I like the story you are telling, but there are a few issues (which is why you asked for a review, of course). The biggest issue I see is your use of adverbs. Adverbs are nobody's friend, but rather should be viewed as a tolerated guest.
Two books I always recommend are "The Elements of Style" by Strunk and White, and "On Writing" by Stephen King. I rely on the former for structure and syntax, while the latter is great for the editing process.
Keep working on your story. I'm interested in seeing your progress.
Greetings. I am really enjoying this site, and it has been quite beneficial and helpful. I do have one problem with formatting, however. In my portfolio I have a tale that has a large section needing to have a different margin setting than the rest of the story. Specifically a woman is reading a letter and I would like to be able to set it apart like we see in books an such.
Is this possible, and if so, could you help me and possibly include it in the "how-to" section?
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