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Review of More than Abba  Open in new Window.
Review by CMcMo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,

I think your piece shows promise but still needs a bit of work. Some items to consider:

*Is the journey more important or the location more important? I think you spend too much time describing the journey to Aber. I understand it's relevant to tell your readers how to get there, but it's not really necessary to go into great detail. We're more concerned about why I should be in Aber.

*When I read "a place where dreams come true" I immediately think Disney World.

* I don't think you deliver on your promise that Aber is a "place where anything can happen." It sounds like a regular place. I don't get a sense of Aber's uniqueness until the concluding paragraph were you discuss some local legends.

I'm not well-versed in travel writing, but I seem to think that when someone writes about a place in a magazine they usually focus in on a particular season. I could be wrong! I just think your piece could benefit from the focus of writing about Aber during one time of year instead of all seasons.

I will send you my line-by-line review.

Well done.

CMcMo
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