Hi from Loraine ~ will be back soon  !
I'm reviewing this work for you as part of three things: was the story that catched my attention and that of the other benefactor who gift you the membership, you're part of the "Invalid Item"  and you requested it on "Invalid Item" . Here is my honest review.
MY FIRST IMPRESION
 You have a situation, on your story, that affects lot of families all around the world currently.
You are working a difficult theme to show and are managing a nice story.
You have so much pottential that if I give you a 4 star rating you will not work with it. But even if I give you a 1 rating you will clearly try to work even harder on it. I know you can do a better job with this piece. I will give you part of my edition as well, but the rest will arrive via e-mail on a Word document that is completely on color and with all the suggestions. So far I'm still 30% of the story editing.
GENERAL COMMENTS ON YOUR STORY:
On the course of my writing career (that is still starting) I've learned and I'm trying to pass it on to others. The area I'm learning now is description. It is a good thing I bought the book "Description (Elements of Fiction Writing)" , because it is easier for me to see one of your problems area. I will try to show you how to improve it as well.
The setting (and I'm refering to the mood) is not really stablished here. You must carry the reader through your story in an accordingly mood to the content of it. That way you will catch the reader from the beginning of your story. Most of all I'm concentrating on the Word document, on simple adjustments. Some time later you will be able to do a major revision to it. I'm sure you are capable of doing so.
One of the things your benefactor and I saw in you is your pottential as writer. We liked the way you work your story and how you put some effort on it. You're a newbi and that makes us try to help you work on your piece. The first time I saw your piece I didn't know how to start reading it as there were no spaces between paragraphs and your story is a long one, I noticed ther are spaces on some parts of your story. Not all, but you're going there. I wll be showing you some other spaces you need to add.
I was not able to know your characters as I would love to do but you must work on that area. I think you can find some suggestions in the following links:
There is always another way to know your characters. It is creating a character profile. When you know who your character is and how he/she thinks you can work better your story. Here are two links I will include with templates:
SOME CORRECTIONS DONE SO FAR:
The blue means this is what you wrote. Pink means my suggestions on the grammar or story telling area The purple are some anotations or comments. Notice that sometimes it is difficult to edit the colors and add or omit tags if you notice I finish it all in only one color. Please forgive me, it means I commited some error and didn't noticed it.
Jake eased back into his recliner and closed his eyes. He could hear Mary in the kitchen humming an old song as she made them some lunch. The tune sparked a memory of long ago when they built this house. It had taken years of hard work and saving the money to build their dream home and horse ranch. The night the two of them moved in, they danced in the living room to an old love song. He remembered how they looked back then, and how they were so full of life and energy. Their love had grown over the years into something very special and rare. Jake remembered the birth of their three children and how they raised them in this house. They were all grown and gone now, so Jake and Mary had gone full circle and were alone once more.
Jake was jolted back to the present as Mary placed a plate of food on the table beside him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. What were you thinking about so intently?” Mary asked.
Jake took her hand and said, “That song you were humming made me think about the night we moved in here, and how we danced right over there. Also how we raised three wonderful children in this house. Now look at us, all old and worn out.” [divide the paragraph here]
Mary nodded and went back into the kitchen to get her plate. It made her want to cry sometimes to see how Jake had changed over the years. It seemed like everyday he was forgetting something. Most of the time it was little things, but just now he forgot about two of the other kids they had. She wondered if it was Alzheimer’s but when she tried to talk to him about it a couple of weeks ago he got mad and stormed out of the house.
Mary took her plate into the living room, sat down and took a few bites. “Jake, you know Thanksgiving is coming up and all five of our kids will be here with all the grandchildren. Do you think we need to get the bedrooms in the barn ready?” [divide the paragraph here]
“Yeah, I guess so, that’s what we built those rooms for?!” Jake said but looked puzzled. [divide the paragraph here]
Mary asked,[space here]“Whats wrong sweetheart?” [divide the paragraph here]
“I’m confused, you said five kids and we have three kids.” Jake said. [divide the paragraph here]
Mary went and sat down beside him and said, “No honey we have five kids. Henry, Daniel, Kara, Dana and Kelly. Look at my mother’s ring you bought me, there’s five stones, one for each of our kids.” [divide the paragraph here]
Jake was close to tears and said, “How could I forget a thing like that?, those kids are my world!. Oh God, Mary what is happening to me?” By the time he was finished they both were crying openly.[divide the paragraph here]
Mary held her husband close to her and said, “You know it could be something medical that’s making you forget things, please let me call Dr.Davis and get an appointment.” [divide the paragraph here]
“Oh, please Mary don’t ever tell the kids I forgot them, it would devastate them.” Jake cried.[divide the paragraph here]
Mary whispered close to his face, “You don’t have to worry, I won’t tell them that and I will be right here for you no matter what.” [divide the paragraph here]
“Alright, make the call.” Jake sadly said. They held each other close for a few more minutes. When she made the call the nurse told her to have him there the next day.
When they got to Dr.Davis’ office the next day Jake was a nervous wreck, mostly because he didn’t want to face what he might hear. The doctor did a thorough exam and then a verbal Alzheimer’s test. “Jake my old friend, you didn’t pass the test. I need you to go over to the hospital and get a CAT scan and be back here in the morning for me to give you the results.”[space here]Dr.Davis said. [divide the paragraph here]
Jake did as he was told and got the CAT scan but he already knew what the outcome was. He knew in his heart that he has Alzheimer’s and the next day in the doctor’s office it was confirmed his suspicions. The doctor said explained that it was probably in its middle stages and that they should consider a nursing home or assisted living home. That hit Jake like a ton of bricks. Never once had he considered this would happen to him. Jake was in such a state of shock that Mary had to lead him to the car and put him in it. He felt like he was walking through a thick fog and couldn’t find a way out. When they got home Mary got online to look up Alzheimer’s and any helpful information she could find. Jake looked at the info with her but when he saw a statistic on death rate he panicked. He stormed out of the house and went to the barn. He cried, he threw things and cursed out loud at the hand fate had dealt him. After he was done ranting and raving he got his act together and started cleaning up the barn.
Mary was worried about him but decided he probably needed some time alone. She had held it together for him and now she let it all out her own way. Mary cried and beat up a pillow and cried some more. She made herself calm down and went to the barn to check on him. She took fresh linens for the beds so it wouldn’t look like she was just checking up on him. He was cleaning up a mess he had made when she walked in. He could see she had been crying also and held her in his arms like it was the last time he would ever hold her. They helped each other way into the afternoon to get the barn ready for company. When they got back to the house he took a shower and lie down on the bed and cried. Mary curled up behind him and held him very close. “Why is this happening to me…to us? I am so scared Mary, I don’t know what to do.” Jake said as he softly cried. [This paragraph has a lot details that are not important through the story. Try to resume your story on the bedroom after they went to their chores.] [divide the paragraph here]
“Sweetheart, I don’t know why but I do know we will get through all this together one day at a time.” Mary said.
Jake had stopped crying and said, “Lets go get something to eat and get back online again. I need to learn more about this so that I can deal with it a little better.” They went downstairs hand in hand and ate some roast beef sandwiches and faced the computer again. “You know I trust Davis but I really want a second opinion, do you think we can find a doctor that specializes in this?” Jake asked. [divide the paragraph here]
“We can sure try, but will you promise me something? Promise me that you wont shut me out again. This affects me also. What hurts you also hurts me.” Mary said softly.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart, I’ve just been paralyzed with fear. I didn’t mean to close you out. I should have realized you are scared and hurting also. I promise not to shut you out again.” Jake said as he gave her a small kiss. Knowledge is power. So Jake and Mary tried to learn as much as possible about this illness and also found a doctor about a hundred miles away that deals with it.
Here is some links you would like to try on the grammar area as well, I have some favorites I included between them:
And here are others you can find usefull as well:
Hope this review you found usefull and would you continue creating so many works as you're able! 
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As excellent as the first part with some exceptions. 
It all ended too fast. I was waiting to delight in so much action and dialogues. The honey you sent to this diabetic reader was not enough as it was on the first part. 
What about "A fallen Angel"?
Believe it or not, so far I couldn't find anything outside the comments and suggestions. That's a first in months!
I'm so glad I picked this story! I laughed so much remembering the times when I did the same. "Dad can I have a pet?" and after he asked where would we find one, I will tell hime, well it is over there or here and that kind of things. 
As you noticed for my various e-mails, this piece was difficult to rate and review. It is an excellent piece to introduce a story. 
I must admit this story has a lot of potential. You didn't catch me but I decided to continue anyway. 
What you don't need
The most important thing to create a contest is to create rules easy to understand. 
Give enought time to the reader to create his/her piece. 
Keep On! Create it and motivate other people to create pieces like this one. 
You got wonderful descriptions on this chapter. I felt like part of the story. 
This is a lovely romance. I found you followed the prompt and sugested something more than a kiss but it was masked. 
I liked the message in the poem you wrote. 
Now, this is an excellent piece! See, you could do it! The only reason for not to give 5 
I loved your story. Hope this ideas can help to improve it more and could give you a really good idea on how to create the mood and setting for just this chapter. I will go to the next tomorrow or in the weekend.