I think it's a great idea to do a glossary. Not everyone have knowledge about the mlitary, so this will certainly be helpful when it comes to understanding certain terms.
The outline of this piece is neat and easy on the eyes. The meaning of the terms are also clear.
You did a good job in listing down these terms. Keep writing!
I found this poem a well devised piece. The arrangement was satisfying and almost lyrical, which added to the smooth flow. I liked how you used ellipses to further the emotions in the poem and convey its feelings.
The line Was trying to figure out a maze… was my favorite, for it worked well with the lines before and after it. In my opinion, the verse where this line was included had the best flow.
You painted a very pleasant imagery through this poem. I could imagine a lovely garden with different blooming flowers; it was a really nice scene to expand with words.
The only suggestion I have is for you to add in more punctuation marks; it will help in creating an aura for the poem and will give more emotion wo it, especially when read aloud.
I found no fault to this poem, except for the minor error of the word unpleasant being misspelled (second to the last line). I think you've done the form well; you followed all of the rules and guidelines and produced a satisfying effect. My only suggestion is for you to use a little WritingML and center the body of the poem; it would help make the piece look more engaging and interesting.
This was a really good poem! I don't like dark poetry that much, but this one was written so well that I would have rated this five stars for perfection if I hadn't found some glitches. Here's a breakdown of the pros and cons of the piece:
What I liked:
The words you used were creative and well-placed in the body of the poem. The arrangement was superb and worked really well to produce a smooth flow. It was an easy read and could definitely hold the readers' interest. I found the punctuation marks in their right places—it also helped in heightening the emotion in the poem.
The arrangement of the lines easily gave way to a read that was confortable and almost in a dramatic manner. It made it possible for the reader to understand the meaning behind each word and line, which added to the effectiveness of the poem.
Favorite Part:
By the dark alliance,
obsidan night.
These two lines were repeated several times along the course of the poem, and it worked out positively. It started and ended the piece, which gave it more finality. The play of words were also satisfying and gave room for imagination.
Negative Poinst:
I found a couple of errors. I've taken the liberty to list them down for you, as well as my suggestions for them:
In the line decisions made with callous hearts., the word callous should be in the past tense form. In the line but it waivers when resolve is lacking, I think the word waivers should be spelled as wavers.
Overall:
Overall, you did a great job in writing this. Keep up the good work!
This was a pretty interesting story. Though I don't really know much about baseball, I enjoyed reading this piece.
The Positives: The start was really good; you provided effective imagery. The mysterious and haunting aura of the story kept my interest. You kept me guessing.
The Negatives: Grammatical/Punctuation glitches. The separation of the scenes weren't as effective as the first one.
The Suggestions: Separate the scenes of the past with the present, much like you did with the first two scenes. It's much clearer that way. It also adds more drama and the readers would be more expectant. Of course, if you plan on editing this item, a good reread would be great.
Overall:
I think this would be a really enjoyable story for those who likes reading stories in the mystery/supernatural genre. Keep writing!
I found this interview a really interesting read. As you may know, I've reviewed a lot of Starr's work in her port, so I could connect well with this interview. It gave me more insight to her personality, though, and it's always good to know more about your fellow WDC member!
This was organized with neat headers and questions. I also liked the way you used WritingML—it wasn't excessive but utilized in the right doses. You highlighted what needed to be highlighted for a more easy and comfortable read, and it came out effectively.
The Negatives: Right off, I thought that you didn't put in as much introduction as I would have liked. You came right to the question and answer section without exploring the beginning of the item forst. I only found a couple of punctuation glitches which involved commas.
The Positives: Linking the contest at the top was a good move. It helped me gain insight as to why you even interviewed Starr. It could also gain more exposure for the contest. The easy flow was definitely a plus. The interview was engaging and interesting.
Overall, this was a well-written piece. Keep writing!
This was a good follow-up to the previous piece. It was a glimpse at how George and Caroline may have acted in their personal lives.
The notes at the beginning and at the bottom of the piece was extremely helpful in understanding the story further. The only things I could consider as negative points were how fast the marriage came and those minor grammatical/punctuation errors scattered in the piece.
It was nice to know that there was royalty who had a happy marriage; it was almost fairytale-like.
Again, I enjoyed this romance story. The intrigue, love and history it all presented was very interesting and quickly caught me.
Things that I liked:
-The history was well-researched.
-The characters' attributes and personalities were very realistic.
-The strong bouts of emotions you added were well-paced and understandable.
-You explained their origins well, so as not to confuse the readers.
-The deatil in the narration was effective.
I know that you took this from real personalities, and though I have no knowledge of their background or history, I think that you have spinned their tales well, adding a little fiction of your own to their reality. Good job.
The only negative points in this story were the grammatical/punctuation errors. The latter were much more abundant in number and dealt mostly with commas and semi-colons. The only suggestion I have is for you to give this story a re-read whenever you get the chance and edit those minor mistakes.
Overall, this was an intriguing piece that should receive high ratings.
This was a really engaging story! I enjoyed it from the first word to the last, for it was a unique romance story, as far as I'm concerned; I found its plot original and that was what kept me hanging.
I really liked the flow of this story, and how you told it. I pictured the scenes as if I was also there, and imagined the pumpkins pies. You definitely provided good imagery, detail, and effective narration.
As for the charactres, all three of them, as well as the cat, were likeable. They were realistic, and their attributes could be found in someone you know; hence, heightening the connection a reader like me could feel with them. You did a good job.
There were a few glitches in the grammar department, though they weren't really important and only a minor issue. I highlighted a couple for you and added my own suggestions:
He noticed she didn’t have too many friends, a girl named Karen, who wasn’t in the same classes she was, and, well, him. To make the meaning clearer, you could add the words except for after friends and remove the comma.
Miguel practically jumped out of his shoes! This statement was after a Meow, but I don't think you should use an exclamation point. It seemed too much for me, and I think that a few more words could be added to the line to stress his surprise. It could be Miguel practically jumped out of his shoes at the shrill, sudden sound.
These are great letters that gave such rich imagery, as well as valuable knowledge that they were all entertaining reads. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us and letting us in on your past travels.
The only suggestion I have is for you to add some pictures. It would really help the readers in visualizing the scenes and places you described in the letters, as well as add a little extra to the piece.
Another fun read! You captured the feel of the church very well, and I could almost see it in my mind's eye. This was also a cross between being a letter, a history lesson and a romance story. It was a very entertaining read.
The only negative about this piece was the shifting of tenses. I'm sure that if you edit this item, you could spot and correct them easily.
I think that this was the most informal letter I have read from this folder, and I liked it. It's just like how a normal person would write to a loved one.
I'm a little confused right now, though. Who wrote this letter? In the end, it said 'Your brother'. I'm confused as to who Shelly was, too.
But other than that, this was a well-written piece that conveyed all the right a emotions a person would feel as such a time as that.
I had the impression that this piece was written with words that came from the heart. I do not live in the US so I didn't experience Katrina's force, but I did watched the news and saw some pictures the hurricane had caused. It was indeed a tragedy, but I am glad that you and your family was preserved.
This was certainly an enjoyable and educational read for me. I know little about Germany and its history, so I am glad that through your writing I glimpsed a little bit of its culture. You also fueled my imagination and made me want to study Germany's history.
I noticed a few glitches in the grammar/punctuation area, but I think it was only a minor setback because of the piece's content.
Good Points:
-The surprise ending.
-The scene you created was well constructed.
-Good imagery.
I find no mechanical flaws for this piece. You wrote it well, with a clear knowledge of what direction you would like it to take. The ending was good and the surprising, adding to the effectiveness of the story.
You did a good job with this. Keep writing and God bless!
Equilibrium
For some odd way, I really liked this poem. I wasn't quite sure if you have a rhyme pattern on this piece, but the flow worked well just the same for me. I say that I liked this in some 'odd' way because I usually don't like poems that switch from free-verse to rhyme then back again, but you wrote this beautifully that I immediately got hooked on it. Good job.
Another refreshing piece! I throughly enjoyed reading your experiences as well as the historical tidbits you provided. As you may well kow by now, I love history, and I did a research on King Ludwig II right after I finished reading this. It seemed as though he never married because he was a homosexual.
I also took a look at some pictures of the castles he built. You're right; they are gorgeous! The Neuschwanstein Castle was exceptionally beautiful—almost like something out of a fairytale.
Once again, your writings inspired me. Thank you for sharing this with us.
This was an enjoyable piece to read. I was fascinated by the descriptions of the square; somehow I think it came alive for me.
This piece was also sweet, since you told the story of your fisrt Christmas as a married woman. The short but moving tale of yur love was definitely a nice read, combined with the spectacular story-telling of how life in Germany was.
I found this poem interesting because of the title. When I started reading it, I became more intrigued because of your choice of wording.
What I liked: The wordplay and the smooth flow of the poem. The rrangement of the lines.
Favorite Part:
Your crimes are my
Life's breath,
Your murders
My essence, blood:
Suggestion(s): Use an M-dash (ALT + 0151) instead of just a dash, and do not put any space before or after it. Use a little WritingML. Maybe you can center the body of the poem; it can attract more readers to read it.
The lines And so I drive you before me,
Like cattle.
felt a little out of place within the content of the poem. It's just my personal opinion, though.
This was a really well written piece. I was hooked from the first line to the last; well done!
Positive Points + The world play was exceptionally good; I liked the descriptions you used and how you portrayed the surroundings by using the words creatively. The arrangement of the piece was good; each line complements the one before and after it.
Suggestion(s): I suggest for you to use an M-dash (ALT +0151) instead of just a dash. Do not put any space before or after it. The presentation of the piece was alright, but it would attract the readers more if you use a little WritingML. If you like to keep things simple, you could just center the text.
I found this letter interesting. It's nice to see different parts of the world, if only through reading, and you certainly described the park beautifully. It almost made me want to jump on a plane and go over there right away.
The part where you described the roses was almost poetic; I liked that. ALso, the three of you getting the same taxi driver on the way home brought a little humor to the piece, and it was good.
ALong the middle part of the letter I began to get confused who between Jean-Paul and Derrick. I can't really call it a negative thing on your part, though, because it's my own mind that played tricks on me.
I also noticed some shifting in tenses, but again, it's quite alright since this letter was a little on the informal side and it really shouldn't be evaluated by mechanics.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this letter. Keep writing and telling us of the different sides of the planet!
God bless,
Equilibrium
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Brilliantly written! I love how you captured the essence of the sea with your words. The first two lines of every verse worked really well for me. 
Use an M-dash (ALT + 0151) instead of just a dash. Do not put any space before or after it.
Overall:
There were a few glitches in the grammar department, though they weren't really important and only a minor issue. I highlighted a couple for you and added my own suggestions:
