This is a great poem, very well executed,prose and purpose intact.I have enjoyed reading it and at this point I don't see how it could be improved.Please continue in making a good work of writing.
well< i would love to leave 250 char... except all I can say is very well done! (l was left out in 2nd to last line but we wont be picky.)with that not said, keep up the great work, and maybe try something even more on the lighter side. I believe in the current format you could extend this train of thought much further......poetic novella
Imaginative, very good story base going on that may lead into much more to come possibly later. There are a few parts that would sound more inflow if removed such as....Behind the men, etc... Overall very well thought out.
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