You have a very interesting mix of items in this folder. I thoroughly enjoyed checking each and every one of them out, and wish I could answer all of the surveys.
The introduction at the top of this folder was simple, but the use of WritingMl was very effective. You did a good job.
First of all, welcome to Writing.Com! I'm glad you joined us in this community and I hope that you're enjoying your stay.
What I liked: This piece is short, but it said everything that needs to be said. The flow was very good, and the words you used were creative. Your wordplay was very satisfying and produced a vivid picture in my mind—good imagery.
My favorite line is Ancient yet ageless, for its irony worked out really well and captured my attention.
What I didn't like: Nothing, really; I just have one suggestion to make:
Suggestion(s): Put a period in the last line. It will make the ending seem more final and create a much dramatic aura.
Overall, I enjoyed reading your work. I hope you add more to your port in the coming days!
Positive Side +
Great wordplay. I also loved the descriptions you used; they made a great impression on me. The flow was smooth without any distractions or bumps. Good job.
My favorite Part:
I find solace in the twilight language of dawn
as I see my inspiration coming on.
Negative Side –
None. The only reason why I rated this 4.5 stars was because I rarely give one, and only hands out the perfect rating when I am very deeply moved by the piece. This was grabbed me, nonetheless.
Suggestion(s):
I have no problems with this, so the only suggestion I can give you is to use WritingML on your piece (center it and bold the title at the top). It can be accessed through the Authors pull-dpwn menu; just click on WritingML help and pick the area you want to know the codes of.
Overall:
I find this a well-written piece. You did a great job in writing it.
Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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This is a great poem. The length is ideal, and the wordplay was good. I love the imagery you presented—it was sort of mystical and mysterious, but blatant at the same time.
I especially liked the third line; it captured my attention the most.
Positive Side + I liked the wordplay of this piece. It gave way to a good, rhythmic flow that made it very easy to read. The rhyme scheme was also very effective—it fits well and there were no distractions.
My Favotite Part:
The Storm surrounds me, causes me to turn,
The Storm engulfs me, causes my passions to burn.
-This was a great way to end the poem.
Negative Side – None.
Suggestion(s): When using (...), always put a space before and after the words that sandwich it.
Overall:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I haven't read poetry for quiet some time now, and this was a breath of fresh air.
Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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I find this a perfect place for newbies. This is a great way to get them involved in the community and better their writing skills as well.
The format of this contest is very easy to understand and follow. The links you provided can also be very useful, especially for those who doesn't know the way around the site well.
I can see that this has been a very succesful contest. Congratulations to your success! You are a great part of the WDC community.
This is one of the freakiest story I've ever read in this site. The narration was effective, and the plot all shrouded in mystery and terror combined. You did very well in writing this story.
I especially liked the detail about the lights blinking three times and the going out. That was a really nice touch—if you can call it that.
I enjoyed reading this. Congratulations on winning the Haloween Masquerade, BTW!
I think this folder is worthy of 4.5 stars because it served its purpose in answering the most commonly asked question about Muslims and Islam. This was an educational ride that had me learning more about the people and the faith.
Positive Side + Nice presentation of all the items in the folder. These are the most frequently asked questions, and you answered them well with a kind heart. I can see that you tried your very best in explaining the subject matters. You did well.
Negative Side – I would've liked the introduction more if it had more flair—i.e., color, etc. Like this:
Discussing many varied topics: Christianity, Judaism, friendship, dating and war.
or
Discussing many varied topics such as Christianity, Judaism, friendship, dating and war.
I was touched by the last two lines of this piece. This was well-written, with a good message behind it. The flow was good, and the rhyme scheme was effective. I found no errors; good job!
The color didn't distract me, infact it worked favorably for the poem.
Judging others has always been dangerous ground for me. That is why, because of a decision I made a long time ago, I stayed on the safe side and refrained from being judgemental, and to pray for those 'arrogant' people instead.
You do present a good opinion about this, though. You should be the princess (or is it prince?) of philosophy in this site.
Again, you take what is a normally ignored fact, tweak it a bit, add in a mix of creativity, and make us wonder where does this writer gets her ideas?
This is another enjoyable read for me. I liked your analogy (mother and father) and the way you presented your thoughts. You made me think once more, deciding that you are right at the end.
Suggestion:
Instead of using (""), I suggest for you to use color. It will make the piece look more interesting; which might lead to more readers rating and reviewing your work.
I agree with the last two lines. It was put together very well.
I was intrigued by the title and the description, mostly because I'm a sucker for poems and stories dwelling on this subject. Also, it reminds me of a favorite book by L'Amour.
I was satisfied with the wordplay, and the flow was smooth without any distractions or bumps.
My favorite part:
My mind’s forgotten, but my body still knows
instinctively that predators rule the night.
and, of course,
‘Though Man evolved higher than dog or deer,
his primitive instincts hide under thin veneer.
Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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Host of "Invalid Item"
Your humorous approach was effective, and I must say that as a female, I agree that most women do fuss over their hair most of the time.
I found one line that confused me a little:
The color might could stand dyeing, if they dare,
It's the underlined words that distracted me.
Overall, the flow was smooth, the rhyme scheme effective and the wordplay good. Most importantly, it was very entertaining. Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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Host of "Invalid Item"
This was a very intriguing start of a novel. I got interested when you mentioned that this was a true story of a woman who took her stand, all the while being a mother of seven children.
I noticed some things, though. I hope they will help you in some way; they are just my suggestions so don't feel like you have to use them or anything.
Have you ever thought about, what it would have been like living over a hundred years ago, in a land that was so alien to you hopes, fears and dreams that death may have not been an enemy? Remove the comma after 'about'
They were not the “premonition” type dreams for the lacked the “special” quality. I think this is a typo. The word should be 'they' and not 'the' <...dreams for they lacked the...>
In each dream I saw the same female, but I never saw a face, but I knew her thoughts, could feel her emotions. This would read better like this: In each dream I saw the same female. I never saw a face, but I knew her thoughts and could feel her emotions.
I am definitely interested in knowing and reading more about this.
Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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Host of "Invalid Item"
You've written this poem well. The words you used were well-chosen and the flow was smooth. I found no distractions.
I suggest for you to put this poem in the Erotica genre, as well as the Romance/Love genre. It fits the theme, and so that the people looking specifically for this type can find it easily.
My favorite part:
The friendship is eternal,
an understanding shared with no one else.
Words enter my mind and leave her mouth.
A connection that is magic, scary,
beautiful.
Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
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Host of "Invalid Item"
Hello,
Great haiku! I like the words you used, and I think that pretty important since this is such a short form of poetry. The color was also a nice touch, and so was the image. It was very well crafted and eye-catching. It goes well with the piece.
This is a really helpful piece. I once got into a rut where every sentence ended up having a comma in it, and it was really frustrating. Thank you for providing us with useful information about it that is easy to read and understand.
This piece gave me a really great impression. The first line hit me with such good imagery that I was prompted to continue reading.
I only found a few things that might require your attention. The lines in red are the exact copy of your work while the ones in blue are my suggestions as to how you may change it. It is totally up to you, though, if you will take any of them or not.
Though you are not sure where you are headed you do know this, you are very aware of where you come from. Though you are not sure where you are headed, you do know this: you are very aware of where you come from.
It is gone before you have the chance to appreciate the abundant emotions it flings into you mind. It is gone before you have the chance to appreciate the abundant emotions it flings into your mind.
It takes you but a moment to realize what it is but the word hits you hard and accurately, control. It takes you but a moment to realize what it is, and then the word hits you hard and accurately: control.
The years pass in the blink of a minds eye. The years pass in the blink of a mind's eye.
One thing I noticed is that there are several parts where the tense shifted. Maybe you should check that out.
Overall, I had a really good read. I enjoyed your work very much.
It's great that you created an item where you showcase the works of other members in this site; after all, all of us needs a little exposure sometimes!
I looked into the links and I found them all fun activities and good reading materials. Finding them all in one place is not only convenient for the writers showcased here but also for other members interested for a good read or a fun activity.
Some Suggestions:
The line
Notice I have broken some off to there own little corner place like: Forums, Groups, Reading, Journals/Blogs, Writing Tips, Advice, In & Out and so on now have a place of there own. I will be doing more as they grow!
may read better like this:
You may notice that I have broken some off to their own little corner place like: Forums, Groups, Reading, Journals/Blogs, Writing Tips, Advice, In & Out and so on, now have a place of there own. I will be doing more as they grow!
The long space after this item ended may also be edited for more convenient reading.
I like the images you added in this piece, especially the one at the bottom.
I liked the descriptions you used in this piece, as well as some of the words. I enjoyed the wordplay and the imagery you presented in the poem.
A few suggestions: Instead of using a dash, substitute it with an M-dash (ALT0151). I noticed that you used the dash several times. You may replace it with a semi-colon to prevent the feel of familiarity and repetitiveness for the readers.
Error: Though I can't see this- the darkness of night envelops me, I suggest for you to change this line to Though I can't see this, the darkness of night envelopes me.
My Favorite Part:
And for the first time- perhaps ever-
I am deeply sad,
I am supremely happy,
I am strangely fearful of the future,
And I am greatly relieved of the weight of the past.
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You have a very interesting mix of items in this folder. I thoroughly enjoyed checking each and every one of them out, and wish I could answer all of the surveys. 
This was a fun piece! 
