I enjoyed reading your poem! It's well written and gives a vivid image of a cat lazing around in the sun. It reminded me of my childhood cat. :) I am unsure of the structure of the poem though, is there any particular reason you've laid it out in that way? And if I were to be particularly pedantic, does a cat hiss from its nose? I always thought it was its mouth.
I really like this poem. The way you conjure up such a vivid image is very impressive, and although it's obviously not a very pleasant image that is conjured, it's masterfully described. I can imagine being at that abandoned farm house with the sun beating on my back. I liked the juxtaposition of the animal and plant death and with the death of an old, childhood home.
The poem itself flows really well and is laid out almost perfectly for the subject matter. The only thing I can criticise is the last couple of lines. I personally feel that the poem would be slightly stronger if the 'no' in the second to last line was dropped to the last line as the 'no going back' would make a short, sharp ending instead of having the end trail between two lines.
Liking the poem a lot. Some great imagery and a genuinely inventive way of looking at time. I love the idea that time has these invisible limbs continuously moving forward and that there is a cosmic hierarchy in which time serves the universe.
The only big criticism I can think of is that, to me, stanza 1 and 2 don't flow incredibly well with each other. It reads to me as two different poem's on time stuck together.
Great work and a good effort for your first poem.
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