigate there is a lot to see and do. If you need help the captains are always quick to help you out. Jump right in and get reviewing! As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This heart wrenching piece speaks to your reader pulling them into the pain the girl feels. Many of us have been there at one time or another where we felt like our heart just couldn't stand the pain. A gut wrenching pain that makes you physically ill. Your description paints a clear picture of the imagery around her making it easy for the reader to see it in their mind. I didn't see any technical errors. Great job, write on!
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Review of Glass Shoes  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Noxsociti!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) This is a brutally blatant poem about the truth of it. I commend you for your writing of it. It is well written and addresses issues that most in society want to turn a bind eye to. It flows well and there are not technical errors in it I can see. There is a contest this might be good for if you are interested. "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Darkness Love!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :0) I was touched by your poem as I have been there before. The waiting game can be unbearable and though we know we deserve better we can't help what the heart wants. We don't have control over who we love. It is a well written piece with great rhyme scheme. I enjoyed the metaphors to betting. It gives it an interesting appeal. Great job, write on!
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Review of White Balloons  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings Web Witch!
I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! This is a sad heart wrenching poem. It makes you stop you wonder about what it is like to lose a child and pray you never have to find out. have no suggestions about this poem. It is well written and deserves the ribbon gracing it. Write on!
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Review of Toadalee  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings FictionFlasher! I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :) I enjoyed the wistfulness of this piece. It's quite entertaining. Great descriptions. I like the play on words of the main characters name.

I would like to suggest breaking your sentences down a little more to make it flow better and easier to read. We need to give the reader time to breath lol :)

You might think that doesn't bear mentioning,- missing word

couch surfing at the moment) but bear with me for dramatic effect.- missing word "is"

Toadalee, hopoed along side.- should be "hopped"

I'd didn't have my phone,- should be "I didn't"

listening to tunes, laughing at the absurdities of life.- "and" should separate these two listings in the full sentence

so I took the pitched and glasses- should be "pitcher"

her absense cut through me like a knife- "absense" should be "absence"
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings Ace Corona! I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! I love to read biographical pieces and learn about other people, their cultures, and their experiences. I think it's great you were driven to go back to school and try to learn a new way of life. Writing.com opens new windows and idea for everyone. I myself am not into shrinking stories but I am sure they are well written. Any suggestions I have a written below great work, write on!

I think maybe some of the detail should be omitted as it's not relevant to the story. EX. Where and what route had to be taken for the bus ride.

May I suggest breaking some of your sentences down. Some of them are quite lengthy. A break in them would give the reader a chance to breath :)
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Review of Have You Ever?  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings D. L. Fields! I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item, please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am reviewing an item of yours in return for an item you reviewed of mine. Thanks again! I can sympathize with you completely. My teens are always bringing home strays and the less fortunate. However, I am not have as much resolve as you and we have 3 cats and a guinea pig that was suppose to be "sold". This well a well written witty piece. It flowed smoothly from one scene to another. My favorite part is where you listed the reasons she couldn't have it. There were just a few technical suggestion I have made below. Great read, write on!

I would suggest a little less space between paragraphs.

..."Sarah did what any kid would do...she whined and begged and promised to do extra chores and even vacuum to help us pay for the cat and she would never, ever, EVER ask for ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. I did what any parent in this situation would do...."- This sentence is a bit long. I think breaking it up some would help the read with a breath or two lol :)

"...endure "whywhywhywhywhy?" My an"- Maybe break up her "whys" unless that was intentionally done for emphasis.
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Review of Silent  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Fallen Angel! I am Shannon wit' WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest. I am review an item in return for a review you did for me. Thank you again. I enjoyed looking into a life from another cultural and religious back ground and perspective. I know it would be a hard decision for me to make in the same situation but it would be on my shoulder because my brother would not be able to handle it. saw a couple small technical errors and have listed them below. Great read, write on!!

But I knew it couldn'tt be happening.- "couldn'tt" should be "couldn't" be

, i got frustrated and left angrily, crying like a baby.- i should be capital

I went to her, and taking her face in m hands, - " should be "my" hands"

I am to Allah Who let me protect you,"- "Who" shouldn't be capitalized
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Review of The Drowned Lover  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Garret! I am Shannon wit' WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :) I enjoyed your poem. What I thought was happening turned out not to be right, nice twist towards the end. Here are a few suggestions I thought might help the piece flow a little smoother. Great read, write on!

One day, a man came to her, yelling in I could not understand..


I ran to her aid and lashed out at him. Suddenly, he became...

I became entangled. Something pulled me down....
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Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings Andrew! I am Shannon with the WDC Power Reviewers. This is definitely a unique poem with a different perspective. Your descriptions paint clear imagery and draw the reader in as if they were the ones cooking this meal. My favorite line was: "crisp scraps are left
like skeletons in my closet." There are a few suggestions I am making below, but they are just my humble opinion. Great work, write on!

I think some more punctuation and capitalization would go a long way to add an even flow, unless it was done like that on purpose.

third stanza fifth line- maybe change "and" to "they"

i choke it all down like sin; it threatens to come back,- maybe change to "back up"
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Review of Hero  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings HBIC! I am Shannon with the WDC Power Reviewers. I came across your poem on our review board. Is is a beautiful poem about every girls dream to be rescued in a fairy tale. I liked your rhyme scheme and it flows pretty well, I have a few suggestions, made just in my humble opinion, below. Take what you can from them and leave the rest :) Great read, write on!

Third stanza last line- turning away from the world- maybe "turning" could be changed to "turned".

Forth stanza last line- Asking innocently for someone to answer her calls- maybe "Asking innocently" might flow better standing alone as "She asked innocently"

I reworded part of this story to suggest a way I think (IMHO), that it woulf low a little smoother.

He looked up from where he stood,
and curiously saw that if only he could
pull back one last score,
He would be able to see her core.

He looked up from where he stood,
and curiously saw that if he could
pull back only one last score
he would be able to see through to her core
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Review of INFINITE LOVE  Open in new Window.
Review by S. R. Craig Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings Itchy! I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I enjoyed your poem. It is a dark affirmation but it is stated in a matter of fact type manner and you don't see the end coming. I do think maybe some punctuation would help it flow a little better. In the third stanza second line I'd like to suggest maybe replacing the word "It" with "That. This is just my humble opinion. Great read, write on!
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