A very inspiring poem and it is alway a great way to start a morning reading about how much our God cares for us. This summer we have been blessed with beautiful sunshine,last night we had the liquid kind, to day is the pale light grey look. We so desperately needed water, as our flowers and lawns were drying out and withering away. Your love for our Creator is amazing it is shining through in every word of your poem.
A heartfelt poem. You have used your emotions vividly. I know how heartbroken you must be to be waiting for a phone that doesn't ring. Your poem here is strong. I liked the last verse the most. Oil and water is toxic but it can work out. Don't lose site of that. All the best!
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Wow peanut, this poem is so heart touching it made me weep. I know what it was like to be an orphan, unwanted and unloved. I would have given the world for a Mom such as this beautiful lady. Thank you for loving her, for giving her the great honor that you do here in this poem. I hope you gifted her this tribute.
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Gifted by: sonnetwolf
Once again you have used a lot of descriptive writing here. This is wonderful to weave imagery into a story like that. I like the storyline, your plot is well thought out, and your ending is solid. I can see the street people in the hall eating a feast.
The only suggestion I would make and remember it is only my opinion is to use paragraphs. I would also leave a line between each paragraph. It makes it easier to read. This is just what I would suggest..it is your story to do as you please. I guess I have review all your works here. I will be back again. I enjoyed my visit.
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Gifted by: sonnetwolf
I want to congratulate you for beginning a novel. I just know I could never write one, so I envy anyone that trys it.
You have done a nice job here into your introduction. I like the descriptiveness in your writing You have done a great job describing the forest, you made good use of many colors.. white bark, sky blues and cruel reds.. etc. Your theme seems fitting for a novel, and I will return again to see how it is progressing.
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Gifted by: sonnetwolf
Good morning writes-a-lot777, this is Funnyface dropping by to say hello. I read your cute little poem here "Golden Bow"
I sense this is a very meaningful treasure of yours. To be able to wear it around your neck and know that it holds a lot of data is reassuring. Things you might need to know at your finger tips. Simply lovely.
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Gifted by: sonnetwolf
Hello Renegade _Angel this is Funnyface. I took a peek through your port, and I want to tell you I know you are going to do well here. I like your writing style.
I am reviewing a story of yours to thank you for reading an item of mine. I chose this one. I was drawn to read on because of the title and brief description. I can picture these men sitting around gambling the winner choose by the rolling of the dice
Oh I can imagine there had to be a lot of excitement when the knocks came to the door. I would have ran out the back door on into the woods as well... To bad his bills were flying away and what a surprise he was in for when he fell in to the hands of the two FBI agent. An enjoyable story well told!
Hello Amity this is Funnyface. Welcome to writing.com. If I can help you in any way, just e-mail me.
I am so sorry that you had to go through such horrible abuse by your Father. The story you told is filled with vivid details of actions he took.Horrible deeds, especially to a little one. I find this poem is heart wrenching and your ending is very strong.
Hugs of comfort to draw on if you need them.
Good evening writes-a-lot777 welcome to writing.com. If I can help you find your way around, I am just an e-mail away. I am so sorry your friend lost her Mother to death at such a young age. I also lost my mother when I was a wee kid, before school age. Death is so final, and I don't think a child will ever get over the lost. I think your friend must feel that you are there to listen to her. You are a sweetie to let her talk about her Mother and deal with her sorrow.
Hello poetrygirl. Your little poem on Depression says so much. It plagues so many of us that we can visualize it coming a calling at our doors. I know that when we are depressed it does way to often feel as if we are in it's icy grips. You used your words wisely here and did a magnificent job describing depression.
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Created & Gifted by: sonnetwolf
I can never imagine being able to write a song. Lyric is something I don't think I can master, so I am impressed when I read the ones people write. I know many people will relate to the words in this song. So many need to wonder where they stand in a relationship, or if the other person really cares. Love should be kind, caring and sharing. It should be giving, supporting and certainly a strong friendship. We all deserve to be loved and cherished.
Such a lovely love poem. I like how you express how much you love for him/her and in the various way. It is so important to communicate that love. My favorite part is the verse next to the last especially the last four lines. I also think I found a typo error, "To afraid to trust they woman" The word in red. I really liked this poem.Good job!
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Hello poetrygirl, this is Funnyface dropping by toshow my appreciation for your visit to my port.
"Never Really Whole To Begin With" is a heartfelt poem. I am so sorry your heart is broken. I really believe love is being treated like fine china. Cherished, respected, and help in high esteem. I hope you find some one that will really love you.
All the best and I think your poem is simply lovely.
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This poem touches my heart. Lady_lily you have such feeling and passion in this poem. I lost my Mother at an early age so I can only wish I could recall my mother to be able to write about A great job, and i want to congratulate you for having works published.
Hello Sherri I am reviewing an item of your to show my appreciation for you reviewing a story of mine.I choose to read "Go Away"
I find you have deep emotions here, I sense that you might be torn, thinking it might be better if he went away, yet still you want him to stay. I know when this occurs it can cause a lot of heartache and pain. I watch my daughter go through something like this, I often cry with her. A heart felt poem and well written. Hugs of comfort!
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Hello Kiara this is Funnyface. I notice you are fairly new here and I want to welcome you. If there is any questions you might have about your way around here. I will be happy to answer them.
Your poem here is short but very beautiful. I can picture those stars rolling across the darkened sky..they certainly are gems sparkling on valet on high. Nice subject and a nice job with the content. It is a pleasure to read it.
Hello Nathan this is Funnyface. Welcome to Writing.com we are happy you joined, if I can help in any way I am an e-mail away.
I enjoyed your story here very much. I recall my sons rooms when you were describing the cloths on the floor. I like how you build suspense in this story. Where had everyone gone..what happened to the television. I can see you adding another chapter to this or adding on to this. The only suggestions I would make are between paragraphs leave a empty line and the second thing would be to change the word Mike on the beginning of one of the chapters. You could use He or whatever. Keep writing this is nice!
Hello Cool and Cozy Cougar I dropped by to read one of your items to thank you for a review of one of mine. I chose Maury.
What a wonderful heart toughing story. I loved reading every word of it but must admit I had misty eyes by the time it ended.
Your story is strong throughout, and I wouldn't change a word here. It is filled with love..of a dog and humans,experimental where Muray got the chip, it courage and bravery. It has emotions that caused me to smile in a few place and cry in others. This story made great use of dialogue.
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Wow Allacea, this is indeed a perfect wedding night. I just wish every young woman would wait and have a wedding night as beautiful as this one.
I really liked your descriptive writing, you have filled the story full of love and romance but the best part of all is your fine details.
Keep writing.
A simply delightful story. I love to read tales written for or about children. You have solved a problem with this little girl by the usage of color pencils. I would never have thought of that idea..i think I will mention it to my daughter to use with my four year old grandson. This was not only a great story but a help aid as well.
Raynie, I must say this poem is powerful..so many times when one is in a relationship filled with lies, they do become twisted and become one. It is so sad when someone or something kills their spirit and are no longer who they once were. Love is not suppose to be like that.I am so sorry to whomever is going through this as it destroys the spirit. It is a forum of abuse. Great emotions expressed here.
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Gifted by: undocked22
Mam maw Broken Childhood is so very sad. I relived my life as I read your words. I lived in many foster homes..and still I was never prepared for the loneliness missing my siblings. I think to know we were in foster homes and they only have us because of the money is heart breaking to the foster children. I could never figure out what I did wrong that they could never love me. I know sweetie, how hard it had to be on you. Were you able to stay in contact with your parents and siblings?
Pensive, how encouraging, both to you for being able to make the call to the mental health center, and to spoken to Norma. She was an inspiration to you, by encouraging you. I love how she told you that God understood your anger and frustration. How comforting this must have been. Do I believe Norma was an angel. I believe we have angels administering to us many times, times we might not take notice of. Indeed Norma was your angel.
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Gifted by: undocked22
Wow, what a touching story. You captured me with your your descriptive writing. and I felt as I was in the dark prison. I can feel fear, fear of never departing, fear of the guard and of the rats. I feel loneliness, when the birds never come to your window, I sense despair as you wonder if you will ever escape. Your ending is the most powerful part of this story.. as you are about to escape you are drawn back in, and as you tear the mask off the guard, you see yourself staring back at you.. How clever.
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Simply a delightful poem. You have captured the essences of friendship in the words of your poem. Yes it is always a sign of true friendship when a person thinks of another instead of them selves. I never thought about a friend loving us even if it is not returned,and so many do understand what we are trying to say even if we can't put it in words. My favorite is the third two lines. A great job here, and I would like to be a friend to you like that.
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