WOW! You are so right in so many ways. I read this to my husband and his statement to me was "I wish there was a way to teach the young the value of regret". This poem says so much about the state of our society and what has become of our children. They all believe they know it all and refuse to take time to listen to those who have really been there!
Great Job! This needs to be in print somewhere where even more people will read this -- maybe the editorial pages of a few newspapers. I know there's places to publish this!
I like this exercise quite a lot; however, I fell that it would read better if it were written in the past tense, since you begin by saying that it was in the 1940's. You have used very good picture words to describing your setting. It carries a believable quality.
There is so much to look at when you see your reflection and this poem captures that with the careful and precise choice of words. The images are drawn out with meaningful pictures words that will make me think the next time I stare at myself in the mirror.
Clever, yes I must call this fairy tale nothing less than clever! You have provided us with an imaginative tale which incorporates reality and fantasy leading to a winning combination. There are many unexplainable things in this world with powers beyond our mortal comprehension. Thank you for capture a little of that in this story of the fairy world's mischief which inhabits ours.
This collection is very interesting. You have quiet a mind -- deep! I can find no errors in spelling or grammar. You have many ideas and emotions all in one place, and it's nearly overwhelming to read them all at once; however, you have written some very good pieces here. My favorite is probably the first on the list. You show a wonderful use of words here. Your work is honest, which is a huge plus to anyone who writes poetry of any sort.
At First Glance
This reads well, with clear thought.
Grammar
There seems to be no mistakes which I can detect.
Overall
Thank you for giving voice to the inner turmoil. I love the rhyme and the flow couldn't be better! This piece is very well written and worthy of much praise.
WOW -- thank you for writing such an interesting and educational piece as this. It is clear, and to the point. I love how you have described the symptoms in such a straight forward way. This was truly an article that I needed to read and I plan to share it with my husband, since I find that these are things which plague our family, myself included.
This is very nicely written. It flows smoothly, and your rhymes work very well. When I read it aloud it rolled off the tongue very well. I guess I'm a little old-fashioned, but my favorite poetry rhymes and I find that just too many people either refuse to try or try to hard. This is very good and I enjoyed it very much.
By all means you do have talent, we all have talent -- it's just that many do not choose to develop their innate talent. You have shown the strength needed to write and that is putting your thoughts on paper and then giving that baby up for others to read. It can be a scary move. You have done well, the only spot that I see anything is in the very first stanza. In my opinion you should change out one or two of the "place" words. It would make this much stronger.
Keep up the writing , the longer you are here, the more you will improve if you work at it.
I like the thought behind this poem; however, there is room for improvement here. Please remember that this is only my opinion and in no way am I wanting to discourage you from putting your thoughts down for us to read.
In your 4th line you already stated "great civilization". Repeating this phrase in your very next line is redundant and could easily be dropped without hurting your poem.
Sometimes repletion is important to the meaning of a poem, but repeating the same word can also show a lack of imagination or laziness. There are many other words which can be used to replace "great" and "giant".
One last thing, I would like to see the middle of your poem broke up into lines just as you did in your first and final stanzas -- these were very nice.
Please, do not be offended, I am only trying to help and these are only my most humble opinions.
I very much like your thoughts here. Your rhyme scheme is good and it flows nicely also. This would be a nice legacy to leave, a tree upon the grave. I also like short poems, I believe that they can me more of a challenge since you've chosen to confine your words to a smaller space, making word choice even more important.
There is much truth in this poem. You've made quite a point here that few people will really want to listen to, mainly because it will hit far too close to home and their actions. Your writing is clear and, for the most part, has a nice flow.
This is a wonderful testimony of God's ability to use other people to touch us right where we need it. This is nicely written and will touch the hearts of many. It is very important to be willing to share our personal "God moments" with others -- that's why He gives them to us! Thank you for sharing.
I pray that God keeps you safe always and His peace abides in you every day of your life. God bless. Cynthia_the_BunnyHamm
WOW -- I wish I could have been there, but your words gave me your view! I could almost hear and smell the sea. You have painted a wonderfully vivid picture. Half way through I had to stop and read it to my husband, who also says WOW! This is extremely well written, and I hope that you find a place to publish.
I could see this poll broke down a little more with the names of Christian religions, which could make this even more useful, and you wouldn't have to deal with the e-mail of what the 'other' is (in Christian cases - at least.) Good poll though. I can't wait to see the results!
Christian - Community of Christ. Cynthia_the_BunnyHamm
Oh this is such a precious stories. First of all I love animals, at one time I had thirteen cats! (Most of them stayed outside). I never thought that a possum would get along with cats like that though. This is a great story that I'm sure could find it's way into an animal magazine somewhere.
I love Looney Tunes! Great poll, I forget all about the feuds really, it's just part of the cartoon. Thanks, because it's made me think. Who knows, it just might inspire me to write a poem about Sylvester and Tweety! I collect Tweety t-shirts. Good to know there's still loyal LT fans out there.
This is very well done. I have written songs for many years, and this is good. You have put your heart into it and that shows. Your rhyme and meter flow smoothly which is all quite important when wishing to put any words to music.
The concept/idea behind the lyrics, well all I can say it that "I've been there, done that, understand completely!"
This is simply beautiful! You have done such a great job with this form. My hat's off to you. I love etheree's and I still have not ventured to write a double. Your choice of words is superb, the the imagery is excellent. I can't wait to check out some more of your work.
I found this to be an intriguing piece of writing. Your "vision" is made very clear, and you make good use of imagery. I really love the ending too - I once was a "Different Strokes" fan myself many, many years ago. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
I believe this to be a well thought out and informative essay. I like how you have not just focused on the writer, but also the illustrator who can play a very important role in children's literature. Historical fiction I believe to be a very good source for youth to gain a working knowledge of history; however, the writer must know how to stay true to the events which I believe you addressed well in your essay.
First of all, I love daffodils, so I love the subject of this poem. It is very well written and you gave meaning to its' slumber. Clearly worded, and nice flowing phrases which leads you through the thought very well. Nicely done. I look forward to reading more.
This is very nice, I like the imagery you have used and they way it flows from one position to another. I draws a very clear picture, like if on a movie screen. What's funny is it sounds like you're describing me and my husband! (That's why my nickname is bunny -'cuddle bunny'. )
This is a good poem, especially since you were thirteen when you wrote this. I The use of "big" words is good, however, there could have been other words that might have worked even better, especially in the last stanza. You have a lot of talent and I hope you keep writing..
I really like this poem, I don't see anything wrong at all! I truly like your use of words: insecurity and obscurity - I really like this. The whole poem is what I would call "perfect". The rhyme scheme is very well thought out and artfully executed!
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