This review is my own opinion, take from it what you will and I hope that it helps.



Initial Thoughts;

A pleasant piece that portrays a clear admiration. I can only assume your inspiration came from someone you care for deeply.

Spelling and Grammar;

I didn't catch anything wrong with the initial structure of the piece, however you may wish to look over points of break. Where you'd like certain pauses to take place and how it actually reads. For example, the second stanza;

She lets out a sigh
As she opens her eye
And hazily stares up to my delight.

First two lines flow together nicely but reading the final line, you find a bit of a stutter. It just feels as though there are too many syllables.

She lets out a sigh
As she opens her eye
With a hazy stare that brings delight.

I've re-worked the sentence to use one less syllable. I think this allows the flow to work nicer. You can test a few of such points out and see what you think.

What I liked;

I like the fact the piece takes on a lighter tone to it. It's giving a feeling of joy from feelings brought on by another but not in a heavy, over emotional way. Rather using a simplistic, lighter approach, this causes it to feel somewhat refreshing to the reader.

What I did not like;

My only real issue with it is some of the flow from the piece. Read the whole thing out loud, it helps greatly. If you find yourself tripping up a bit anywhere, then it's time to have a second look at it. Sometimes you have to de-construct the entire sentence before you can rebuild something which works better.


Final thoughts;

I liked it, I find it to be quite a refreshing, simple little piece that makes you smile. It portrays deeper feelings but I don't feel the need to search for them as I'm already content. It's quite simply, 'nice.'

Good job and keep on writing.