Beautiful. I'm sorry about your grandmother. :( Beautiful poetry though. The ideas you're passing through the bowl and porridge hit me. I'm crying now it warms my heart. My great- grandmother is still alive and is 100. She is in so much pain and could die any day. I'm reminded of her because she eats porridge every morning. It's her favorite breakfast. This poem was so emotional and well written. Our emotions tend to make us write the most amazing poetry we may not have even known we had within ourselves. The way you wrote it completely conveys your emotions. Lovely, just perfect. Wonderfully done!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, I chose other. I think her name should be Velicia. It just sounds right for your situation. Although, if you don't like it I'd settle for Aurora. Aurora sounds the most normal but still with the hint of mysticism. Hope this has helped!
Love the poll. Great descriptions! I especially like the fact that you seperated Vampires and the Twilight Vampires. I chose neither. I chose a werewolf but I will let you know, it's not because of the movies and books off of twilight. I just happen to love wolves. May I ask why you put this poll up?
Hey, that was beautiful! It had a real voice, if you will. The only problem I saw was a spelling error and not capitalizing some of your ( i )s. The spelling error was on the word 'tramatic', actually spelled traumatic. Other than those two small things, you have written a truely wonderful piece of work, not quite inspiring yet, but great!!! Keep writing! I hope this has helped!
Hey, I like the overall idea of the poem, but I have a few things to tell you. You have a lot of capitalization errors at the beginning of sentences and on your ( i )s. Lastly, you have one spelling error on the word 'abidence' , it is actually spelled, abidance. Now, on to the good things! Your rhyming never failed to continue throughout. Your rhythm also stayed moderate, no real fluctuations occured. Lastly I like some of your word usage. Ex: "Wrap me in the blanket of my fears." Keep writing! I hope this has been helpful!
Hey, I liked this poem very much. Your use of words was marvelous! Most of your sentences were inspired! Ex: "I will be the grass dancing in the wind" I love personification of the grass 'dancing. Although the title wasn't grabbing, I was curious as to your description hence, me reading this. I suggest you have a title next time though, in case your description isn't grabbing. I hope you write more like this sometime soon! Keep writing!
Wow! I love this so much! The writing is so simple, but it has a great feel to it. This story has a purpose, and a sequence. Normally I have to criticize like all hell, excuse the french, has broken loose! The beginning was not gripping but it pulls you in slowly. Your spelling is wonderful! Your inner spirit and idea of this story has been projected through your beautiful words and imagery. You should post more like this as much as you can! I thank you for the wonderful experience of reading your short story!
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