Hello! I liked the story. I also liked how the main character went through several phases of emotions. I liked the dialogue. It was very real. I'm not sure that the change in the heart of the father was built up enough. I felt like it could have been led up to more. I did think that the Dad's idea was brilliant. I also thought that your main idea of her getting something she wanted was accomplished. Again, the writing was good. Good job!
Hello,
I liked this poem because it is real about mental illness. I've struggled with it and this sums up so much of it. I did have some trouble reading it. At times, I had to stop and start with the lyricism but that could be my own problem. Maybe you meant it that way to show the way mental illness makes someone think? I appreciate the vocabulary and word choice (which was just awesome), the form, and the rhyme. This was just a great poem.
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| (4.5)
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