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176
176
Review of Mum was Cranky  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Greg M!
Saw this in The "Short Stories Newsletter (January 15, 2020)"  and had to check it out!
This is really good, and I can see why it won the Daily FF Contest. Congratulations!
I wasn't sure where this was going at first. Who was this Neville character? A baby brother perhaps? And why exactly is your mother angry at you?
I'm a big fan of surprise/twisted endings (as is Arakun the Twisted Raccoon, and you really delivered with this!
Poor Neville. I'm sure you will miss him. *Laugh*
Great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a great day/evening/week!
PS-I'm returning those GPs to you. It was reward enough just to read this!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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177
177
Review of Soup's On You  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there, Rinsoxy!
This is pretty good. I'm not too sure about calling the soup kitchen patrons 'worthless bums', though (which is obviously why they started chucking their food at you). Sadly, I was in their shoes at one time, and some folks are just down on their luck.
BUT...I do see the humor in the food fight! I like the imagery you gave to this with your descriptions of the patrons throwing the different types of food all around, as well as at you. Pea soup, mushy bread, cream of mushroom. I don't know if you had a word limit on this, but if not I'd encourage you to expand on this! I know it's just flash fiction, but I can see a few more humorous things happening here!
Great spelling and telling, but I did spot one tiny speech tag niggle:
"Who started this?" The upright cop asked. (The shouldn't be capitalized. If you're interested, I'll leave a short article about speech tags below)
Otherwise, nice job!

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Kee ponw ritin gon, Rinsoxy! Thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous evening and a fiendishly fabulous new year and decade!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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178
178
Review of The Smart Thing  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Bon jour, ♥HOOves♥!
As far as weather is concerned, I’ve been lucky to live in Texas for the last few years (if you consider living in TX lucky), but having spent most of my life living in N. California and Alaska, I know all too well what slipping on ice and thundersnow is all about!
You did a nice job of showing us one of those ‘stay in bed days’, and I also believe that dogs and cows and probably most animals know better than humans not to venture outside whilst the weather is miserable, lest it make us miserable! *Laugh*
Well done, my bovine friend! Congratulations on the Cramp co-victory!
Kee ponw ritin gon, have a wonderful day, and may your barn always be comfortable and warm!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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179
179
Review of Complex Numbers  
for entry "Tougher Than the Rest" 
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
G’day, Robert!
Oh, to be young again!
This is pretty good, and it brought back a lot good and not-so-good memories. More of the former, though, I’m happy to say.
I enjoyed the way you told this. Some might think you’re bragging, but I see as it being honest. Most young men are young and stupid (as opposed to being old and stupid *Laugh*) when it comes to the allure of beautiful women. We can’t help it, it’s just Nature. We’re built that way.
I’m sure you had some 2nd thoughts about going out shooting with that husband (Gulp! Another *Laugh*), but you faced your fears, and that says a lot. At least you knew had some knowledge of guns beforehand, though, so I’m sure that helped a bit, even though they were old Revolutionary style muzzle loaders.
Besides, turned out you were the better shot!
I’m 54 now, but as I said, I’ve still got some good memories to hold onto.
When I was barely 18, my girlfriend’s father found out she was pregnant, thanks to my girlfriend’s cousin who was supposed to be sworn to secrecy (yeah, right! *Angry*) . I was told I was supposed to call him, and reluctantly, VERY reluctantly, I did. He asked me what he should do about it, and I said ‘probably shoot me.’ He chuckled a little, and then said, ‘No, that would be too easy.’
I ended up marrying her, but ironically she was ALSO a flame-headed vixen! I’m a sucker for redheads, even though I know they’re the most evil creatures to ever walk the earth!
Thanks for sharing this, Robert! And *Music1* thanks for the memories! *Music2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, and have a fantastic day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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180
180
Review of Dude!!!  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Rinsoxy!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece, and that ending was indeed twisted. Granted there was more telling than showing, but since this was written in the first person, that's to be expected. To be honest, at first I was thinking this was going to be based on a true story, at least until I got to the gun part.
I like the 'superpower' reference, but I'm not quite sure why you killed Mattie. Jealousy, perhaps? That would be the motive I would suspect.
I also enjoyed how laid back you were after you did the deed. Oh, yes. The job is done and now you can relax...*Sleepy*
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle:
'Rudy’s mouth flopped open and closed silently(.) it was almost like he was a goldfish.' (should be two sentences)
Otherwise, well done, my fiend friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have a wonderfully wicked day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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181
181
Review of Frustration  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Latenlove!
For your 1st piece on here, this is pretty good. Granted it's a bit sad (I read your port intro and saw that you tend to write about depressing and sad things), but I like the way you wrote this. I don't know much about poetry, mainly because I don't understand it most of the time, but I can see what you're talking about here.
I can relate to you're being 'enslaved by mind' comment, as well as the one about words not coming easy for you. But if they don't, you shouldn't think of it as 'torment'. Writer's Block is a very real illness, killing thousands of writers each day (*Laugh* I'm kidding, of course). Seriously though, WB is something we all have as writers, some more than others. But having been writing for so long, I've noticed that the more you try to force the words on the page, the harder it becomes. Yes, sometimes they do flow from the mind, but not often. We need inspiration and a clear mind to bring our stories to life!
Don't let those words get muddled, and don't think you're trapped behind walls. Take you time, and just start out slowly.
Here's something that works for me sometimes if you're really suffering. Try writing a story backwards. In other words, start with the ending and then work from the beginning to get to it.
And as for this particular piece, I think you wrote it perfectly. You said exactly what you felt, and it was easy to understand! And I love the similes and metaphors you used! That alone is a sign of good writing!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Latenlove, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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182
Review of About Me  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, Kevin Green!
This is a really sincere, honest, and open autobiography (one of the best I've seen!), and I commend you on writing it! Not a lot of people would open themselves up so much like this, and that's what I like about it. Not to mention that I can relate to it in some ways!
I can't say I was ever bullied or had some of the 'problems' you had, but I live a life that's similar to yours now. I don't drive anymore, and my romantic life is kaput at the moment. I'm currently living in Texas, 1,500 miles away from my daughters and grandchildren and the few friends I have back there, but here I have no friends! I spend all day here at the library with my virtual friends on WdC, and believe it or not, I'm closer to them than some of my actual friends back in California !
But enough about me, dangit! This is about you!
First off, please don't give up on finding a romantic relationship! I haven't, even though I'm not really trying much lately. Will I ever have one? Don't know. Truth be told, I get along fine with myself-it's the rest of the world I have problems with! *Laugh* But if it happens, so be it.
Here's something else: You're only 3 months and 9 days older than I am! I might not have gone what you've gone through, but age-wise, we're pretty much the same when it comes to wisdom. My point being is don't let life get you down! At the very least you're being self-supporting, which is something I'm not even doing right now. I haven't had a job in a long time, but I'm still smiling, even though I wake up some days wondering why!
It's never too late to change your life around (we're both going to turn 55 in a few months! *Shock2*), but I have plans for the future. Whether they come to fruition or not remains to be seen, but I'm going to sit on my a** and waste what little of my life away!
One last thing: you're a very good writer! I've done more than 12,700 review on here, and rarely do I come across a piece that doesn't have any spelling and/or grammatical errors! And you don't beat around the bush; you say exactly what's on your mind, and I envy you for that! That and your honesty!
Thanks for sharing this, Kevin! I truly mean that! And I'm glad you joined WdC! I'm not a big poetry fan, but I'll check out "About Me"  as I have a chance!
Kee ponw ritin gon (that's my way of saying 'keep on writing on'), and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You now have your 1st fan!
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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183
183
Review of Still the same  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue!
Dang. This is certainly a dramatic piece, as well as a sad one. I hope (and I'm pretty sure) this isn't from personal experience, but writing in the first person almost makes it feel that way.
You did a great job of telling us about her 'problems' which seemed to grow exponentially as time went on, but to have her father say that to the daughter after she'd cleaned up her act was awful! It's like he shattered everything she'd worked so hard for up to that point!
One tiny niggle:
'Apparently she "didn’t need to study(,)” to achieve... (don't need that comma)
Otherwise, good job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have a fantastic day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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184
184
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Dave!
What a nice parody of the loveable Christmas classic song, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! *Smirk2* And a very creative one, at that!
The idea of Frosty being a hit man (or snowman) was great, and I like how you used it for that prompt! With him wearing that top hat (like the old rich gangsters used to wear nice hats and/or clothing), it makes it more realistic.
The spelling and grammar was flawless, and the rhyming was good too. A couple of those stanzas seemed a bit bumpy though, but that's just the opinion of somebody who doesn't know anything about poetry.
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, good luck in the contest, and have a magnificent day!

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#1300305 by Maryann

Goliath With A Santa Hat On


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185
185
Review of Prompt 1 Day 1  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hi there, Ponylover!
For your 1st piece on here, this isn't bad. It's pretty short, but not short enough that we don't know what's going on. Siblings, especially if they're spread out in age, do indeed have contempt for one another, and you did an nice job showing that here. You didn't say how old each one is, but I'm guessing that they're ALL a bit childish to a degree!
Great spelling and grammar, and nice use of the question prompt!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Ponylover, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.
PSSS- I noticed you don’t have any Merit Badges yet. Click on My Account (on the left hand side) > Achievements, and then go back and check your email. You should have a few surprises waiting for you there! *Bigsmile* You only need to do this when you’ve reached certain ‘achievements’.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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186
186
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ahoy, Xiea!
Hmm. I don't know what to say about this, other than it goes against most conventional thought, which is completely opposite from what you have here. Everybody is told to stand up and face their fears, NOT to run away, NOT to cower in the face of adversity, but could they be wrong? Who knows? Perhaps you're onto something here.
But I don't think so. I have a strong suspicion you wrote this tongue in cheek, and if so, well done! Why be normal, eh? Instead of going with the flow, go against it, at least in regards to what all those other 'self-help' advocates say! *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a couple of small niggles:
'and you're drowning in you feelings' (your)
'and running away from what you what suppose to accomplish so long ago?' (awkward sentence)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Xiea! Thanks for sharing this, and have a magnificent day!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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187
187
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Kevin!
This is a good Dear Me letter from a year ago, and although I don't know how many of these things you may or may not have accomplished, I applaud you on at least attempting them.
There a few things on here that were/are similar to my own, the main one being 'that big project'. You don't say exactly what yours was/is, but I have a feeling it's about writing 'that book'. That's what mine is, and I've also been saying that for years. I hope you at least made some progress on it, whatever it was/is!
I also applaud you on doing those contests.
As I said, I don't know how many of these came to fruition, but don't ever give up! And you don't have to wait until a new year to get going again! There's no time like the present, and to quote somebody else, 'We should live every day like it's our last!'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kevin! I know you can do it, and I know I can do it! Now I need to write my own Dear Me letter for this year!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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188
188
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Bon jour, Deathworks, and happy 19th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here!
I don't read goth too often. Not because I don't like it, but I just don't see too much of it. After reading this though, I'm certainly going to be looking for more often!
This is really good, Deathworks!
I can't say this is really a story as much as it's a sad account of what this poor woman has to go through to survive, even though she's not really alive. The fact that the one who promised her eternal beauty and promised her true love would abandon her and leave her so scarred, both psychologically and physically is a great concept, and it's a dark, but sad thing that she has visit her good friends whilst they sleep and without their knowledge in order to keep subsist this way.
A really good, hauntingly beautiful piece, Deathworks!
Comments and suggestions:
'It were all stories well- fit for the darkness she was trapped in.' (They?)
'out casts' is one word
'Sure, there (was) the salvation army and other programs to assist them...'
Otherwise, BRAVO!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on wdC!
PS-You haven't been around here since July! I hope everything's OK!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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189
189
Review of Madman 17  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, MK Wolfe!
For your 1st piece on here, this isn't bad. I'm a lover/reader/writer, and judge of horror, dark pieces, and the supernatural, and the idea of having an out of body experience (especially one like this!) might not be entirely original, but I enjoy the way you put your own spin on it. I won't say the ending was a surprise because I did see it coming, but your prose was excellent, as was your spelling and grammar.
Can the dead go into shock? That's a good question. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. *Smirk2*
I'm not sure who the Madman is, but I'm guessing he's a character (or your Muse) that you're using for this creative writing class? If so, you/he are doing a pretty good job. Flash fiction isn't easy, but you don't seem to be having much trouble.
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and I'm pretty sure you do!), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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190
190
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Hello there, Paul, and happy early 2nd 'birthday' on here!
For a short FF piece, I thought this was great, and I can understand why it won the contest! Congratulations!
I love your sense of humor, and I like how you did this all in dialogue. Poor Floyd. I realize that all new parents have to learn about raising a baby on their own--there's no real 'manual' for it--but this dude really needs to do some reading about the birds and bees! *Laugh*
The spelling and grammar was flawless (thank you!), and the ending was perfect!
BRAVO, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a really groovy day! *Bigsmile*

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#1300305 by Maryann

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191
191
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Jack Henry.
This is a good educational piece about what's happening down under, and I thank you for informing us about it.
Australia is indeed going through one the worst fire seasons in their history, and with over 14 million acres? burned already, it's said that it's only get to worse. I also just heard that over 1 BILLION animals have died!
I don't know if you did some of this tongue in cheek or purposefully sarcastically, but I don't blame you if you did. The people (one in particular U.S. president *Angry*) who say climate change/warming doesn't exist are either idiots or morons or both!
I don't know if it will come to the degree of vegetarianism you assume, but I think it could come dangerously close!
'Beany-boilers'? *Laugh*
Nice job, Jack!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! I look forward to 'chapter two' of this environmental conversation!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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192
192
Review of Dear Me  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Waynemart!
This is great! I need a good laugh today, and you delivered with this! Thank you!
But I also realize you were totally serious with some of these goals, and I commend you on that! I'm 'only' 54, but I'm never going to see 53 again, so I too might as well slow down and start smelling the roses, so to speak.
Yes, it would be a good thing not to forget the wife's birthday, especially since I forget my own ever other year or so! *Laugh*
I won't comment about turning your son into a liberal, but he does deserve to have his own opinion, no matter how many more years he lives under your roof! *Laugh* Actually, forget I said that. That's between you two!
And don't worry about imagining your wife is somebody else when you're doing the wild thing. Hell, we ALL do it, husbands and wives, no matter what the other one looks like or how old they are!
And lastly, I don't know you, but you can consider me one of your friends, even though I might not still be considered young! *Bigsmile* But if I go first, the you have to come to MY funeral!
Kee ponw ririn gon, Waynemart! Thanks for sharing this, and have a most splendid 2020 and a wickedly fantastic new decade!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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193
193
Review of The Contest  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Jacky!
This is different. Good, but different.
I'm guess this is a spin-off of God creating the moon and the stars, only having George and Franko replacing God, right? I'm sure that's what it probably is, but using cheese was a pretty far out analogy of it. Not that there's anything wrong with it—heck, I've used some strange analogies myself—I'm just sayin'.
Great spelling and grammar, and my only suggestion would be to change 'Franco' to 'Franko' in the 10th paragraph.
Otherwise, well done!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and have a fantastic day/evening!

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#1300305 by Maryann

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194
194
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello there, Espinado!
*Laugh* This is good. I love seeing how differently people use these prompt phrases and words, and you hit a homerun with this. Just a shame you got it in late for the contest, but thanks for posting it anyway! I needed a good laugh!
Something else I love are twisted/surprise endings, especially when they're a one-liner right at the end! But to be honest, I was thinking she'd make a comment that she didn't care if it was 20K cycles around the sun until the Bezelleans arrived; she wasn't going to be around in 20K years anyway! *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, but I do have some comments and suggestions:
'She frantically pressed the on the button'
' A doorway opened in the ship and a long ramp came out(,) stopping two yards from her'
'It looked like a human except it was very thin and tall' (this is kind of redundant since you just said in the previous sentence that it was thin and tall)
Otherwise, bravo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Espinado, and have a magnificent day/evening/tomorrow!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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Review of Tell Not A Soul.  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

Greetings, Sunnie, and happy 16th 'birthday' on here!
This is nice free verse poem about somebody I think care about deeply that might have had problems talking about their 'secret' to others, including their family.
OK. I'll be honest. I just read "Danny"  and "Every Day Poem Blog" , which both brought tears this old gargoyle to tears (and gargoyles seldom cry!), and I think this particular piece might have been for Danny (judging by the date this was originally written). I wanted/started to write a review for those other pieces, but I didn't want to bring back sad memories, especially on your anniversary.
So for that I apologize. I tried to find something else to review in your port, but apparently I've reviewed everything else already.
But whoever this is/was directed toward, I still thought it was good. So many people in this world have secrets they're either too ashamed of or too stubborn to share, and in the end they're only hurting themselves. I was guilty of that myself once, and I hope to never to do it again.
Anyway, well done, Sunnie!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-Once again, I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you'll remember the good times you had with your brother.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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Review of This is the UFO.  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Hello there, NOBODYLEARNS!
For your first piece on here, this isn't bad. I can't say it's actually a story per se, but I like the concept of the UFO recruiting people to fight their enemies, whoever they might be. They don't go into too much detail, but I guess the recruits will get all that info when they sign on the dotted line, eh?
I'm not sure if you really need that disclaimer though, but better safe than sorry, right? *Laugh*
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
'United (f)ederations of Outerspace. (federation should be capitalized)
Otherwise, good job! I like your sense of humor!
Kee ponw ritin gon, NOBODYLEARNS, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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197
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Review of Fear  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Vjay!
This isn't bad for a short horror piece. The idea isn't all that unique though, and the ending seemed a bit rushed. We really don't know what happened to the one who was chasing, or even why he was chasing.
There was also a lot more telling than showing in this, which you could fix with some more description. Here's a link for information about that: ""Telling" Vs. "Showing" - Part 1" 
As for your English, yes it's broken, but it's not so bad that we can't read it. Oddly enough the spelling and grammar were pretty good!
Keep on writing on, Vjay, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies"  and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

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198
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Review of Homecoming  
Review by Angus
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Salutations, Beholden!
This might not be the scariest story of the bunch, but I thought it was great, and certainly unexpected! It reminds me of something The Addams Family or The Munsters would have done!
I wasn't sure where this was going on when I first started reading it, but then I saw it was for the 'SCREAMS!!!' prompt and I knew it was going to be good!
The idea of this family get-together and party for the troll (Gurglumpa?) was great, and you did an excellent job of showing just how abnormal this family can be! But as I said, that's what I love about it!
Some of those names for the family and the treats that were passed out also reminded me of the Harry Potter movies, and I like the unusual way you used that prompt!
Tea? Bleah! *Sick* *Laugh*
Comments and suggestions:
‘I submitted to her powerful grasp and survived without any broken ribs’ (yeah, bad memories there, my friend! *Laugh*)
‘Even (i) could not stop myself spitting the stuff out’ (I)
‘apologise to Gurglumpa sometime(,) but not right now’
Otherwise, BRAVO!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a wonderful New Year, and I hope to see more of you entries in "SCREAMS!!!"  in the future!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Lori!
One word for this: really good. No, that’s two words. How about: good. Nope, that’s not what I want either. How about MAGNIFICENT!
I love stories that are sweet and innocent, yet have their dark side that shows what’s really going on in the real world, and you did a ‘lovely’ job with that contrast in this piece. One moment Frosty’s giggling at the spirited snowball fights of the children, the next he’s feeling the agony as they ground their feet into his ribcage as they clamored up his trunk! *Shock2* *Laugh*
Suggestions and comment for an otherwise excellent story!
‘Left to fend for himself(,) was the decapitated snowman’
‘Frosty spied a group of kids running up the hill towards him(.)’
‘He could feel the agony(,) as they stuffed their toes into his belly.’
‘He closed his coal (eye) and prayed for the best.’
‘he would have swiped the sweat from his brow(,) at such a close call’
‘to behold was this talking snowball(.) that the kids all gathered around.’
Love your descriptions! (the white flaky threat *Laugh*)
The only other thing is I think the ending was a little rushed. Maybe if you drew it out bit more? I don’t know if this was for a contest (‘SCREAMS!!! ?) or if there was a word count, but now that it’s over I think you should edit this. But that’s just own humble opinion, for what that’s worth.
But I really did love this story, Lori!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and thanks for sharing this dark and humorous piece about a legendary snowman who had met his inevitable demise, all thanks to a little girl who forgot all about her ‘best friend’! *Laugh*

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The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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Review by Angus
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello there, Elisa.
This is sad piece about what happened on that tragic day, and I like how you told it in your own style. I saw everything you mentioned here on live TV, but I can't imagine what it would have been like to have actually witnessed it first hand. To watch those people jumping to their deaths is probably the most lasting image that I, like you will take with me to my grave. *Cry*
And as for your byline about whether we 'want to see anymore', 9/11 is something we MUST NEVER FORGET, much like Pearl Harbor! It's only by remembering things like this that we insure that they will never happen again!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks of sharing this, and have a wonderful New Year and a most prosperous New Decade!

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#1188309 by iKïyå§ama

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