The story was intriguing to say the least. Rather like being lost in a dream. First a horrible one, then a dream that became wondrous and interesting. The characters are interesting. The story probably deserves more time devoted to it. Perhaps lengthening it a bit into more writing would give it a proper treatment. The pace of the story itself is just a little too quick to give it the proper emotional impact.
I did get some of the emotion you tried to convey, just too quick that's all. Write more on this. Take this as a skeleton and expand on it. I think it might be a great story if longer. This would draw more people in emotionally.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/driskelljbm
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 11:42am on Nov 05, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
