I like this poem! Very unusual, but true. Music does so many things and has so many benefits. Even exposing a baby and/or children to classical music can make them smarter. Amazing!
Keep writing!
I like this poem, although personally I do not believe in spirits of the dead wandering. But good poem structure and no errors noted. My husband was a soldier once and I am so glad that I did not lose him like that! It is a true duty of bravery that demands respect.
Keep up the good work!
Wow! I really liked this one a lot better! This sounds more like deep pain after a break up or something. I can relate more to it. The first one was so original that I guess I thought no one could feel that pain but the writer. I feel a little bad that you changed it cause of something I said. But I hope there is no hard feelings...
I really like your work. It shows disciplined character.
Good structure and balance. No errors or misspelled words.
I love it! Points well taken and needed in today's society. I see myself as an environmentalist. I really care about keeping the Earth clean and healthy, especially because I have two kids that look up to me for instruction. I have always felt this is an important matter---trees. They are used for practically everything now and not truly appreciated for their natural abilities. I make it a point every time my children and I go to a park, to pick up litter and it teaches them the importance of keeping the Earth clean and my 9-year-old already does it on her own as she says, "Shame on those people! There is a trash can right there at the edge of the park. They are not thinking of the animals that might try to eat it and get choked or hurt!" (She is a remarkable young girl with a great vocabulary, if I do say so myself!) Also, we have talked about how trees help us in so many ways. And they love going "out in the country" where many trees abound far better than going to an amusement park. I think that is the way God intended it to be! But it has to be taught and brought to our attention.
I saw only a few grammatical errors in your writing. A couple of times words were used in the wrong tense, I believe. Meant was used when I think it was supposed to me "mean". And in the tree's first complaint, it reads..."In the past, I didn't complaint" when it should be "complain" without the "t".
The flow of the writing was good and very dramatical and persuasive. Anyone who does not notice or care about trees and the environment might learn something here. Keep up the good work!
That is short, sweet and to the point! I think most everyone wants to be loved. And you have made a valid point in just a few simple words. There is more than one kind of love and you made clear what kind you wanted. Very direct! Not a selfish love or love from pity...a love of love. At least, that is how I understood it. I like it! Keep on writing! I look forward to more of your work.
Wow! To be honest, I usually do not read Sci/Fi, but this was suspenseful and appealing. A good read! Well written but a few misspelled words and grammatical errors...
"I" was not capitalized a few times throughout and in the last bit, computer was spelled computor.
But the form was good and the story, for me, was thrilling!
Something new to be discovered around every corner. Good job!
Oh I love the revengeful spirit in this poem! I too have felt this way about someone before. Breaking up is hurtful and even worse when they go to someone else so fast.
Great choice of words and the fact that they do not rhyme does not hurt it at all.
Wonderfully written! Good work!
I liked your character sketch. It has a lot of information, but I feel it needs a line or two about his life from day to day. For example, you put he is a watchman and he carries a bag to hold objects in. I am curious what his life is like everyday and what objects he picks up. Overall, it is written very well and very interesting!!
I hope this is not the way you personally feel. Sad!
Good poem though. I can only imagine how depression feels.
I am a pretty upbeat person.
Anyone can be depressed or be happy. You are the master of your mood and attitude.
I truly enjoy reading your work! I can relate to this poem. My dad is working while retired after my mother has had several strokes. I think working does keep a man sane.
My Hats is a wonderful poem! Your professional life has definitely taken a lot of time to achieve and a lot of hard work, but your writing seems so natural. It is like you are talking to the reader face to face. I love your rhyming technique! Your style sounds Old English but is made modern by your words. Brilliant!
Real life is the best thing to write about I think. My mom is going through a similar situation. I really like the poem starting off on a positive note. The mom should be happy she is alive, but she sounds stubborn. Very real!
I love this poem! I can relate...I was very shy in school. I never raised my hand in class or spoke up. The teenage years are always challenging. Now as an adult, I have made myself be outgoing. It is alot more fun than always being quiet. And no question is a bad one!
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