Simply gorgeous, I'm in love with this. The words flow together so effortlessly, creating astounding imagry and soft emotion. I even got a little choked up haha Well done. :)
I really liked the concept of this story- a single mom struggling to make ends meet being inspired by her son to help some less fortunate then herself, maybe even learn that she isn't doing so bad compared to others. Really great :)
Very nice story, totally engaged me. I love a good fairy tale, but they're always the same. This was quite refreshing, a nice change to the norm. I can't think of anything for you to fix. Just lovely :) I look forward to reading more of your work!
Wow. I'm seriously at a loss for words. This is an incredible story- the ending was so unexpected! I sat down to read your story thinking I'd only spend 10 or 15 minutes, get bored, and X out of it- sci fi usually isn't my genre of choice. But I realized after an hour that I had read the entire thing, and loved every single bit of it. I knew that the old man and boy were going to die, cause you said in the intro that the aliens eventually dominate the entire world, but I still found myself rooting for them, hoping they'd survive. The emotion is raw, the writing style gripping. I can't find anything that needs to be fixed except that you should expand it into a full sized novel- cause it's so good. :) Excellent job, I look forward to reading more of your work.
This is a really great idea! I love that you took a classic story and molded it into something of your own- the whole time I kept saying to myself "This is so cool!" haha The only things I think that could be improved is general comma mistakes, like in the first line (where a comma isn't needed between dash and a)- but hey, we all make those little mistakes, right? Overall this was very well written and super creative. I loved it and TOTALLY wished you had kept going after it ended. Awesome job :)
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