I'm still trying to get into the story line because I am not used to reading about little kids but altogether I'm interested to see what happens to tyler. I think if you re-read it once there will be some words you see you might want to change, but not really too much. I also think the way you use mommy might be a little over done because the narrator isn't the child. (As far as I know) I look forward to reading more and will probably be back looking for the next part if it's up.
I really enjoyed this! Usually I read fantasy type books but I gave this a try because I was curious to find out how he got the injuries for his daughter. I like how you used different types of words to describe something. I and probably many other writers have a problem trying to do that but it seemed easy for you. At first the beginning seemed odd but after reading more I realized it was a good choice to start it out like that. The only thing I have to say is that I think any form of telling what the person looks like in the begining might bring in something. I don't really thinks it needs it much but I thought I might mention it.
I would like to start this review by saying that your writing is amazing. You gave enough information to tell what was around and didn't over do it at all. When you were writing about her fight everything seemed so fast paced yet the writing didn't seemed listed like some tend to do. I am thogh sorry to say I have nothing bad to say about this. I read it twice to try and find something to help you with but your writing is so far better than mine I could't find anything. Congrats that was great.
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/fantasy588
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.06 seconds at 2:52am on Nov 16, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
