The story seems interesting in that there has been an unusual circumstance and my curiosity is peaked to learn what that is. However, I was finding difficulty getting to that point of the story where you expressed "all the wealthy merchants were murdered off." There was a lack of action going on, but rather, a biography of the character that did not really express much "telling" information about past or upcoming events. Suggestions like we were forced to farm life since the change of commerce... or the world was different now... Placing these earlier in the story give some anticipation to upcoming events etc.
This is just from a readers point of view. Great job. Interested to see more.
This is a great chapter and definitely leaves me wanting to read more. In the begining I was having a little confusion about the nature of the girl being taken to the lords house. I think I needed something to explain that a little more in order to clarify the taking of the little girl and the nature of the introductory circumstances. Once I got my head around that, the circumstances the priest was faced with was a great dilema and the contemplation excellent. Your word usage was nice, not overdone and mixed well. To think, this isn't my favorite genre, however, I enjoyed it. Well done.
The message is great. It took me to the end to figure out how to tie in what I was reading. What I mean is I was missing was that something was gripping him from the start, but in the end, loved the summary. Get the reader to start asking a question from line one and two.
I like this, it has an element that everyone can relate to. I am not by any means a professional writer, with that said, if you could pull me in a little further with description of feelings, I would love it.
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