Wow. This is amazing. I love it. The only thing I could ask is if you could go into more details on the later seasons. Fall and winter seem significantly shorter. I don't know if that is intentional, but I would have liked more from them. I feel like hot chocolate is more associated with winter, I would suggest hot cider instead. Those are only small things though and again I love this poem.
Wow, this is very interesting. I definitely want to know more. Is Rose psychic? Is it a super power? What were the other times if this clearly isn't the first? And of course I want to know if she ruins her friendship over a boy?
I really like this concept. Everything goes together and gives in to your idea of time as a person. Except this one part:
"And into her nose,
Where all your memories they flows-"
It doesn't work as well as the rest. It's a little awkward and throws me off. I get everything else and enjoy it. If you fix this little part it would make the whole thing exponentially better.
You have "Ask the rapids get faster" and I think you meant "As the rapids get faster", and you have "I'm drowning the the river" I think you mean "I'm drowning in the river". Other than those two sentences I really enjoy the Irish connotation. If you fix those little things I would definitely rate 4 or 5 stars.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 5:23am on Apr 02, 2025 via server WEBX1.