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1
1
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
For Muslim men and women,- for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in Charity, for men and women who fast (and deny themselves), for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise,- for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward. [Chapter 33, verse 35]

Send me to Hell? No, I'd much rather have forgiveness and a great reward.

I understand and agree with the general theme of this poem; women are oppressed in many parts of the world. I do, however, take offense at your stereotypical link of Islam to the oppression of women.

Islam forbade the killing of female babies, and the Qur'an defends these innocent children, what crime, afterall, did they commit? As a Muslim woman, I know first-hand the beauty of Islam. Did you know that more women actually convert to Islam than men? In the last 2 years alone, I personally know 5 women from various backgrounds who choose to follow Islam.

Regards,
Farhana
2
2
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey there,

As a Muslim (and a logical person lol) I can see the point you're trying to make....and you make it well (I think you'd have to tighten it up a little to make it truly convincing).

Muslims believe that the issue of pre-destination is something that we will never fully understand, so we shouldn't overly concern ourselves with this. Pre-destination isn't the only issue that Allah tells us we shouldn't question, others include: when is the day of Judgement and what is the soul? This isn't to say that Muslims blindly follow teachings without question. It is well documented that the companions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) constantly questioned him on many issues.

By the way, I always felt that hell might not be such a bad place after all: it would be populated with people of at least a somewhat higher average IQ than heaven. It wouldn't get dull, that's for sure.

For a rational thinker, your logic is surely rather flawed? Your assertation that pre-destination cannot be explained, therefore does not exist is illogical. There are a million mysteries of the universe that we cannot explain, does the universe then not exist? And, on what basis is hell not a bad place? What wishful thinking! Have you met someone who's been there? Have you seen it yourself? Actually, based on your kind of logic - since you can't prove its existence, it doesn't even exist!

I'm intrigued - why do you think we're all here?

Regards
Farhana
3
3
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
What a shame such an insightful piece of writing hasn't had a single review! Well, that's about to change! This piece is brilliant!

As a Muslim, it really opened my eyes to matters that I already thought I understood, but did not fully grasp. I feel like this is in a way the introduction to what could be a whole book. I love Barnaby's (umm...forget his surname now) book - "the roots of the shia/sunni schism" for its detailed historical analysis of the rise of Islam. This reminds me of that book in a way.

In the seventh century, nearly 1400 years ago, Muhammad, a respected businessman turned nomadic religious leader, started a new religion in Arabia.

I was tempted to right-off your work after reading this opening line, but I'm glad I read on. Was he really a respected business man? He was famous for being a shepherd, and then doing some trade for Khadijah (who later became his wife, may Allah's pece be on her). And, yes - he was very good at it. But, I think being an excellent employee for a businesswoman hardly equates to being a good businessman yourself.

Secondly, Muslims strongly disagree that Islam was a new religion started by Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Allah says in the Qur'an:
Or do you say that Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the Descendants were Jews or Christians?

Muhammad was on the religion of Abraham. Did Abraham worship a trinitarian god?

Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the last prophet in a line of prophets that all called to the belief in One God.

His instructions were to teach his followers the proper ways to worship God, conduct prayer, and perform ablution, the often religious ritual act of washing or cleansing the body, or some part of it.

You've touched on the most fundamental aspect of worship - praying to God, but you've made too much of the abulution which is simply a condition for prayer. Yes, it is an excellent thing, but as you're limited by space, why not concisely summarise the most important teachings like: being good to parents, the orphans and the needy, giving in charity and dealing with people justly?

I really would love to discuss the rest of the essay with you, but I fear my review will be as long as the piece. Why and how did you research this? Some really excellent points have been made here, not least the closing argument:

To realize that Islam has spread through non-aggression, one has only to consider that Islam has spread rapidly on the East Coast of Africa and Indonesia, with ninety percent of its population practicing Islam, has the highest concentration of Muslims in the world, yet no Muslim army has ever set foot in either of these regions.

This really is an amazing point! I heard recently that no other religion is studied so deeply by non-followers as Islam is by non-Muslims. A great beauty of Islam is that people recognise that Muhammad (peace be upon him) was a great person and leader, whether they choose to follow him, or not.

Keep up the great writing!
Regards,
Farhana

P.S. Please add references at the end.
4
4
Review of Sacred  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hi there,

This piece seems really interesting and well written, but unfortunately - I just don't get it. I understand that the three people are the 3 major religions, and the fertile land is possibly mankind? Is the piece advocating that Religions shouldn't claim their supremacy because by doing so they destroy those they are trying to guide?' I don't know.

I'm a British Muslim, so your reference to Islam as the religion of the people of the moon was intriguing. I understand that the moon is often used as symbolic of Islam (because the Islamic calender is run on the lunar year as opposed to the solar), but really the moon has no association to Islam. To be a Muslim, one need only believe that "there is no god, except (One God) Allah, and that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is the slave and messenger of Allah".

You have likewise linked Judaism to the star, but unusually linked Christianity to sacrifice. Of course, this refers to the sacrifice Christians believe Jesus (peace be upon him) made for them - but, I find it odd that you choose a favourable quality of Christianity to represent it, and not just a symbol (like the cross).

Islam is a religion of justice. It is well aware of the existence of other religions because it is a continuation of these religions.

Say, [O believers], "We have believed in Allāh and what has been revealed to us and what has been revealed to Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac and Jacob and the Descendants and what was given to Moses and Jesus and what was given to the prophets from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and we are Muslims [in submission] to Him."

Regards,
Farhana

P.S. Did you copy this from another place you had it stored? The format currently is difficult to read. Try starting each sentence on a new line.
5
5
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Kenzie,

Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;

thou shalt not bow down unto them, nor serve them;

What do you make of the above verse(s)? As you know, Islam forbids the depicting of God, and from my understanding of the Bible, it does the same.

I'm also interested in the fact that Jesus is always depicted as being white when historically surely he must have been darker?

Lastly (if you have the patience to answer all these questions), why are images of "The Father" not found in churches, only images of Jesus (peace be upon him)?

Regards,
Farhana
6
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Review of Rebirth  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


A really powerful piece of writing! I have never been to see a grave up-close. I'm a Muslim, and in Islam, women don't go to graveyards. There is something so sad about the way graveyards are kept. I pass one on my way shopping and always say a silent prayer. It's by a busy road, has some rusty iron railings surrounding it, and is mostly neglected. It symbolises to me how people feel about death - they think it won't affect them so they carry on with their daily routine without a care. But, one day they will go through those iron railings, never to return.

Best Points...


*Flower4* I like the way you have contrasted the living with the non-living, like here:
A fresh card sheathed between the stones.

*Flower4* Life passed by perhaps moments ago, perhaps a while
Very powerful to me, it's exactly how I see it. A place for the dead, but it still attracts the living...

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* Crisp and new, among remembrance’s brittle twigs -
I didn't understand this line.

*Cut* You’re beyond this time, past all corruption and decline
Corruption? Was it the other driver's fault?

*Cut* The ending is almost hopeful. What do you believe about the afterlife? Do you believe in reincarnation? For me, graveyards are sad places, we can't escape the reality of death - it takes us one step closer to our eternal Judgement.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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7
7
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hi there,

General Thoughts...


A cute piece!

Best Points...


*Flower4* I love the idea behind this a lot. I hate all things extravagant, but sharing...well there I certainly make an exception. I think giving of yourself is just about the best thing a person can do. I agree, it does create a momentum of loving.

*Flower4* You might like these sites:

wwww.helpothers.org
www.postpals.com

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* I'm not sure what the problem is (is it grammatical, or simply presentation?) but this doesn't flow well when I read it. I can only understand the piece by re-reading it.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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8
8
Review of The Pond  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


A lovely piece of writing.

Best Points...


*Flower4* Your eye for detail is excellent, especially the way you describe things that are unseen by the average observer, like:
Many an unsuspecting animal wandered into that area, only to emerge covered with the brown blood suckers.

*Flower4* The picture is beautiful and really adds to this piece making it a treat to read.

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* The body of water was larger than a puddle but smaller than a lake.
There's a big difference between the two. This sounds nice when you read it, but I'm not sure it helps the reader to actually see what you're describing.

*Cut* You've classified this as a story, but with no beginning, middle or end, and no characters, I don't think it qualifies for a story at all.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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9
9
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


A very unusual piece - check it out guys!

Best Points...


*Flower4* Death was a beautiful woman
I like the personification. You have justified your extrodinary stance well *Wink*

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* This was a total puzzle, until I read the brief description (after I read the piece). Being in love is like death? That's a totally new analogy, haven't heard that one before, but I can see your point.

*Cut* And then she danced again.
I'm not sure why, but this line doesn't fit...is it too long/short...or something...it just doesn't sound right when I read it.

*Cut* And this one's custom made.
made doesn'y rhyme with grave. The rest of your poem rhymes though, I would stick to one or the other.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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10
10
Review of Forbidden Love  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Thanks for entering my contest:

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This piece needs to be read through again to catch a few typos:

Wanting to you know you,

With you by my side,to talked to and laughed with.
Space after the comma

But were living in reality.
were should be we're (a mistake you make a lot - keep an eye-out for that one)

I'm glad you made the only "real" choice there was to make. You just have to think for a sec. how it would feel to be on the other side of infidelity to know that it is wrong - completly wrong.

Write On!

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
11
11
Review of The Interview  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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This is a really fascinating piece of writing - it had me hooked! What didn't they get? The pain and suffering? It is shocking how pain only matters when you're the one feeling it...

I felt the ending was powerful, but it left me wanting more...too many unanswered questions.

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
12
12
Review of Against the Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Shame the contest was deleted (that seems to be happening too often these days) - congrats on your win!

Free spirit I
I really think "I" should be on the next line.

A lovely poem, but the opening line ruined it for me.

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
13
13
Review of So Simple  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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So, this is based on experience? I'm not much of a fan of free verse - but your writing is wonderful! This is such a delightful "story". Your attention to detail has the reader smiling inside - we're all as jealous as hell lol!

Write On!

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
14
14
Review of BRIAN'S BALLAD  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
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This is such a heart-breaking story. I'm really sorry for your loss. At first I thought perhaps you guys had a falling out, and I know that they can often be permanent and devastating...

I'm sure few people have ever had friendship like this...In hindsight it must seem like a huge honour.

Thanks for sharing this.

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
15
15
Review of Invincible Summer  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Wow! You do use the theme of the seasons well to convey a tragic crime its effect on a helpless victim. I love your writing!

I would suggest tightening this up a bit. More people would read a shorter piece. Some lines seem redundant, like:

No longer is it
simply about me.

I think the reader already understands this.

Write On!
Farhana

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
16
16
Review of Email Song  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
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A really unique piece of writing...people talk about talking to their loved ones who have passed on...but nothing like this - very moving!

Even tho’ it won’t be quite the same.
I think you should delete "quite" to improve the flow.

Write On!
Farhana

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
17
17
Review of Trunk  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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You write really well and good job for attempting such a long poem.

This is quite difficult to read. When I read it the flow gets interrupted a lot by having setences that run over onto new lines...like here:

Mom had said it was dangerous, and the floor
wasn't safe and we could be hurt

Write On!
Farhana

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18
18
Review of You  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Welcome to Writing.com!

This poem flows really nicely and it's theme is similar to a piece I wrote about God - is this about God?

And to still beleive...
believe

The writing is ever so slightly cliche - which is a disadvantage of this theme - but it still reads nicely.

Write On!
Farhana

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19
19
Review of Waiting....  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Can a blind archer aim?
Do I always duck?

I don't understand these lines? Are they some reference to you being unlucky in love?

And sent men to the gallows.
Helen knows its started wars.
The first line seems too long compared to the rest, and the 2nd starts going off in a different direction. I would suggest changing both.

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
20
20
Review of I'LL NEVER KNOW  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Gosh, I didn't see the ending coming at all. This is based on experience? The poem itself is nicely written, but morally the message is one that troubles me.

The last lines almost seem like an after-thought, your tone is regretful. With infidelity at epidemic proportions, I would wish that you work at strengthening your marriage rather than writing about a love that is forbidden to you.

Write on
Farhana

The contest closes on the 13th - come join the fun!
21
21
Review of Loving A Friend  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
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This is nicely written, but there are a few problems of flow when I read it. I personally think a rating of ASR would be more appropriate.

Afraid that If I'm wrong I'll grip regret

A powerful line! I'm not one to regret many things, but some mistakes can haunt us a life-time.

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22
22
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


This is a really touching story. You might like www.helpothers.org - it's amazing how simple acts of kindness can bring total strangers together. This week someone (anonymous) sent me a box of chocolates as a thank you - it was such a wonderful surprise! I'm amazed that in a world full of so much hate - good people still do exist *Smile*

I have a 2 and a half yr old nephew who's adorable. It makes me want to cry to think of any child suffering. But, God does have a plan...

Best Points...


*Flower4* Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. It's a tribute to Meghan (I checked out the site and saw her wonderful picture), to the simple act of giving and to God working in wonderful ways!

*Flower4* I called and sang into his answering machine just as he had told me to do.
An excellent opening line - really grabs the reader's attention.

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* Some more paragraphs and spacing would make this easier to read.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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23
23
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


I've learnt so much about you by reading these letters and encourage others to do the same. This is a window in to a beautiful person who's been hurt too many times.

TAKE A LOOK guys!

Best Points...


*Flower4* I think letter writing suits you. Do you find it therapeutic? You seem to write in a very clear-thinking, direct way. It's like the paper allows you to say with ease, what always seemed so difficult...

*Flower4* I think the questions you wanted answers to were very insightful. You focused on understanding your father, rather than simply blaming him. My father is a lot like yours, and I think it's a lot to do with his upbringing. His father was very strict, the only one to discipline, probably hit him (though my dad never laid a finger on me), a leader...perfectionist etc. etc. all the things my dad is. I bet you anything your dad was also raised that way. What a pity you don't know. It helped me a lot to know that, maybe it would help you too.

*Flower4* I really liked what you said about begging. Very true and powerful words!

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* Again, did you send this? And, what was the reaction?

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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24
24
Review of Letter to Paul  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi there,

General Thoughts...


A powerful and sad piece of writing.

Best Points...


*Flower4* Your words are raw, spoken from the heart. But, anyone can easily relate to how you feel. You convey the depth of your emotion - but you're not blinded by it, either. This is even more touching because it isn't just a rant, it raises questions and gives answers.

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* age of majority
what's that? Do you mean maturity?

*Cut* Maybe you could add an author's note as to why you decided to write this 2 years after "that" e-mail, and if you sent it, and what the reaction was.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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25
25
Review of May Angels Watch  Open in new Window.
Review by Farhana Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi VictoriaMcCullough Author Icon,

General Thoughts...


This is a reciprocal review on behalf of writetight , whom you were so kind as to have reviewed in the previous six months."

Muslims believe that when you praise God, the angels descend to listen. Doesn't that make you all warm and fuzzy inside! *Smile* It's wonderful to think we have angels watching over us *Smile*

Best Points...


*Flower4* May Angels watch from distant lighthouses,
A nice line, an interesting symbol your've chosen there. Both are symbols of "guarding over" mankind in danger.

*Flower4* May they find you when you depart
As a Muslim, I also believe that angels come to take the souls of people when they die. Muslims also believe that we have an angel on either side of us, writing down our good and bad deeds. These records will speak for us on the Day of Judgement.

Suggestions For Improvements...


*Cut* May they lift you up to heaven, on their wings
This line, in particular, interrupts the flow of the piece. Generally the piece didn't flow as well as it could do. Because the first words are the same, it would be nice to have all the lines of even length (or syllable count) to get a nice rythm going. Otherwise, it reads a bit like a list.

Write on!

Regards,
Farhana



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