That is really beautiful and very sad at the same time. I feel so sorry for the subject and want to pull them away to a "lighter" path. This is very deep and emotional. I really like it.
Aundria this so beautiful, I cried. I read this to my husband who also was moved so deeply by it. The reader is brought into the raw emotion of the unknown soldier and it makes you cry for them. You have such a beautiful way with words and this is so appropriate for this holiday weekend.
There is nothing I can offer you for improvement because you can't improve on something that is already perfect.
I love this! So powerful with emotion and thought. It was easy for this reader to "feel" the inner and outer storms and visualize it. This is a great poem. I can't offer you anything to improve because it is already, so very good. Good job. Oh...and the title is perfect.
I really like this. As I read it, I could feel the bitter cold winter winds blowing. I could vision the evergreen in it's beautiful glory, standing next to a barren tree in it's winter slumber. I was very easily pulled into the scene. I never read your original version, but I really like this one. I tell everyone, I'm not a poet and don't know the first thing about writing poetry but I love reading it. This is good.
This is a wonderful story. I definitely felt like I was there and watching everything unfold. I could feel Darla's emotions, anxious to bring something to her father. It reminded me of moments with my sisters growing up I found myself giggling at the end with everyone else. Thanks so much for sharing this.
I love this. I can feel the utter darkness this person is in. It made me panic, feeling like I have to reach out and help, to do whatever I can to pull this person out. Very strong emotion. Very well written.
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