You've painted a very clear picture of Aran, truly a man of action. You've set up the scene well with the pigeon, as it weaves seamlessly into Aran's present predicament. You have a good eye for detail and the storyline unfolds in a logical, quick moving sequence of events here.
The repetition of the first line works well here for the balance of the poem. Ending with two couplets is a good touch, and your overall approach is appealing here as you take in the whole subject with precise, hardly over-worked phrasing. It's jsut long enough to get its point across.
This a very good story of man and machinery. You take the reader on a detailed ride of this infamous family truck. A good dose of the farm life adds a distinct flavor to this very interesting piece. It is not overdone, and tends to end just on the right note.
Your points are well-taken, and your views have been well thought out. I think that the rate that technology is racing by us at warp speed, it is easy to feel a bit left out of the main stream of things. Your writing and style is realistic and convincing in its presentation.
This is a real coming-of-age story that moves along with vivid detail. You cover a lot of ground with your characters and with a style that puts the reader in the moment. Your ghost sequence works well, although at times the dialogue seems a bit overdone. Nonetheless, this is a good story.
You get to the point very quickly, with very lean description that adds to the mood of this short piece. Your setting, and placing yourself in the storyline adds to the scene, with a touch of innocence that adds to the overall theme of this piece.
Those are all great tips for self-promotion. The tips will go a long way towards getting better results regarding publication. I think the email signatures alone is a great place to start, and I will begin to incorporate that for my stories that I have listed.
Done very well, it has a great rhyme scheme, as one line blends in with the next. It is a smooth poem that results in a well thought out visual tone. Breaking it up into stanzas, every four lines or so, would help it become an even better, visually speaking, poem.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/drafter
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 1:47am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.