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Review of Carpe Diem  Open in new Window.
Review by NeoFyte Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Read it three times. Very interesting.
I'll start with form, with a few relevant content comments between brackets.

At first the layout seemed too parceled (Suggesting a slightly erratic writing style that occasionally takes the reader by surprise with random thoughts), but the way the point is brought home and the story told eventually made me understand the necessity for such an artistic choice.
It's definitely short. At times bordering on too-short if I may be so bold (Given the depth of the subject matter), putting the process of trasmitting the ultimate message at risk, but it somehow manages never cross the thin line and feel too rushed. A hearty well done on that front.
As for the storytelling itself, although the subject matters at hand did not feel exceptionally original, it was very interesting to read on and steadily discover what your motive was, how you went about illustrating your point and, more importantly, how you would carefully unveil the metaphor.

I do have some minor criticisms that I would urge you to take with an open heart. The use of "Now" as a paragraph opener rang a bit false at times, I personally like to keep it to a minimum as it works better in speech than in writing.
Also, I've always had a niggle with "Far too gone", I believe it's grammatically wrong. Hence the use of the more common "Too far gone".

Overall, a concise and thought-provoking piece. I very much enjoyed it. Thank you.
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