Obviously you lived, either that or your poem was found by some vatican priest or Swiss guard, next to your dead body. I like poems that tell a story in addition to relaying an emotion or feeling. Good job. I am not a poetry expert, but I like your wrting.
a sad beginning. But now Abdul must fight and teach his children to fight. The story goes on....... right?Anyway, a nice little tale, look forward to more..... good luck. rob
Again, great voice. perfect. natural born storyteller. Have you been writing a long time? Or just started writing them down. You should really persue this in a novel. It would be a great read. it beats working for a living.
Excellent story. Break it up double space it. I like the way you tell the story, your language. You could turn this into a super duper work by slowing it down and describing a little bit more. Its almost like you are in a hurry to tell the story because you have to catch a bus or something. Put some meat on it. but you have the voice... which is something you cant teach. congrats. If you have time review the last two chapters of my "last hooray" start of a novel. I am going to read more your work. You might just have something here.
I dont have much knowledge of poetry. So I couldnt say what style or form this is. but I liked it. keep on writing. I encourage you to do what you love. rob
Excellent. From the heart. The best stories are the ones that make you feel all the pain again, but heal you at the same time. I think that is what is so wonderful about story tellers, sharing the joys and the pain. You are lucky to have had such a good dog. I hope you find another dog as fine as Sara someday.
Good writing, good flow. The dialog was good and helped to describe the characters. The plot born of the conflict at the start is a good way to get into the story quickly. I found it easy to read, and felt compelled to read more. I am a beginning writer so don't feel that I could contribute much to your efforts. However, I would probably go back and let the characters reveal more of themselves by their inner thoughts. This would slow the story down however. It is difficult thing to balance. How did Cronos feel about Katherine? What did Katherine feel after her parents were killed? Her despair, her missing her family. Memories. These things bring the reader closer to the main characters, and lets them feel what she feels. Anyway, good effort here, and hope to read more.....
If you would like to review my " work in progress start of a novel" i would appreciate it.
Hello, I enjoyed the way in which you reavealed the setting that Matt was in, the characterization of Literarianism. I am a beginning writer, so I probably cannot give you any recomendations for improvement. However, I like the way in which you developed the plot , Matts fear of being stock, and not a protagonist. Dont we all have this fear? Being a writer is our escape from being stock. Yes indeed. Very thought provoking your little story here. It is again reavealing how much goes on in our minds as we navigate through mundane tasks, and boring jobs. You have revealed this in youir character Matt. While many stories are phisical conflict with losers and winners, your story is a good example of the conflict of hope and despair. Thanks again for giving an example of how to develop a character through inner conflict, and his circumstance.
Please review the beginning of my work in progress.
Hello, I enjoyed your story. I liked the ending especially. You had all the ingredients of drama, the main character; the lovable dog, dog against nature (the master dies, uncertain future, a little tension here), the masters wife (dog against man, the antagonist, the battle between good and evil) a little more tension here, the dog wins against the masters wife, and then the resolution; the dog vents his problems, (cant make friends), a little more tension here, and then finds friends, overcomes problem (makes bubbles) and meets wonderful girl dog, who digs him bubbles and all......... finds resolution to all problems.......happy ending.......... Pretty much the outline of any good story..... congrats keep writing.....
Please review my work in progress...... thanks rob brian
I enjoy your stories. I plan to read them all. Please write more. I would appreciate your review of a work in progress. Any suggestions on how to improve my writing. I have one story called the mountain that is like your stories.
Very nice. Nice flow and descriptive. I dont have any suggestions for improvement, you seem to know where you are going. Please review my work in progress. rob
Very good dialog, interesting story line. Compelling. I would like to read more. I dont have any recommendations for improvement. I thought it was very good. please review my work in progress I am looking for constructive input to help me improve my writing.
I am at work so didn't finish your story. I am not into this kind of adult stuff, but the story was interesting and easy to read. Thanks for your valuable input into my stuff I took your advice, as I am just beginning to write every day.
Im so glad to see there are passionate crazy people left in the world... I liked your story very much. Please write more with your very different approach and point of view. Write on.
I like your essay. Keep writing your thoughts, observations. Keep expanding your narrative. Be more discriptive and it will lead you places and give you satisfaction.. Be sure to preserve your family history and stories for your children.. One of the problems here in the US is that we have no roots, we are too nomadic... Our children need storytellers like you to show them where they come from. Thanks for sharing.
Very good short story... I liked it very much. I didnt know where you were going until the last moment. Keep writing. I look forward to more of your stuff. Feel free to send your stories to me.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 3:35pm on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
