Good job. This poem really captures winter. I am not sure why it is under a childrens genre, though. I am usually not a fan of rhyming poetry but you pulled this off very well. I loved the "sunglight ignites the ivory suede" line. My only suggestion would be to change the last line, I feel that it is not as strong as the rest of the poem. You should end it with a bang so the reader is left thinking about.
Well done. Distrubing, but well done. I really liked the way this was written, my only suggestion would be to make each paragraph as grabbing as the previous. You don't want to loose a reader's attention and that is hard to do with all the little sections. One bad section and its hard to continue. I found the third paragraph to be the weakest, I had to read over several times before I actually really read it. The best is the last, so get the reader there. Last line is haunting and excellent. Good job.
-Ellen
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