This piece lays open the scars we carry as survivors of a troubled childhood. I completely understand the pain, although it was my father who drank. Your words are powerful and honest, there's no sugar-coating here. Reading what you have written makes me realize that there is more in my past that I need to explore and deal with in my healing process.
If you wouldn't mind, please look at my poem entitled "hide".
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This poem has a very nice sense of rhythm, and it flows very well. I also like your choice of following a rhyme scheme; however, you seem to have failed to use the rhyme within your very first stanza. Was this on purpose? In my opinion, it would be nice to have the rhyme in the first stanza also.
This was a difficult piece for me to read because it hit too close to home. This shows the deep emotion which we feel as mothers. Sometimes it's next to impossible to put our hopes, and prayers for our children into words. You have laid your heartfelt feelings down in words for others to feel which isn't easy, especially when you're directly in the middle of the real life situation. Thank you for your honesty in your writing. This is very well done.
This is great. I would have never thought about putting a list like this together, but I seem to always be writing some kind of list. Sometimes you just don't have a sound word on the top of your head when you need one. Thank you for all your work.
I like the ideas and images that you have in this piece; yet, it seems a little rough to me. I also noticed a type-o in your second to last line -- 'as' is missing the 'k'.
Keep on writing and don't let my opinion stop you in any way.
This is an interesting poll. I work with Mexicans, and my great-grandparents on my mothers were from Sweden and Germany. I traveled to Canada once in 1989. That's as international as I have gotten. It's interesting though to think back on. Thanks for the poll.
I'm so glad I've finally found, all in one place I might add, the answers to so many of my questions. I love your article, it explains so much. I took "Introduction to Poetry" in college (16 years ago) and I believe I'm learning more here then I ever thought I learned in that class. Thank you again for your PERFECT article.
I have to say for someone who normally doesn't rhyme, you have done a very good job. I happen to love rhyme because that's what my mother read to me as a child. This piece has very good imagery, and shows the imagination of a child very well. I especially like your final stanza . . . quite clever. Keep on writing and don't give up on rhyme, you do it quite well and children love the sound and flow.
This is very well thought out and well written. As a newbie, I've been looking for information and this fit the bill perfectly. Thank you so much! I like the fact that you included the easy, obvious, and the more difficult ways to get noticed. Keep writing!
This is a wonderful piece of poetry. I can put myself right into the gazer's perspective! In other words - been there, done that! Your descriptive words are very well thought out and the use of punctuation lends to a gentle flow of thought.
This is very nicely written. I understood pretty quickly that you were in a graveyard, but that's not a bad thing. My understanding only added to the impact of the rest of you descriptions of love and what it should be. I like your insight into relationships very much.
I love this story and I can't see one single thing wrong except for I would love to read more! You have created great characters in this short piece that could last very well through a much longer work. I really hope to read more of your stories. You're going in my favorites!
Cynthia
As a child I never had an imaginary friend, instead I had my dolls which I talked with all the time and no one thought it strange. Your essay gives both sides of this argument valid points and shows the 'whys' and 'why nots' quite clearly. I always felt that children with a good imagination would find new and different ways to be creative and imaginary friends are perfect for the creative, writing mind.
This is very well written and quite informative. I, myself, have been treated for this disorder, but my doctor refused to give me the written diagnosis. I also suffer from PTSD which only makes the rest worse. I found your descriptions of the bipolar types very concise, but also easy to understand. Thank you for your impute into this painful disorder.
God's Word speaks to so many things and if we truly believe and are willing to look with an open heart, God will give us the answers, they are all there within His Word. It's amazing what we can find and it's wonderful to know that all the encouragement we need can be found in one book. You have made it clear that it is very simple - love your neighbor. It's so sad that people just don't see things this way. This was very well witten and insightful. Thank you.
Cynthia
Well done. This piece puts all the imagery boldly in front of us, pulling you into the place where she is at and what could be going through her mind. This is very well written. I like the repeated line in the first two stanzas. Thank you for your insight to a vital piece of scripture.
What a wonderful story. It holds the ring of truth from start to finish. I can picture the little boy perfectly. The only think I was disappointed with is that fact that "little boy" doesn't have a name. Which makes it less personal. I still liked the story very much. Keep writing.
Cynthia
This is a beautiful story of love, growth, and development, not just for the rose, of course, but of human nature and our ability to love. Roses are very special, I wish I had just one of the rose bushes my grandmother grew. I truly like your story (and by the way - neighbor - I live in Rome, GA). Once again a beautiful story.
This is beautiful, touching, and heart wrenching all at the same time! Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. I completely understand the love for an animal. A dog, especially, can weave its' way into your heart to the point of heartbreak if you only suspect that something has happened to it. Right now I can't have a dog where we live, but we have a cat and he is very much a part of our lives and he's very loving, and yes, he sleeps with us! But yes, a dog has the unconditional love that is like God's unconditional love for us. It's a way we get to experience a little piece of heaven here on earth. Thank you again for sharing such a heartfelt piece of your life in written form.
Cynthia
I have to say right away that I really love this. It reminds of me and my own three children when they were young. Life seems to throw all kinds of weird stuff at you when you least expect it and a mouse in your coat is certainly not something expected! The dialog between the mother and the children is completely believable, which for me, never wants to flow right at first. What I like the most is that I can close my eyes and be right there in the picture you've painted. Thanks for making me chuckle.
Wow, this is quite a story! I'm impressed. Things like this happen more often then we care to remember, or want to think about. The sad truth is in truth it does happen and people want to whisk it all under the bed and forget about it. It's a painful situation to be put into when you are suddenly thrust into a fight for your life. It's not easy to move on instinct, but sometimes that just what has to be done. Yes, he was a true hero, but he was only doing what Jesus would want us to do. God held his hand so that he could do what needed to be done to save this desperate girls life.
Yes, it's easy to write about emotions, passion, greed and regret, and it's good to write about such things. I've found that a majority of poets have written about such things - probably because they didn't want to pay for someone to listen to their problems. Personally, I love to write about the little things. I've written about pizza, rocks, turtles, and bunnies. Of course, I'll admit to writing about love and the loss of it (which has gotten me out of some therapy I believe. My husband has accused me of using too many detail in life, but I'd rather be accused of that then not seeing them at all. I guess what I'm saying is this, I love your article and don't ever stop looking at the small stuff.
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However; even for a children's story, (in my opinion) you have repeated too many of the statements breaking down the general flow of the story.
. Keep on writing and don't give up on rhyme, you do it quite well and children love the sound and flow.