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12 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
This is unreadable. You might wish to examine one of your favorite books and see how it was written, instead of reading it.
2
2
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
Exposition is to be avoided. Passive voice is to be avoided.
3
3
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
You might wish to understand what "exposition" is and learn to avoid it.
4
4
Review of Djinn Tonic  Open in new Window.
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
I ceased reading after the first five sentences. The writing is telling the reader what is happening instead of showing the reader. It is also in passive voice. Writers should understand these two issues.
5
5
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.0)
No hook; exposition instead of showing; looks like a first draft.
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6
Review of Half-Die  Open in new Window.
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
Incomprehensible; Sloppy development; sub-standard writing basics; too much going on; gives nothing to the reader that will encourage the reader to keep reading.
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7
Review of The Empty Chair  Open in new Window.
Review by David Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
New and/or non-established writers will wish to avoid first person POV present tense.

Also, you will wish to avoid using the same verb ("see") more than once in a sentence.
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