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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/dazjem
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10 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by UK Pen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Is there more of this to come?

The only thing I see you doing wrong (and I am guilty of it too) is the occasional spelling mistake and punctuation

"dimond necklace that was stuck on a bush, and her hair"

in this scentence there is an "a" in Diamond and I would maybe consider changing the remainder of the line to "necklace which was caught on a bush"

On the whole I enjoyed the piece and thought that your dialogue flowed really well.
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Review by UK Pen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I'm not really sure what to say about this, you have captured what many people feel, not just in America, but in the uk too.

I especially liked the last two verses the way the intesity and pace pick up delivering the message of what is happening with BOTH our govenments and then the last verse is almost like you have taken a long deep breath, coposed yourself and said "now this is how we fix it!

I wish I could write meaningful poetry like this
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Review of Where Did She Go?  Open in new Window.
Review by UK Pen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I didn't enjoy this as much as "once upon a merry go round" but you obviously have a talent for poetry. Like I said in a previous review, you have a talent for childrens poetry and I could imagine reading it to children and them enjoying it.
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Review by UK Pen Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I think it flows nicely but perhaps needs to be broken into verses as I found my self wanting to come up for air.
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