Overview:
This is a short story filled with a mix of emotions. There is a medical setting, personal turmoil, heartfelt emotions, and an important lesson at the end.
Story/Plot:
A couple has an automobile accident, and are injured. The husband has mild injuries and is released, and the pregnant wife has more severe injuries and is treated in the emergency room. The husband waits, both inside and outside the waiting area, but never goes in to check on his wife. The hospital staff judges him as disinterested and therefore a bad husband. The whole time, he was waiting for someone to tell him it was all right to go in to see her. He was in fact a loving, attentive husband, and was severely misjudged by the staff.
My Favorite Part:
The lesson in this story is an important one: Don’t prejudge, so you don’t misjudge. The story is well told, and describes the characters well enough for the reader to relate to them.
Suggestions:
Please take these suggestions as my opinion only
Overall, the story is well written and easy to read. Some of the passages seemed a bit choppy, with partial sentences and short statements. Just one example is:
Fours hours into the admission to the ER. Still no sign of the father. It reads a bit like a news report here. Perhaps this:
After four hours into the ordeal, there was still no sign of the father. Or even simpler:
Four hours later there was still no sign of the father. A read through the piece will reveal several areas that fragments like these can be smoothed out. But even without making changes, the story still reads well and wonderfully describes its subject matter.
Conclusion:
I am in the medical profession, so my first thought was,
I hope I’m not the type of medical staff depicted in this story! But the lesson is for everyone, including me.
I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The author has obvious skills, and a knack for putting emotion into writing. Well done!
EarlyHours