Cute! I read all the way through before guessing where this was taking place! What a great read! Thank you for making my day. Is it all right if I print this out and share it with my Mom? It will go no further, we promise. This is a real "gem" (emerald city, gem, get it? at least pretend to lol?) :) At the beginning of this, you said "Frick and Frack Again?" Does that mean you have more little morsels like this? I'd love to read them. Has this been published somewhere? How about an antho of short stories of Frick and Frack? Just a suggestion.
What a great poem, and how true it is. I am always quoting His Word back to Him (like He doesn't know what's there, but He did tell me to memorize Scripture),sending up whispered prayers (think "whining and complaining), and screaming for help when I need it. I don't take time to listen to Him. Since I have tinnitus (contant noise in my ears, not a ringing, more like a buzzing), it is hard to hear Him, so I really have to listen hard. I tell myself I don't have time, but then I realize that He always takes time for me.
OOPS! There is my babbling. To Him, you, or anybody else who pretends to listen. I like "feel His answer". That is more what I get than actual words or an actual voice. This is a very moving piece. Was it published anywhere? If not, it should be. Keep touching souls with your writing!!! You're heading in the right direction, both with your life and your writing.
This is a great poem. I'm very judgemental, and this helped me to see just how futile being judgemental actually is. It is sin because only God may judge. At least, His is the only one that matters. The poem is great because it isn't preachy, yet it convicted me plenty. Where can I see more of your work?
Rosepetals
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Bravo!!! Well done!!! This is a great, cute story. It is believable, plausible, credible, and downright wonderful! If you find out where to get your hands on one of those mirrors, please let me know. lol. Your characters are believable in this setting. Overall, well done, you kept me reading until the end. It was an effortless read. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing! You are really good!!!
Rosepetals
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I really needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing it. I do keep two journals; a regular one and one for prayers and notes on Mass readings, etc, (I am Catholic). My regular one is about ten pages long for this whole year!!! I only write in it when something hits me or troubles me to do so. It was one of my goals this year to write in it everyday but that went by the wayside. I have one that is spiral bound, and I thought I would have to use more than one journal just for that!!! I don't keep a writers journal the way I should, either. I hope it's all right that I've printed out this article and am going to use it as a possible goal for the rest of the year. I agree with you, nothing replaces pen and paper, not a blog or an open folder somewhere or anything. This is a great article! Journaling should become a ministry. What a great way to pray!!! Thanks again for sharing this wonderful article!!! Keep writing, you are really a godsend!
Rosepetals
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Bravo! Your sensory images are wonderful! You take the mundane and make it something beautiful! WOW! I'll never look at washing dishing (or any ho-hum task) quite the same way again! Thank you for reminding me to use my senses as I write and to look at each chore as a treat instead of a drudgery. Keep writing and keep inspiring!!!
This is the perfect poem for Resurrection Sunday and for Spring!!! All the imagery in here lets me listern to the love. The sun is shining here and it is close to 80 degrees, and this poem is the perfect way to celebrate. You're a very good, very positive writer. Where was this published? Keep writing and listening.
This is a great poem. It would make a great hand-clapping Christian song. Your imagery as you compare the seasons is really great. I can hear every sound that you have mentioned! It's amazing what we can hear when we just let ourselves listen! Has this been published somewhere? It should be. Please keep writing, and keep making the images pop like this! Thanks for sharing it.
This is great! This is a great stand-alone, maybe for "Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine"? Or this would make a dynamite lead-in to a nail-biter novel. Second person can be tricky to use but you make it work here. Everything pops off the page for me. You've drawn me in and held my attention! I only hope my own mystery novel is half as good as this. Keep Writing, Slaving over a hot computer (lol). If you haven't gotten this published yet, it is just screaming for a home! Let me know if you find one? Thanks.
I will think twice before ever going to a yard sale again. lol. This was a great story. I liked it a lot! I would expect to read something like this in an "Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine". It is top notch. Bill killing the woman was very unexpected. Bill giving little Rachel the dinosaur was hea-warming. All of the imagery and description in this story is very realistic. I liked the dream of Bill as a seven -year-old losing his Mother after a yard sale. Keep writing. If this story has not been published, get it out there and keep it out there until it is! It needs a home! Thank you for sharing it.
I really liked this a lot!!!! I can't imagine having a baby at 19 (or at 52 for that matter). Was this piece written from a real incident? I don't know much about birthing and birth rooms, but you brought the whole experience to life for me. I'm glad Moriah had only 5 hours of labor. We've all known "horror stories" of women going for days in labor. Not only was this Mother's Day for Moriah, it was also Labor Day! This was a good, real piece that made me feel like I was there through dialog and Moriah's fear.
This is great. How many times are we scared as adults, but can't name why? This poem is "short and sweet" and gives what is needed to make me feel this, make me see this, make me love this., make me care. Has this poem been published? If not where are you shopping it around to?
I absolutely love this!!! The imagery pops. Everyone is searching for something. The thought of looking for two identical snow flakes is a great metaphor for this. Marie survives her father's death by continuing his quest for these snowflakes, and their love of snow. I could feel Marie's love for her father and her grief that he was no longer there, at least not physically.Her mother was supportive and loving. This is a great story for this time of year.
This definately makes me want to read more. I like the way the narrator talks directly to "dear reader". It has a great light air about it. This is a "feel good" story if ever there was one. Do you have a publisher for it yet, or do you write first and find publisher second,like I do? I can't wait to read the next chapter!!!
This was good and cute and typical of all mothers everywhere, except maybe June Cleaver, lol. Your story was great! The compliment was also typical of kids and everyone else because kids don't remember meals or anything else for longer than two seconds. Your words are sharp and to the point, no rambling, your word choice is very well done. The subject of this story is also wonderful. Keep it up! You're doing great!
This is a great story. No, I wouldn't talk about your science. lol. Your characters are true to life and your imagery absolutely pops. I love "can you smell the color green?". Color painted air is also great. Just the title of this story made me want to read it. It proves that no matter the circum-stances, no mattter the lot in life, family matters most. I loved it!
This is great! I really enjoyed reading this. I've always wanted to go to Arizona and to go Jet Skiing. You've made me feel like I was there, doing both! "carving the water" is an excellent description! Now we come to something I need to mention that is not a positive: you've used three cliches "lend a helping hand", "sun up to sun down", and "never a dull moment". It is easy, believe me, to do this. When I write, if I can't think up a new way to say it, I mark it with the highlighting feature and then come back to it when I edit. Overall, this is a wonderful piece and I like it very much!
This is great! How true how judgemenal people can be. Instead of welcoming them because they at least come to Mass, they are shunned. I expected somebody to shout "isn't that special?" The character names are great choices because there is "no room for them in the Inn". The use of the priest who looks to the back of the room, but does nothing, reminded me of the priest in the Good Samaritan who sees the man in the ditch, but crosses over to the other side of the road and keeps on going. This is a wonderful story and hopefully will open some eyes and change some hearts! Has this been published anywhere? It needs to be. There are a couple of typos, but I have yet to meet anyone who does not make a typo at least once in awhile. lol. Anyway, all in all, this is a great piece. Whether you get it published or just wrote it for WDC,it is truly an insightful story! Thank you for reminding us what is important.
The only reason I didn't give this a 5.0 is that I wanted more, more, more story!!!!! This is wonderful and the happy ending makes it even moreso. Even though this is only 311 words, it really moved me and made me smile, both at the same time. I felt empathy for that poor little kitten. I love all animals and can't stand to hear one cry, so this really moved me. The uncertainty this woman felt about her new husband came through very well. I loved the way you made the refrain running through her head keep time with the rain dripping off the roof. I could see and hear this story. Well done. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Your story of "What the Mind Can't Hide" hit home with me. I've felt like this for many years. Am I hiding from myself? The difference between the two of us is that you had the guts to write it and share it publicly. Your story is great. It is wonderful. The way you write it captures the confusion and the "craziness" that waits just around the corner for all of us. Really great work.
This is a really great poem. The mood and the rhythm are just great. I have a problem, though, with the use of "pitter-patter" and "the beaten path". These are cliches that might cause an editor to pass by this otherwise great poem.
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