Very well written. Good sentence and word structure. The Author has a good grasp of what a witch does. I enjoyed the imaginary and detail. To me, it is a story of believing in yourself and trust your intuition. Penny made a great addition as a not really witchy person but a very open minded and trusting friend. We could all use one. Great read.
Very well written. Wonderful sentence and word structures. The Author has the gift of imaginary and storytelling. I enjoyed this story very much. Few realize that most of nature is here to teach us if we only open our minds to the endless possibilities. Great story.
Very good read. Well developed sentences. Good, short back stories on characters, enough to know them but not weighted down with particulars. To me, this is the story of the school yard bullies who finally picks on the new kids without any clue of the new kids abilities. Sometimes it is better to study the situation before one rushes in. I think that, in their arrogance, they did not believe there was anyone in the universes that could possibly match up to them. Enjoyed this story.
Very well written and sad story. There was not enough there to bond with the woman but enough to feel her sorrow and grief. This story tells me about the many woman who face something like this everyday and have nowhere to turn. It also tells me that it possible a decision is required of her. Accept the Doctors words and abort the child, take it on faith that it might turn out okay or accept it all and have the child. A horrible decision for anyone to make.
This is an interesting read. Good sentence and word structure. Perfect amount of dialogue. The Author has packed a lot of emotion in a very short read. It draws the readers attention and does not let go. Was able to identify with the main character and sympathize with his dilemma. Good Read.
Very good story. Good sentence and word structure. Great that the unknown words were explained at the bottom. The story has laugh out loud moments and features a great bird rescue. I loved the relationship between the Mister and the Misses. It shows humans in a good light as they round up the Mister and get him help. Good Job.
Packed a lot into a very short read. Fairly good sentence structure, possible missing word at end where it says, "I'm getting old for this." 'Caught his breath," is not a complete sentence.
A quick story about a serial killer of very young girls who drops their bodies in the same lake, year after year.
Good sentence and word structure. I felt a bit like I had walked in on the Cat-In-The-Hat episode. It says to me that the man never uses his reason, wisdom or logic and sees the world in a screwy state. It also says he rarely listens to his logic, reason and wisdom so ends up in unwanted circumstances and wonders how he got there.
Decent writing but felt like I missed something. I get it that it is virtual reality, sort of? But from there, I am not sure what the Author is saying. This thing, whatever it is, happens once a year. Sorry, just don't get it.
Good sentence and word structure.
Humor within tragedy. It does go to show one that twenty-five years of never making a mistake is not good enough for a company. A company likes to call you family until you make a mistake then you become the enemy, maybe that is how some families are? So the sad part is, he loses his job. We can plainly see the humor part. Good job, good write.
This was a fun easy read. Good sentence structure and the words flowed without hitting bumps. It is an interesting view on old magic, and angry old house and a wizards sense of self. It has humor as well as action and makes the reader wish for more. I enjoyed the read very much.
Quick and simple read. This read reminds one of all the little things they did wrong while growing up. It did not matter how small the crime, it was a big deal in the childs mind. And usually rightly so, parents do get mad over the smallest things. We think we will be different with our own kids, but that we are not. Good flow to the writing and sentence structure.
Well written with easy flowing sentences. I applaud the Author for revealing all in such a short story for sometimes the reader is left to draw their own conclusions. It is the oldest story of all ... went you tell someone 'don't' that is exactly what they will do. I do not now why human nature is that way, stubbornness maybe, or the need to be the boss and of course, curiosity.
Yikes, ones looks for insanity here. My thought was that the mother must have been evil when she was alive for her to demand he kill her babies. Either that or she felt they would be better off dead than in the clutches of the man? Definitely a freaky read and thinking it would be a great beginning to a longer horror story.
Well written. Good editing. Interesting story about the power of positive thinking. The Author packed a lot into a short amount of time and was able to get the message through loud and clear. It also shows the power of friendship. Her friends ability to take it all in stride and trust in herself also helps her friend learn to trust herself.
For some reason, my first thoughts by the second paragraph were that Matt was dead. Did not expect him to be dead by her hand. So my questions, not answered lol, did she and Greg kill him together? Why did she hate him that much? This short was very well written and I would wish there were more but it's not called a short for nothing. :) Great read
This is a well written, touching story of loss and love. One of hardest things to do in this life is to see a loved one off. The biggest difficulty is the not knowing where they are or where they are going. This Author did a fine job of expressing the thoughts and fears behind that last, short good-by. Good sentence structure and an easy read.
This Author was able to create a moment with astounding words. The sentences flowed freely, never getting hung up on needless thoughts. The Author was able to make the reader feel and experience every little thing. The cold ice, the fear and the sorrow and finally the release. My thoughts as I finished this read were that this person was ready for the looney bin or was already there as they lived in the darkness of their own hurts and sorrows. Guilt held them back from living. Well done.
A very good short flash fiction. The words flowed well, the action was there and it was an understandable story. I enjoyed the whimsy of it all with the Everlasting Swamp, Eternal Lava etc. The story left you knowing that once the wings of the dragon could not be heard, it was time to flee for the dragon was on the ground. I enjoyed it so much I wished it were longer.
A very interesting childs story. But, my grandson would ask the obvious questions lol. How could they order from a waiter, he was human. Where did the food go. Things such as that. Still the story was very cute, well written and did not feel forced. There was not enough time to become attached to the "characters" though.
Ahahaha, this made me laugh. A very good short read that needed very little back or story or much explanation. What took place happened fast and the Author got his point across without belaboring the point. The reference to Schrodinger the cat had me wondering if the man should not have been named Sheldon. Well done, thank you for quick quirky funny read.
This next chapter feels as though you have gotten more comfortable with the story you are telling. There are still problems with over long sentences and writing in the present tense. It may be that present tense is your style of writing so I will back off from that. The ending is another good hook as the reader does want to know what, if anything, is wrong with this woman. I enjoyed the 2nd chapter and look forward to the next one.
First off a fairly good story, maybe needs just a few tweeks. That is only my opinion and you may disregard as you see fit. I'd like to go by line, hope you don't mind.
1. The present and past tense are hard for a reader to follow. Ex :I still can't really believe it, standing here listening to the message on my answering machine. This sentence might better serve if it is past tense, Ex: I could not believe it as I stood there listening to the message on.....
Repeat words are not necessary to get the message out: Ex: the third "and over" and "a long, long time" one long would serve better.
This sentence should be 2 or 3 possibly 4 sentences, run the risk of losing the reader's interest if the sentences become too long. "Late nights talking via Skype, you speaking discreetly in hushed tones, me staying up late night after night, paying for it at work the next day, my performance falling way below what I'm capable of, and for the first time in my working life, not caring." There are a few sentences through the story that are this way.
All in all, I enjoyed the read and the ending left me curious as to what happens next. It hooked me in pretty well.
An interesting little short short. A few editing errors but nothing extreme. This tells me a story of one who has no wish to be known or recognized. It tells me a story of someone who does not know themselves and prefers it that way, yet one has come along and ripped the mask away to show the truth underneath, but then, the truth is lost in many personalities. Very dark tale.
I may be wrong but I do not see where this should be changed, added to or taken away from. It is obvious that the words come from the heart yet simple and solemn in their verse. It tells me that you went to war not fully comprehending what it meant to you and to the ones who did not notice that you were fighting for their freedom. It tells me you came back changed and see the world differently than what it was when you left it. It tells me you saw things that cannot be forgotten, but maybe someday you will understand the whys of it all. You returned with new understanding. Well written.
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