I ike the detail in this very much. The only suggestion is that you have a couple of run on sentences that could be separated so that it could be easier to read. I would also capitalize the words in bold for maximum effect. At the end "soft singsong voice" seems a little off from the description of the evil spirit
I think that at the beginning with the beautiful love story it is very emotional with aspects of technology intertwined. However, at the end it is all technology and business and the passing of the children seems rushed over. If he had that much emotion over his wife than it stands to reason that the telling of the kids' deaths should be more emotional
I think that this work streams with thoughts and perhaps you did that on purpose to indicate the many thoughts and actions of your disorder. There is one spelling error in the paragraph that starts "internet shopping" and i think that all the ideas pertaining to that could be in the same paragraph. The last couple of paragraphs could be organized a little better-but at the end of works alot of writers purge out their final ideas in order to make sure its in thee and it always needs fine tuning. I enjoyed this very much
This is very emotional and personal except for the last couple of lines. It is pure business at the very end and it is almost like you shut of the emotional. This is a good topic with great imagery. I understand you could be abrupt at the end on purpose but it seems that by using "satire" you almost dismiss how personal it seemed to you.
it should be a little more specific. Oddly I got alot of reviews at first and someone gave me a paid membership and now hardly anything. You should ask about frequency and quality of reviews
The test was easy to take and the category istj that i was in was not one of the ones to choose from. The voting process should have more of an explanation because my specific category and others may not be included so you may mention that fact. otherwise a great insight
I think this is quite amusing and did you do research on this because these are precise questions. However, there should be more questions available before an interpretation could be made. If this was made longer it would be perfect. Keep on writing you have humor in your blood
Excellent! You describe s process of rehabilatation and the reader can take it literally or use it as a metaphor for something in their lives. great job at leaving a little window for interpretation. the language is alive with imagery and the reader is sucked into the your world
This is very uniquely presented and i would if you were trying for a certain meter. "I gripped my clover"doesn't quite make sense becasuse commonly a four leaf clover is good luck. "it hits her pow" is strong but it gives off the wrong emotion. A very strong piece
The beginning needs to be broken up into more paragraphs for an easier read. Other than that, it is full of fetail and the reader can step right into it. Great job developing your characters. The sentence that starts with "Laurie in first paragraph needs to be broken into several
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