I found this song very touching, it expressed many of my own thoughts a veiws on war. I to believe that no one truly wins.
The way you put your feelings into words that will touch many is truly a gift.
I say continue what you are doing, if you are writing from the heart then trust that what you write will always be perfect and above the judgement of others.
This is absolutely lovely, I felt your love for your husband flow with each verse. It is always hard to reveiw poetry because everyone has their own style and feel that is just right for them. If It were up to me I would change precious little, here are my suggested changes, but I think it is already perfect as it has expressed exactly what you meant for it to.
In this line "Then you raised me up, had faith in me" I would have written " then you raised me up, you had faith in me,"
Here I would have used "so" instead of and
"You gave me the courage to go on,
Banished my doubts and now they're gone"
Here i would have inserted "you" between ,___never demand
"You always ask of me, never demand,"
That is all I can suggest but like I said before it is perfect as it is, your love is truly a gift and you made that very clear in your writing.
Feel free to take a look at my portfolio and leave some feed back, I always welcome it.
I want to thank you for all of the helpful information you've provided. Nothing pleases me more then writing, and I so want to share my stories with other who do ont know me personally and whose opinions are shaded by personal feelings, you have made this possible. Thank you Thank you Thank you, a million times more!!! This is by far the greatest site I have encountered yet!
I must say I was very impressed with your descritive writing, I could almost see the night sky you described and hear the enchanting music. I admit I found myself wanting to draw my own conclusions about this character's destination and his unreal companion. The prologue seemed a little lengthy to me and I had a hard time keeping insterest at first, but as I began to read the actual story I realized that most of the information provided in the prologue was needed and added a certain quality to the story it's self. Still my greatest advice is to try and shorten the Prologe a little. Though I am not the authority on such things I think it will hold the readers attention more the sooner you get the actual story. Keep writing I will be checking back to see where you take the man and his newly found companion.
---C.A.Hobby
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