If they are truly in love they should let thier wives know. Even though the wives maybe upset, it's better for the guys to tell them then they find out that their husbands are cheating on them with a guy.
An odd twist, I liked it. It held a strong sense of reality, and truth. The humanity portrayed in this, mirrors the invincibility of superman himself. Wonderfuly displaying the world veiws, and most importantly, the trial that a normal teenage biy normally faces in their everyday life. I saw a bit of myself in this story, although I have never tried drugs, I have had several, merciless persecutors. I love how he only wanted off, nothing more, he didn't want to die, just leave. It was a wonerful read, I enjoyed it, keep up the good work.
Not bad, The only thing I would change is your Point of veiw. It got boring hearing the same things over and over again, and If there is one thing you don't want to do it's bore your readers. You have it in 1st person, causeing you to have to write two paragraphs to get both sides of the story.You may want to swich to 3rd person, that way you can put the same information in a smaller space. Here is an example.
Yours:
After Alex finished his puking, I pulled him into a strong hug to comfort him.” Alex, you have to report this guy.” I whispered in his ear. He was still trembling.” No” he whispered. I just then noticed he was crying. I pulled him closer and kissed him on the head.” I just want to forget about it Jack, please?” he pleaded in my arms.” Okay” I whispered, “ Just calm down”. I kissed him on the head again. It made me feel better.
When I stopped puking, Jack pulled me into a strong hug. I started to cry. I was so embarrassed.” Alex, you have to report this guy.” He whispered. I could feel his warm, moist breath against my ear.” No” I was about to continue when he kissed me on the head. It felt so good. It made me feel better.” I just want to forget about it Jack, please?” I pleaded, he whispered something, but I didn’t hear what it was. I drifted off to sleep in his arms.
3rd person:
After alex finished puking, Jack pulled him into a strong hug to comfort him. "Alex, you have to report this guy." Jack whispered. Alex, still trembling, answered with a soft
"No." And tears started to flood over Alex's face, and when Jack noticed it he pulled Alex close, and kissed him on the head, comforting alex more. "I just want to forget about it jack, please." Alex pleaded in Jack's arms,
"Okay, just calm down." Jake whispered, lightly kissing the sleeping Alex.
You see, Third person states the same amount of information in a shorter space. Thus keeping your readers attention on the story. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and keep up the good work
You are an excelent writer. I love your works. They flow so beautifully, and hold so much emotion. Keep up the great work. I can't wait to read more of the "Love bites"
The end was a bit abrupt. The killing couls have been a little slower. more expert-Serial-murderish. And the girl should have had a reaction, be it joy or sad or contemptment. It ended well wit the "thanks big bro" but keep up the good work
It was good. I must say one thing. Where did the tree come from? Besides the title you never mentioned him near a tree of any kind. Other than that it was good, I like how he unwound before the suidide part.
I have liked all your stories, or poems. I'm not sure which, either way they are beautiful, and flowing. They fill me with emotion. You are a wonderful wrighter. keep up the good work.
0.0 Did not expect that. At a part it reminded me of edgar allen poe's Tell-tail heart. I loved it. It was a tadbit sad, but we all can't have happy endings. Keep up the good work.
Honestly i don't think people ca answer this for you. it all depends on who you wan't to know, and can trust. I am happy you are trying to get answers, but this is one thing you need some support on. if you can find another gay/bi person talk to them about it. They understand what you are going through.
wonderful. this was so full of emotion, I cried. It was one of the best storys i have read so far. i could feel everything, see everything. beautiful detail. absolutly stunning. It had a perpose not sensless sex. I loved it.
This was great, a few little mistakes like forgetting spaces but it happens. The story was clear, and i could feel the relationship between the two. All in all it was a wonderful read and i enjoyed it. The grammer was spot on and well writen. please continue.
it's a good question but the answer is simple. Erotica is just a form of wrighting, weather it's an art or not is up to the reader, not the writer. even if the writer sees it as art dose not make it art to someone else. so truly it's in the eyes of the beholder.
it had me going but eventually once they started talking i didnt really understand. the grammer was not the best. but the events were ok. i would have enjoyed it more if the spelling, grammar, and words were clearer. I do hope it continues but please take into account what i have wrighten here.
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