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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/baschon
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6 Public Reviews Given
7 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of A Ghostly Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by writeur Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
Although I think it is a cute poem, and I like the subject of your material, I am giving it a rating of 1.5 because I believe you are ready to go to the next

level. Meaning, you seem to enjoy writing and pocess the initiative to getting down to doing it. However, I would suggest taking a writing class either

on line or otherwise to help you with the dynamics of writing if you are so inclined.

Learning the writing skills that are necessary to help you to reach and captivate your audience might be the extra push your writing could benefit from.

To date, one of the most fundamental writing tools or skills that I was taught has now also taught me the art of learning to develop the required task of

constant self challenge. This is the skill of show don't tell. It has helped me to include my readers to learn what is happening in the story as you are

experiencing it rather than reading aloud your story to them. If I may give you an example from your own work; Their fearful voices announced as I

frowned. This is only an example. I'm obviously no pro but a mere student myself but here goes.

"Screams sprang from the still of the night. Terror echoing out of every corner of darkness. My heart pounding as the children now come into sigtht."

Again, I am a student myself. I simply wanted to try to give you a clearer picture, if you will, of my rating and review.

I am currently reading an amazing book by an author who teaches writing in her spare time. The book is entitled, BIRD by BIRD and is written by :

ANNE LAMOTT. I recommend it to anyone who has an interest in writing of any kind. It's an easy read also.

Keep writing. Keep reading. And, keep sharing.

Thanks, Sharon K.
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Review by writeur Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
I like your intro. from; The room was swaying back and forth, my mind, poisoned ect. It shows action and as a reader catches my attention.

As a whole, I found your piece, memoir, to be consideribly interesting and in some ways inspirational. It certainly showed honesty and considering it

is a memoir, piece braveity on the writer's part. Again, as a reader, I found myself wanting to read more to find out what happens and ultimately

how it all ends. If I were to change something, though, I'd have to say that I would do a bit more showing and a little less telling whenever possible.

Otherwise, keep writing and keep reading! Oh, and sharing!
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